THE man is a poet, when you think about it.
And, really, you should think about it that way. Because if the statement that George Steinbrenner released yesterday is meant to be taken on the level, then we may have the makings of a few movie sequels in the works here.
“Boss, Interrupted,” for example.
Or: “One Flew Over the Owner’s Box.”
Or: “Really, Really, Really Nuts.”
Yes, this has to be a new avocation from George M. Steinbrenner, a present to himself celebrating 30 years as the principal owner of the Yankees, a way to pass the time before the start of the American League Championship Series.
Hey, even gazillionaire sports owners need a hobby, and let’s face it, how much of a pastime is it to watch your Aston-Martin of a baseball team beat up on a fleet of AMC Pacers wearing Minnesota Twins uniforms?
No, this has to be it. Work with me here. Read the words in stanzas. Maybe think of Bob Sheppard doing the narration:
New Yorkers support our team/
With their hard-earned money/
I want our team to understand/
What we owe them/
By the way we dress/
And how we play on the field/
One thing we hold dear:/
A quitter never wins/
And a winner never quits/
For us, winning isn’t the only thing/
It’s second/
To breathing/
As MacArthur said:/
Victory/
Is essential
Yes, this is genius, in some abstract form. It has to be. Surely, to borrow a line from another noted New York poet, J.P. McEnroe, Steinbrenner cannot be serious.
Unless I am grossly underestimating just how proud it makes a Yankee fan to watch surfer-dude Jeff Weaver fidget in one of his all-grown-up suits, because the fact that he wears a coat and tie will clearly make them forget the fat hanging sliders he enjoys serving up to opposing hitters.
Unless I am failing to see the relevance in reviving the “quitter never wins” speech that was already 147 years old when Steinbrenner was no doubt delivering that line to his football players back at Purdue.
Unless I am too simple to understand that winning isn’t only non-essential (at least not when it comes to other matters of critical national importance, such as food, water, the prospect of waking up tomorrow morning to the reality of a “Governor Schwarzenegger,” and the present, up-to-the-second status of Bennifer), but that the world will, as we know it, go on if the Yankees don’t win the World Series.
Or even – gasp! – the ALCS.
Not to worry, though. George Steinbrenner didn’t become a gazillionaire owner by accident. Hey, how does the old saying go? Wealthy folks aren’t crazy, they’re eccentric. And no one has been more generous in publicly sharing his eccentricities through the years than Steinbrenner.
So don’t worry. All is well. After all, only a crazy man would release this statement and expect anyone to take him seriously.
Right?
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PINSTRIPE POETRY
‘One thing we hold dear: A quitter never wins And a winner never quits For us, winning isn’t the only thing It’s second only to breathing’ – George Steinbrenner