April 3, 2003

NYSE GETS KICKED IN ITS SEAT AS LEASES GO BEGGING

YOU may not be able to get a seat on the subway, but you can certainly get one at the New York Stock Exchange. In fact you'd probably have a...

TWIN STARS DOUBLE UP ON CD DEAL

Mary-Kate and Ashley have a record deal. The teenage Olsen twins - who first became famous with their childhood roles on the sitcom "Full House" - plan to announce today...

SWINGING THE AX: MERRILL TO LAY OFF MORE THAN 100 IN BANKING

Merrill Lynch & Co. is bracing for yet another bloodletting, The Post has learned. In the next few weeks, the nation's biggest brokerage will begin another big round of layoffs...

RENOIR AUCTION SCRATCHES 10-YEAR ITCH

The first major Renoir to hit the auction block in more than a decade - a work valued at up to $30 million - sent a buzz through the art...

MESSIER GOT BIG BUCK$ BEFORE EXIT

Jean-Marie Messier cashed out big time before he was booted as chief of Vivendi Universal in July. Messier was paid $6.1 million for the six months he worked at the...

GODOFF RAIDS RANDOM AUTHORS

Deposed Random House chief Ann Godoff has taken her act on the road. Godoff yesterday unveiled a dozen books for her new imprint, Penguin Books - and most are by...

ABE LEAVING THE NABE ; EX-CON HIRSCHFELD CUTS PRICE ON FIFTH AVE. APTS.

FELON Abe Hirschfeld is itching to get out again. This time around, the parolee is looking to escape from his two high-maintenance apartments at 825 Fifth Ave. The self-promoting parking-lot...

WAR'S BIG SCORE - DOW SURGES 215 ON IRAQ ADVANCE; WORLD MARTS GAIN

Ignoring our shrinking economy, Wall Street cheered the march on Baghdad to send stocks and the greenback soaring in a powerful victory rally felt around the world. It was one...

TYCO SUES ITS EX-CFO FOR $400M

Frustrated Tyco International lawyers have hammered big-spending former Chief Financial Officer Mark Swartz with another federal lawsuit - this time chasing him for a whopping $400 million. The latest legal...

'IN-LAWS' UP

'THE In-Laws," a comedy starring Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks, will make its world premiere on May 10 at the second Tribeca Film Festival. In this Andrew Fleming-directed remake of...

STARR REPORT

Sixth sense: 'Sex' in season all over town With all the hooha over "The Sopranos," which finally began shooting its new season this week, it's easy to overlook the fact...

HOW MANY LIVES?RED-FACED GERALDO MAY MARCH BACK TO IRAQ

THE Pentagon says Geraldo Rivera is welcome to go back into Iraq with U.S. troops - now that he's learned his lesson. Chased off the frontlines by charges he'd compromised...

'FRENCH OVERTURES' A TECH KNOCKOUT

ELIOT FELD'S BALLET TECH At the Joyce Theater, 175 Eighth Ave., at 19th Street; (212) 242-0800. Through April 13. SOMETIMES - not often - a ballet just seems to click....

'WEST WING' COSTS CRISIS

'WEST Wing" creator Aaron Sorkin is in trouble again. His bosses at Warner Bros. studio have slapped Sorkin with an order to stop going over budget, according to a memo...

DOPEY, SICK, SCARY ...DON'T MISS IT

"SCARE TACTICS" Tomorrow at 10 on Sci Fi PLEASE God forgive me, but I love "Scare Tactics," a completely insane show. It's like Morbid Candid Camera - except that here...

FLEECED CLUBGOERS AT THE END OF THEIR ROPES

IF you're venturing out into clubland, beware: The struggling economy hasn't made New York's famously sadistic doormen any nicer, just more mercenary. At many venues, whether or not you grow...

RAP(ID) RISE FOR 'METEORA'

LINKIN Park has gone meteoric. The rap-rock band's sophomore disc, "Meteora," rocketed to the top of the charts, selling 810,500 copies its first week out. Canadian diva Celine Dion saw...

GEEK PREVIEWS: FILM AIDS TO UNRAVEL SCI-FI PLOTS

IF you don't know your Aragorn from your Morpheus, don't panic. Directors of the blockbuster sci-fi franchises soon hitting theaters - "The Matrix," "Star Wars," "The Lord of the Rings"...

TV TYSON: GIVE ME A T-HUG

MIKE Tyson's been tenderized. The new mellow Mike has taken up residence on ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live" all this week as guest co-host. Tyson's unpredictable behavior might have presented a...

SHARON'S ANSWER: NO CANCER

OZZY Osbourne says his wife, Sharon, is now cancer-free after undergoing treatment for colon cancer. "Ozzy says Sharon has completed her treatment and has no signs of cancer," Ozzy's spokesman...

DUDE, IT'S THE FASHION! L.A.'S NEW SHOWBIZ L.A.'S NEW SHOWBIZ

NEW York City and Los Angeles are as far apart in style as their coastlines. So it makes sense that the first "official" L.A. Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week - organized by...

2 SIDESTEP 'IDOL' BOOT IN JAIL TWIST

THE surprise jailhouse past of a disqualified contestant on "American Idol" saved two lucky singers from getting voted out of the competition last night. Just before the end of last...

TOM BACK TO GREENER PASTURES

TOM Green is going home again - to host another talk show on MTV. Green, who shot to fame hosting "The Tom Green Show" on MTV back in 1999, will...

REWIND THE MUSIC: RETRO-ROCK SOUNDS MIGHTY FAMILIAR

IF you want to revisit the heyday of The Doors and the Stones, you don't need a time machine - just step into a rock club. With the rock revival...

SPREE A NO-SHOW IN COURT

Knick star Latrell Sprewell faced a full-court press of a different kind yesterday. A Manhattan Community Court judge issued a bench warrant after Sprewell failed to appear in court to...

GIS TIGHTEN SADDAM'S NOOSE: MARINES SEE BAGHDAD SKYLINE -- WARY TROOPS DON CHEM SUITS -- GEN. WARNS OF 'DIFFICULT FIGHT'

U.S. forces closed in on Baghdad from two directions yesterday, rolling to within 19 miles of the city as desperate Iraqi commanders sent two divisions of their vaunted Republican Guard...

NYPD DAILY BLOTTER

Manhattan Police are offering up to $2,000 for the arrest of a man (above) they say robbed and sexually assaulted three women in separate incidents in Harlem. At 4:30 p.m....

WEIRD BUT TRUE

Cops say Michael Ostrander has an unorthodox way of trying to meet women - he puts photos of himself with penis exposed, along with his e-mail address, on the windshields...

ON TO BAGHDAD! NEW LESSONS IN WARFARE

AS the U.S. Army and Marines race each other to Baghdad - traditional service rivalry at its best - American battlefield innovations have come so fast it's hard to keep...

RUDY WON'T RULE OUT '08 PREZ RUN

Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani may take a shot at the White House, according to a big hint he drops in a new interview. New York's former mayor tells Esquire magazine that,...

MIKE'S BRAND-NEW BID TO CASH IN ON NYCTM

Mayor Bloomberg is preparing to sell New York City. Really. Citing the city's dire finances, the mayor yesterday named a marketing official to exploit the good name and reputation of...

PUFFER DEMANDS TO KNOW: WHEN'S OUR LIBERATION?

PROFESSOR Lois Laz arus is "mad as hell" and she isn't going to take it anymore. Lois, a former reporter at the Long Island Press, says, "We are about to...

'SOPRANOS' TUNE UP FOR 5TH SEASON - HBO'S MAFIA CREW STARTS FILMING IN QUEENS

New Jersey's most infamous mobsters are shooting again. Cast members put on their gold chains, black leather jackets and shiny sharkskin suits yesterday to begin filming what may be the...

POWELL'S TURKISH DELIGHT

WASHINGTON - Secretary of State Colin Powell's damage-control visit to longtime ally Turkey paid off yesterday with a deal to let U.S. forces use Turkish territory to resupply troops in...

RACING TOWARD BAGHDAD, SINGING OF HOME

Going through the Karbala Gap THE 54th Engineers were keyed up and prepared for an ambush yesterday as they headed into the Karbala Gap - the last stepping stone to...

'CARJACK' FIEND GETS 15 TO LIFE

The would-be carjacker who opened fire on a World Trade Center survivor as she clutched her baby daughter in her arms was sentenced yesterday to 15 years to life in...

MENINGITIS FEAR AT BX. SCHOOL

A Bronx school is trying to ease parents' fears after a 15-year-old student died of bacterial meningitis. Officials said attendance was lower than usual yesterday at IS 299 in Morris...

MULTIPLE-HIT BOMBS PROVE THEIR 'METAL'

The U.S. Air Force unleashed a deadly new weapon during yesterday's onslaught against armored Republican Guard units - precision-guided cluster bombs that seek out and destroy dozens of combat vehicles...

CHURCH LOSES IN WACKY HOLY WAR

A Russian church has lost a bizarre legal bid to take control of its former leader's personal affairs, force him to leave Canada and live in a nursing home in...

'MAFIA' DRUG BUST - 'SOPRANO' ACTOR HITS LOW NOTE WITH ARREST

An actor who plays a gangster on "The Sopranos" and the son of a real capo were among 29 mob wannabes slapped with drug charges yesterday. Richard "Richie Blue Eyes"...

GROUND ZERO SNAG - MALL REBUILDER REJECTS WINNING DESIGN

The company that holds the right to rebuild the World Trade Center shopping mall has sent officials a letter rejecting architect Daniel Libeskind's Ground Zero design - raising the possibility...

DEMS WANT TO GET GOV OUT OF MTA

ALBANY - Assembly Democrats yesterday introduced legislation to shake loose Gov. Pataki's control of the embattled MTA. The plan from Assemblyman Richard Brodsky (D-Westchester) comes amid charges of corruption at...

CIVILIANS BRING GIS GOOD CHEER

WASHINGTON - American forces are finally getting friendlier greetings from Iraqi civilians two weeks into the war, and the United States is speeding up its effort to help the people...

KIN VERBALLY BEAT UP DETECTIVES' 'MURDERER'

"Killer! Assassin!" In two words, a woman seated among a host of family members and colleagues of two slain undercover detectives summed up an 18-count indictment against the alleged shooter,...

SERVERS SUFFER FROM FILTERED TIPS

The smoking ban may help bartenders breathe a little easier when they're on the job, but many say it's taking a toll on their bank accounts. Doc Holliday's bartender Stacy...

HILL WORKS OVERTIME FOR HEROES

WASHINGTON - Democratic lawmakers yesterday attacked a powerful Republican senator for saying that New York City firefighters and police officers should not ask for all of their overtime when they're...

PRINCIPALS GET BELATED RAISES

The union representing school supervisors yesterday announced a deal with Mayor Bloomberg for a 9 percent salary jump over 27 months - ending a two-year labor standoff. Most of the...

BAD 'MOVE' FOR ACCUSED BOSS

A moving-company manager who admitted to ripping off customers, and who fingered his boss for heading the scam, turned government witness after he was demoted and ridiculed for being "too...

FBI ON RICIN ALERT

WASHINGTON - The FBI issued a frightening intelligence bulletin yesterday, warning field agents to be alert for terrorists trying to make chemical weapons such as ricin. The warning came as...

TEA, BUT NO SYMPATHY

South of HillahIT BEGAN with a gener ous offer for tea from some Iraqi farmers, but ended with a man arrested by American MPs and an village on edge, fearing...

CITY PATCHES A PLAN - WILL GIVE 35,000 FREE NICOTINE AIDS

If Mayor Bloomberg's new smoking ban hasn't given New Yorkers enough reason to quit, he's just come up with another: free nicotine patches. The Health Department yesterday announced it will...

B'KLYN FIRE KILLS 4 ; ARSONIST TORCHES ILLEGAL CASINO

Four people died yesterday when an arson fire ripped through a Brooklyn apartment building that housed an illegal gambling joint in the basement, officials said. Fire investigators said they found...

IRAQ'S FUTURE POLS HAVE DISARMING QUALITIES

IMAGINE a demilita- rized Iraq that's free of all military weapons - not just Saddam Hussein's doomsday weapons. Utopian? It's the real-life dream for some of the democracy-minded Iraqi exiles...

KLEIN EXEMPTS MORE SCHOOLS

Schools Chancellor Joel Klein yesterday exempted an additional 119 schools and special programs from the city's mandatory reading or math curriculum. Klein granted waivers to 20 schools based on their...

BRAVEST BURN OVER PROPOSED MARSHAL CUTS

In an effort to meet Mayor Bloomberg's budget demands, the FDNY is considering cutting 33 more marshals' jobs from the already hobbled bureau, a source told The Post. The cut...

PAL SHOOTS COP'S KID IN TRAGIC HORSEPLAY

A 14-year-old Long Island boy - the son of an NYPD cop - was critically wounded at his home yesterday when his best friend shot him as they fooled around...

$PECIAL ED GETS A TRIM

Mayor Bloomberg plans to dramatically slash the special-education bureaucracy. Currently, 37 committees made up of teachers, psychologists and social workers evaluate special-ed kids. The mayor and Schools Chancellor Joel Klein...

NO CAUSE FOR SARS ALARM: CITY

City health officials yesterday sought to reassure jittery New Yorkers there is "no evidence of any spread" of a mystery flu-like illness within the five boroughs. The officials said seven...

HOW DARING 'MIDNIGHT BALLET' BROUGHT BACK PFC. JESSICA FROM THE ENEMY'S EVIL CLUTCHES

The one thing they knew for sure was that they had to get her out of there. Intelligence agents had been hearing confusing and frightening reports from various sources about...

CRUSHING DEFEAT FOR ENEMY ELITE - BAGHDAD IN U.S. SIGHTS

WASHINGTON - American rockets pounded Iraq's elite Republican Guard, which was heading south from Baghdad today in a desperate bid to protect the capital, military sources said. The Iraqi units...

KERRY LEADS IN POLLS, LAGS IN FUNDS

WASHINGTON - Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry - who has been leading the crowded nine-way primary race in most polls - yesterday revealed that he's in second place when it...

PAT RECALLED AS GENEROUS IN 'KITCHEN'

A memorial Mass was celebrated in Midtown yesterday to honor former Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, the neighborhood statesman who was laid to rest this week. Nearly 100 friends, mourners and...

GIS TIGHTEN SADDAM'S NOOSE : MARINES SEE BAGHDAD SKYLINE ; WARY TROOPS DON CHEM SUITS ; GEN. WARNS OF 'DIFFICULT FIGHT'

They can see the Baghdad skyline. U.S. forces rolled toward the Iraqi capital from two directions yesterday after smashing two divisions of Saddam Hussein's vaunted Republican Guard. The Army advanced...

SOSA STILL WAITING FRO HR NO. 500

Sammy Sosa's much-anticipated 500th career home run didn't fly over a Shea Stadium fence last night in the Cubs' 4-1 loss to the Mets, but it likely won't be a...

YANKEES DON'T MISS A JETE: DEREK'S FILL-IN HOMERSAS BOMBERS CAP SWEEP

Yankees 9Blue Jays 7 TORONTO - The Yankees miss Steve Karsay and Mariano Rivera more than Derek Jeter. There will come a time when the All-Star shortstop's absence will be...

CHANEY GANG DESTINED FOR PRIME-TIME LOTTERY

KNICK NOTES DENVER -The Knicks will be in prime-time during playoff season after all. The NBA announced the lottery has been switched to 8 p.m. on Thursday, May 22. It's...

YANKEES DON'T MISS A JETE: ENRIQUE DESERVES BIG ASSIST

TORONTO - The phone rang in Erick Almonte's hotel room around noon yesterday, stirring the rookie awake from a 14-hour sleep that suggested either calm or oblivion about his big...

HORNETS BANG BOARDS, NETS

Hornets 106 Nets 97 NEW ORLEANS - In case you're one of those who believe the Nets don't really need Kenyon Martin, just look at last night. "When you have...

HAMMOND EARNS 'STRIPES ; LEFTY RELIEVER SAVORS KEY CONTRIBUTION

TORONTO - Chris Hammond watched Carlos Delgado chase a cutter down and away for the final out of the pressure-packed seventh inning with a runner on second last night to...

BIG CHANCE FOR VANCE ; WITH PIAZZA OUT, WILSON TAKES OVER

Vance Wilson has heard it all already. Lou Gehrig replaced Wally Pipp. Kurt Warner supplanted Trent Green. Tom Brady made Drew Bledsoe expendable. But there's a big difference when it...

ISLES TRY TO WING IT INTO PLAYOFFS

Win and in. It's as simple as that. Unfortunately for the Islanders, the words "win" and "simple" don't jibe when teams visit tonight's opponent, Detroit. The defending-champion Red Wings have...

PLAYING IT SAFE 'TIL THEY'RE OUT ; SLATS FELT POWERLESS ABOUT TAKING GAMBLE

IF THE Rangers had a working, reliable power play, Glen Sather might have pulled Mike Dunham in the final minute of the third period at the Coliseum on Tuesday. But...

FANS HOPE TO SEE SOSA'S 500TH HOMER

Nearly everyone at Shea Stadium for last night's Mets-Cubs game came to the park hoping to see Sammy Sosa drill his 500th career home run. Everyone, of course, except Mets...

DEVILS LOOKING OUT FOR NO. 2 ; HELL-BENT TO STAY AHEAD OF THE RED-HOT FLYERS

This wasn't in the script for the Devils. They were supposed to slay the bad guys and eventually triumph with the No. 1 seed in the Eastern Conference, or at...

MELLOWER JIM STILL SMART-ING FROM '87

NEW ORLEANS - It was 16 years ago, in this monstrosity of a building known as the Superdome, that Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim's gremlins emerged. The Orangemen had just been...

DEREK SET FOR MRI MOMENT OF TRUTH

TORONTO - Of all the Yankee bodies stuffed into an MRI tube, none was as important as Derek Jeter sliding into a Tampa machine today so the damage to his...

KIDD: I INTEND TO STAY

NEW ORLEANS - In perhaps his strongest statement yet about his future, Jason Kidd yesterday claimed he is "100 percent to stay" in New Jersey after he enters the free-agent...

THORN HIGH ON TOP PICK

NET NOTES NEW ORLEANS - If Nenad Krstic, last June's first round pick, does make next season's Net roster - and team president Rod Thorn said that is a distinct...

CLIFF WANTS TO GET JUMP ON SEASON

Cliff Floyd, one of the Mets' celebrated offseason acquisitions and a star player who's expected to elevate the franchise to a higher level, had more than enough time to stew...

NOW, THAT'S BETTER ; LEITER, FLOYD HELP METS GET 1ST WIN

Mets 4Cubs 1 After the Mets got ripped by the Cubs 15-2 on Monday, Tom Glavine said everyone would forget about Opening Day in a month or so. How's 48...

DON'T TURN OUT THE LEIT

WITH only 161 games to go and the walls fast closing in on the Mets, an out-of-towner noted how it can get late awfully early in New York. "How you...

MARCUS REUNION GOES TO KNICKS

Knicks 83 Nuggets 75 DENVER - It's a shame, really, watching how good Marcus Camby can be. It's a shame because you know he's probably never going to do it...

SELFLESS ENRIQUE TAKES ALMONTE UNDER HIS WING

TORONTO - The phone rang in Erick Almonte's hotel room around noon yesterday, stirring the rookie from a 14-hour sleep that suggested either calm or oblivion about his big assignment...

YANKEES DON'T MISS A JETE: HIT PARADE CONTINUES AS ALMONTE HOMERS IN DEBUT

Yankees 9 Blue Jays 7 TORONTO - If the Yankees could face Blue Jay pitchers exclusively while Derek Jeter is out they wouldn't miss the All-Star shortstop. With Jeter in...

COACHES' WOES HIT WALLING

Bad news comes in threes and the Mets' coaching staff is apparently no different. Hitting coach Denny Walling became the latest coach to learn he has a medical problem, undergoing...

THE TEST OF TIME: MRI MOMENT OF TRUTH FOR JETER, YANKS

TORONTO - Of all the Yankee bodies stuffed into an MRI tube, none was as important as when Derek Jeter sliding into a Tampa machine today so the damage to...

PRIME TIME FOR LOTTERY (& KNICKS?)

DENVER - The Knicks figure to be in prime-time during playoff season after all. The NBA announced the lottery has been switched to Thursday, May 22, at 8 p.m. to...

'GAME PLAN' VS. CAMBY: LOTS OF TRASH TALK

KNICK NOTES DENVER - Latrell Sprewell wouldn't guarantee a playoff berth, but did guarantee a night of playful on-court ribbing when the Knicks faced Marcus Camby for the first time...

THORN HAS HIGH HOPES FOR NO. 1 PICK KRSTIC

NET NOTES NEW ORLEANS - If Nenad Krstic, last season's first-round pick, does make next season's roster - and team president Rod Thorn said that is a distinct possibility if...

KIDD: I'M 100% TO STAY :ALL-STAR CLAIMS NETS TOP HIS LIST

NEW ORLEANS - In the past, Jason Kidd has said the Nets are his No. 1 choice after he enters the free-agent market. In the past, Kidd pointed out how...

HATTEN'S FINAL GOAL - CAN CAP ST. JOHN'S CAREER WITH NIT TITLE

Marcus Hatten has set himself apart from other players in different ways over the years. From his potent shooting touch to his daring defense, the St. John's senior has racked...

WALLING THE LATEST AILING METS COACH

MET NOTES They say bad news comes in threes, and that apparently applies to the Mets' coaching staff. Hitting coach Denny Walling became the latest to have a medical problem,...

SYMPATHY FOR CARLOS - BOOMER FEELS FOR BELEAGUERED EX-MATE

YANKEE NOTES TORONTO - David Wells has walked in Carlos Delgado's shoes so he sympathized with his former Blue Jay teammate when Delgado was booed by SkyDome fans Tuesday after...