WHAT’S more important, I ask you? The “Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show” on USA Network, or the fact that Sonya, “The Pet Psychic” from Animal Planet did a reading on the love of my life’s love of his life – Leo the Wonder Dog?
If you answered both, you win.
Let me start with Westminster because, well, for sure you’ll read all the way to the end if I save the psychic reading ’til last. (Don’t lie; you know you’re curious.)
First, let me be perfectly clear, as Nixon used to say. I love Westminster.
Where else can you see pets better groomed than people?
Where else will you find a whole stadium full of dogs so well behaved that not one of ’em sniffs a backside by mistake?
Where else can you find dozens of men in red pants with Scotty embroidery?
And who, I ask you, aside from female murder defendants and confused cross-dressers, who else on earth wears those horrifying shirtwaist dresses?
All this and more is yours next week on USA network when the 126th annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show goes on the air, Monday and Tuesday nights.
This year, however, the whole thing kicks off with a 30-minute special on Sunday night at 7 PM focusing on both the history of the show, and the 159 breeds entered.
You think this is excessive? The freaking Super Bowl is – what? – 43 days long now, what with pre- and post-game shows. “Westminster” is the Super Bowl of dogs, minus Britney Spears.
Between the dogs, the crazy dog people and Joe Garagiola – who knows as much about dogs as I do about extreme skiing – you’ve got terrific TV.
Speaking of terrific pet TV, last week’s The Pet Psychic (Sonya Fitzpatrick) did such impressive ratings for Animal Planet that they’re bringing her back for at least one more special, and possibly her own show. She’s like John Edward for iguanas.
And after my reading review of her show, she had her people call my people (well, me, actually) offering a reading for the male in my life. Well, the other male in my life, Leo the Wonder Dog.
So what did Leo talk to Sonya about?
Food. And more food. Yes, Leo has the unfortunate honor of being the only dog on the planet with a big eating disorder.
“I sure like that cheese a lot,” was the first thing he said. Or rather she said he said. “And chicken. You gave me some over the weekend, and will I be getting anymore?” What buddy, what do you think this is, LeCirque? What’s wrong with Dog Chow?
“And what about some of that cake I stole? Can I get more of that?”
When Leo managed to get his mind off food – which was fleeting – he told the Love Interest how much he appreciated his trading-in the nice Lexus sedan for the SUV, so that he (the dog) could be more comfortable.
The reading brought up issues not just for Leo, but frankly, for me, too. I mean, how can I stay with a man who buys a car for a dog?