The 5-year-old Cuban boy who watched his mother die during a harrowing trip to Florida, needs the stability of his impoverished homeland more than the material comforts of America, experts said.
Little Elian Gonzalez, whose relatives in Miami are resisting his father’s efforts to have the boy returned to Cuba, is experiencing several different forms of trauma — the trauma of witnessing his mother die, the trauma of surviving two days on a raft before being picked up by fishermen, the trauma of being in a foreign land, and the trauma of having relatives battle his father for custody.
“He’s overwhelmed,” said Robert Abramovitz, an expert in children and grief at the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services.
“The best thing for him right now is the stability of familiar people. If he had a good relationship with his father in Cuba, then returning him there would definitely contribute to his well-being.”
Elian’s Miami relatives have resisted, saying that the youngster will have a much better life in America — but experts say stability is more important than nice toys.
“He’s in a strange country and living with relatives who are not that familiar to him,” said Lawrence Balter, professor of child psychology at NYU. “That adds to his feeling of estrangement and loss.”
And the looming custody battle doesn’t help matters. Even at age 5, Elian is well aware of what is going on among the adults in his life — but probably not of the ramifications.
“Children who grow up around people arguing or bickering are much more likely to grow up with anxiety or depression,” said Russell Jones, professor of psychology at Virginia Tech.