THANKS to arbitrator Kenneth Dam, the NBA has an entertaining new tradition. From now on, David Stern plans to begin each season by throwing out the first contract.
Nothing new regarding Joe Smith’s preference; despite the loss of his “Larry Bird Rights” and the Timberwolves’ inability to pay him fair market value, the free-agent forward still wants to remain in Minnesota.
Reality is expected to kick in this afternoon when Smith joins agent Dan Fegan in Los Angeles. Together they’ll decide which of the six situations under consideration makes more sense. Again, in alphabetical odor, the choices have been reduced to the Knicks, Pistons, Pacers, Mavericks, Heat, and Bulls.
“If he’s thinking money, he’s going to choose the Bulls, Detroit or Dallas,” someone close to the situation said. “If he’s looking for long-term and to win, he’s going to take the Knicks, Pacers or the Heat. But it wouldn’t shock me if he decided to take the minimum [$611G] and stay in Minnesota. He’s a different type of kid.”
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WEDNESDAY night’s most creative indoor sign was spotted at the Spurs-Lakers game: “Phil, kiss our asterisk,“ saluted San Antonio’s Baseline Bums. Jackson, as you recall, felt it necessary to demean the Spurs’ championship, claiming it was tainted due to the lockout-shortened season.
Second place went to a pair of Clipper (for want of a better term) fans wearing Gore and Bush masks and carrying the message: “Let’s Settle This At TheFree Throw Line.”
David Robinson, Tim Duncan and Malik Rose received well-deserved props for helping to contain Shaquille O’Neal to 13 field goal tries (13 points) in 44 minutes.
Still, the often impetuous Kobe Bryant also warrants a weighty measure of assistance for not resisting the temptation to hoist up 31 shots. Who does he think he is, Jerry Stackhouse?
Then there’s Shaq’s spirit, or lack thereof, which apparently deserted him shortly after crushing the Clippers for 39 points (22 in the fourth quarter) and covering everybody’s man for the entire 12-minute quadrant.
LA’s limitless apathy can best be summed up by its 3-3 record, two straight road kills in Houston and San Antonio and second-half trips to the welfare line against the Spurs: Nada. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Zip.
“We must play more intelligently,” huffed Shaq, responsible for 10 (missing seven) of his team’s grand total of 11 free throws. If you’re interested, that’s 13 fewer than the Spurs.
Unflustered, undaunted and unrepentant, Jackson contends his team’s slow start was expected. Says he predicted a 5-5 record after 10 games. In fact, Big Chief Triangle actually feels the Lakers’ effort (81-91) against the Spurs was a stirring improvement over their lethargic loss (74-84) to the Rockets.
As usual, Jackson is right. All the major news organizations at first claimed the Lakers had won the game.
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SUBJECT: Isaiah oversleeps, preventing him from being a Rider on the team bus to the Alamodome.
Excusing himself with the claim the hotel had botched his wake-up call, J.R. presented Jackson with a note from the operator.
As it turns out, Rider had a “do not disturb” block on his phone.
Lesson learned by Rider: Never trust a phone that doesn’t come directly out of his trunk.
Reminds me of the time J.R. missed a particular Hawks practice last season; hard to do considering he lived in a hotel immediately adjacent to the arena. His alibi? Hotel employees allegedly had smacked up his car and he needed to fill out insurance forms, take it into the shop, or something along those lines.
As it turns out, J.R. was caught in the act of trying to author a cover story. Surveillance cameras in the hotel parking lot witnessed him vandalizing his own vehicle.
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THIS is Karl Malone’s 16th NBA season with no evidence he’s slowing down offensively (31 in Utah’s 91-87 victory versus the Clippers, including the first eight in OT), or the shard on his shoulder is shrinking.
Any day now, he’s going to surpass mythological Wilt Chamberlain in all-time scoring and be second only to Lord of the Rims, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, as well as cement his celebrity as arguably the greatest power forward in league history.
In all that time, Malone has only missed six games, leading me to wonder out loud, how come the referees have yet to figure out that he initiates contact every single time on double teams.
The guy simply leans into the oncoming defender and then takes a dive, prompting an automatic call in his favor. Pitiful how frequently this occurs and how easily a fresh crew of six trained eyes is fooled.
As the ancient proverb clearly states, “You can lead an official to an offensive foul, but you can’t make him blow the whistle.”
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SUBJECT: Cavaliers off to a 4-0 start, for the first time in 12 years.
It’s official: Randy Wittman is the most beloved person in Cleveland since Art Modell.
Wish I could’ve been in Dallas Wednesday night for convergence of three of the league’s top basketball minds – Mark Cuban, Don Nelson and Dick Versace. I understand John Wooden called, pleading for the minutes of that meeting.
Penny Hardaway was due back in Phoenix yesterday to join the Suns after rehabbing his left knee in Orlando, er, Houston.
In the last four games, Wally Szczerbiak has downed 26 of 38 from the field. The T-Wolves might want to think about allowing him to take a potshot or two at the end of games. Minnesota, having wasted double digit advantages in three games, could be 5-0 vs. 2-3.
“Maybe we’ve got ADD (attention deficit disorder) or something,” Sam Mitchell remarked.
Who would’ve thought the highest office in the free world would hinge on a handful of Floridians who didn’t float into town the night before?
What a novel concept: The winner may not be the side with the higher score. You know what that means? In the spirit of revisionist history, the Paper Clips are the best team ever in the NBA.
I understand that with Anthony Mason now employed by the Heat, Florida officials are also awaiting the outcome of the absent-minded voter as well.
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SUBJECT: Jason Williams back from a five-game suspension for violating his drug aftercare.
After recording 12 assists in 28 minutes of force-free 3-point attempts and blowing out the depressing Warriors, White Chocolate dedicated the win to Darryl Strawberry.
Subject: Patrick Ewing offers kidney to Alonzo Mourning.
No doubt a sincere and touching gesture. For Zo’s sake, however, I just hope Ewing didn’t guarantee it.