The Bleacher Creatures of Yankee Stadium – foul-mouthed, raucous and rabid – are sharpening their tongues for the arrival of Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker.
Don’t worry, there are no organized plans to pelt him with batteries or Yankee bobbin’ heads dolls.
Just the usual ad-hoc taunts and jeers – the stuff a player who so gleefully takes on the role of baseball bad guy should expect.
Here’s some of what the Creatures have planned:
*A little song, which in its most mild parts goes: “John Rocker is a horse’s ass/ He’s the meanest…”
*A taunt taken from big-time pro wrestling that starts: “Two words for you!” then features the crossing of hands into an “X” and an expletive.
*A chant which culminates: “Braves Blow!”
The Creatures can sometimes make up cheers which are not for the ears of children.
But the Creatures say Rocker isn’t a child – just an overgrown baby.
“The Yankees will tame the beast the Mets couldn’t,” Bleacher Creature Tom O’Neil said.
“We will still torment him and his team – but not like the disgruntled Boston fans did to us last week. We use our tongues, not our trash, on the players.”
The Creatures say they’re not impressed with Rocker’s attempts to make nice-nice – his recent comments about how Yankee fans are more clever than Met diehards.
“He thinks his garbage doesn’t stink,” spat a female Bleacher Creature who prefers to go by the name “Mom.”
Yankee fans say they don’t think Rocker’s changed since he flipped the bird at Shea fans during the League Championship Series. They think he’s just trying to keep a lower profile.
It will be hard because, longtime acquaintances say, Rocker’s always been a bit of a hothead.
He was the best player ever at his high school in Macon, Ga., playing center field and batting .400.
His high school coach, Jim Turner, says Rocker got in trouble for throwing his batting helmet when he struck out.
The Braves media guide says he attended Mercer University, but Turner said he never completed a single class.
He went straight to the pros, where he’s paid big bucks to throw a piece of leather a few minutes a night. He’s got a jar of the muscle builder Creatine in his locker and a brown bottle of something called “Ripper Fuel.”
The Creatures are unimpressed with his resume – and doubt he’ll be able to manhandle the Yankees they way he did the Mets for most of the season.
“If he starts mouthing off, then we mouth off louder,” said Creature Mike “Chuck” March.
“I’m not going to get to the point where I throw things. That’s dumb. You get yourself thrown out of the World Series.”