It isn’t easy being a kid not when everybody, including your big brother tells you what to do and when to do it. And it’s even harder when the answer to your every “why?” is “because I said so.”
Music isn’t chiefly thought of as an empowerment tool, but sitting on the floor with a record player and a stack of scratchy 45s was where a lot of us former 5-year-olds asserted ourselves for the first time.
What we liked, we played over and over. What we hated well, some of us gave to the cat to play with.
So why not boost your kids’ independence and perhaps spark a lifelong love of music by giving them their own CD boom box and a few discs to spin?
Here are a few hits and misses for kids too young to know they should be popping their gum to the beat of Britney, Mandy and Jessica.
Jason Faulkner’s “BEDTIME WITH THE BEATLES” (Sony) is one of those kids’ albums that has so much artistic integrity and respect for the music, that you know the guy’s not talking down to kids.
In fact, this all-instrumental collection is so good you’ll want to own it even if you don’t have a rugrat to share it with.
While the arrangements are powered by guitar or piano, Faulkner formerly of the rock outfit Jellyfish fattens the sound with soothing synthesized strings and horns that sound lush, not cheesy. Top tunes include “Across the Universe,” “In My Life,” “Here There and Everywhere” and “Blackbird.”
One caveat: A distinct and consistent lullaby tempo may trigger premature naptime. Faulkner doesn’t call it “Bedtime” for nothing. (www.sony.com)
If you’re looking for more of a party-time disc, Ralph Covert’s “RALPH’S WORLD” (Mini Fresh Records) is the one to pick. Ralph’s intent is to set insipid lyrics that kids can sing against string band arrangements that won’t have adults scrambling for earplugs.
Although it often seems as if Ralph got a little too close to the kicking end of a mule, his kiddie tunes do make you smile, at least a little especially his ode to Emily Miller, who has fur on her belly. (Hint: Think feline.)
Also fine is “Four Little Duckies,” which is set to a Bo Diddley beat and teaches kids to from count one to four in French, German, English and Spanish. Ralph swears parents won’t groan when the kids put this on for the 100th time. Clearly, he’s been with too many kids for way too long. (www.minifresh.com)
Our vote for the most bizarre children’s album of all time is Sam Ulano’s “SAM THE DRUMMER TELLS DRUM FAIRY TALES” (Lane CD161).
Ulano, 80, is best known for the more than 2,000 drum instructional books he’s published over the years. And if that’s not enough, he invented the square drum. (Don’t laugh it rocks, but doesn’t roll.)
On this disc he screams out “The Three Little Pigs,” “Tom Thumb” and other fairy tales, all the while drumming out beats to add to the excitement. It’s just weird enough to capture a kid’s imagination; in any event, it’s definitely worth a listen.
By the way, longtime New York Post readers might find the CD cover art somewhat familiar: It was drawn by retired Post political cartoonist Paul Rigby (www.ulano.com).
Also ranking high in the strange department is Paul Austin Kelly’s “HELLO, MICHAEL ROSEN” (Walking Oliver Records) where lite rock, rap and folk all written by Michael Rosen are mixed with klezmer chic.
Featuring cuts like “Little Boy Blues” and “Lubricate the Joints,” it attempts, with little to no success, to explain the ways of the world to kids even as it reminds adults how hard it is being a kid.
This is the kind of disc that will bring your family together if only because the kids will hate it as much as you do (www.pnckelly88aol.com).
Finally, there’s “A CLASSIC TALE: MUSIC FOR OUR CHILDREN” (Deutsche Grammophon), on which none other than Sharon Stone, Cher and Samuel L. Jackson narrate Prokofiev’s “Peter and the Wolf,” Britten’s “The Young Person’s Guide” and Copland’s “Lincoln Portrait,” respectively.
All three pieces performed by the orchestra of St. Luke under the direction of James Levine are great introductions to the power of music.
“Peter and the Wolf” shows how different instruments have different voices and personalities. “A Young Person’s Guide” playfully illustrates the mechanics of the orchestra, while “Lincoln Portrait” is simply one of the most moving pieces of American classical music. In this case, Jackson’s narration of Lincoln’s words matches the grandeur of the score.
All told, this disc’s proof that you’re never too young to love the classics.