FASHION journalist Susan Kirschbaum thought she’d had a great date.
“After leaving the cafe, I noticed all these guys checking me out,” she recalls. “I was walking with a little strut, thinking, I look good!”
Then she got home and looked in the mirror.
There was chocolate powder – from her cappuccino – all over her nose.
Who hasn’t had nightmares of a food gaffe spoiling an otherwise perfect date?
Just as Manhattanites spend countless pre-date hours picking out clothes and dreaming up witty conversations, figuring out what to eat has become as much of a ritual.
“New Yorkers put a lot of pressure on themselves when dining out on a first date – they feel that the restaurant they pick and what they order is a direct reflection on their personality,” says Manhattan psychologist Elyse Goldstein. “No one wants to leave their date with an image of them looking physically gross.”
“I always take first dates to restaurants with New American or nouvelle cuisine,” proclaims lawyer Jack Cramer, 28. “Steakhouses are too masculine, foreign food too intimidating – and a pricey restaurant can make a woman feel uncomfortable.”
While not every woman would agree with the last sentiment, many would approve of Cramer’s penchant for light fare such as chicken and fish. But they might not go for his other habit: “plenty of martinis – to loosen me up. I find a woman who orders a mixed drink like a martini on a first date incredibly sexy – she’s in control of herself. Women who drink white wine aren’t nearly as interesting.”
Cramer better not get set up with Jen Greene, 26, a New York publicist.
“I once had about three martinis on a date and could barely walk out of the restaurant afterwards,” she recalls. “Now I stick to a couple glasses of wine.”
Jen says she also stays clear of heavily fried, greasy finger foods like calamari. Pasta is another don’t – “it’s hard to look romantic when you’re slurping up linguini with sauce dripping down your chin,” she says.
She should steer clear of law student Adam Taxin, 27.
“I like taking first dates to barbecue joints for ribs,” says Taxin, 27. “You’ve got to eat with your hands and the sauce makes it really sloppy, but it’s a definite icebreaker – you start laughing and losing all self-consciousness.”
Some New Yorkers just nix the dinner thing altogether.
“Dinner’s such a commitment – you’re stuck with someone for two hours,” says publicist Sarah Greenberg. She prefers drinks: “If all goes well at the bar, you can always move on to a restaurant,” she says.
But etiquette expert Jeanne Martinet, author of “The Art of Mingling,” says dining out needn’t be so stressful.
“My only restrictions are avoiding foods you have to eat with your hands and limiting yourself to a couple drinks,” she says. “Other than that, just relax and focus on enjoying yourself.”
And Kirschbaum offers this last bit of advice for first-date diners: “Stay calm, cool, collected and pristine – well, at least while you’re in the restaurant.”