A CHER show is like a Wonder Bra – it looks great, but when you get right down to it, there’s not much there.
The lanky singer hit Madison Square Garden Tuesday to support “Believe,” her most successful musical project in 25 years, a song that’s sold about 9 million copies internationally.
But despite her revived popularity, Cher appeared old, the act was tired and the spectacle sagged. There’s something very wrong with a concert when what the singer wears for the next number becomes more interesting than what the next number is.
The comeback queen opened her event with “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” For that U2 classic, reduced to pop blather by her tongue-wagging alto, Cher donned a bright-red, big-hair wig and an outfit that she described as “‘Braveheart’ meets Bozo the Clown.” She was half right.
She worked her way through four songs and a couple of costume changes (if you count entering from stage left dressed like breakfast-cereal navigator Capt. Crunch – duds that she quickly ditched).
Four songs and all that dancing around sent Cher backstage to recharge her batteries while the sold-out house was left to watch a Cher video covering ancient times, back when she was a young TV starlet.
The video was fast-paced and set to an instrumental version of “The Beat Goes On.” The point of the video, mostly gleaned from her “Sonny & Cher” variety-show days, seemed to be to show that Cher has always had an outrageous fashion sense. OK, but did that really have to be established? The video also wasted valuable time when she could have been singing a classic or two, such as “Needles and Pins” or “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down).”
Cher did venture into classic Cher territory with a medley featuring “Half Breed” and “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.” These very abridged renditions were peaks, moments when she seemed to touch the audience. Still, one had to wonder if the applause and cheers during this 100-minute concert were more about fond memories of Cher on TV and in movies than the reality of the campy, schlock ‘n’ roll performance it was.
The brightest musical moment was her version of “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss),” which was featured in her film “Mermaids.” She was at her most bombastic for “If I Could Turn Back Time,” and her crowd-pleasing powers were at the max for the single encore selection, “Believe.”
During the “Believe” encore, a couple of high-wire acrobats dangled from the rafters by bungee cords and performed a sky ballet to the music. It was an interesting concept, but it took your focus off Cher. It begs the question: Why would a performer allow herself to be upstaged at all?
Maybe that was the point. Perhaps this show was staged with the intent of distracting the fans from noticing things like “Half Breed” being reduced to one verse and a chorus – in that case the distraction arriving in the form of a shapely girl in a G-string and a floor-length Indian war bonnet who circled the stage.
And did anyone notice that the concert, thanks to two lengthy videos highlighting Cher’s TV and movie work, was a little light on music? Did others spot the TelePrompters scattered across the stage to help her remember the words to the few songs she did sing?
In a way, this concert was all smoke and mirrors – from a performer who has placed style above substance for way too long.