Flames, Housedress

Dear Millicent,

I am sitting in a sun dress made for a much larger woman than me.  I call it my housedress, and can tell by Mr. Carla Fran’s lack of gusto for the ensemble that it is indeed a true housedress.  I should also be wearing a shower cap and smoking a cigarrette.  It is brown, smocked, and sagging in the back and under the armpits. I once wore this dress to a wedding (with a cardigan to hide the oversizing, but there is really only so much a cardigan can do).  And I am thinking.

I am thinking about fires.  Los Angeles has an official “Fire Season” and I am wondering when that will become a melodrama on NBC. I am thinking about the unfortunate and logical combination of hot weather and fires.  No air conditioning, and no open windows.  I am thinking about the cold beer I am drinking, and how I tried to play Nintendo earlier, but my hands were too sweaty (could I need Gatorade in my sloth?).  And, I have to admit that I really like hot sweaty days like this.  As a kid, I watched old movies where people had to sleep on their porch or eat watermelon all day because of a heat wave, and thought it was an extinct time: life without air conditioning.  But now, I, too, can langourously moan about the weather and wrap my neck in a wet cloth.  It’s hot, darling.  It’s authentic. Los Angeles, land of dreams.

I am also thinking about camping in New York. I found out today that I have been awarded a scholarship to attend a conference on women and power in New York. But, I will have to camp, and pay for my air fare.  I am a broke-housedress-wearing-sun-of-a-gun, and am chewing on to go or not to go.  I am trembly for a few reasons:

1. While I have a tent, I am only 70% sure that I know how to erect it.
2. The conference looks  great, but…there is a part in Spring Breakdown where the characters are planning their usual vacation to a lady folk music festival, and I love this about those characters…but they are characters…and I am worried I might be a real life character…like I might be a character wearing a certain housedress and drinking cheap beer…
3. I would have to fly on September 11th.  This should not concern me, but it concerns me.
4. And, what do you in your tent if you hear a scary noise, and you are alone?

All of these are non-problems.  But, they are problems.

Also, am considering to start officially wear makeup.  Why? How? I have no idea, but feel like I am at an age where I should know how to do this, and do it well.  I think it comes a little from the Fug Girls constantly saying that actresses need a little lipstick.  I’m looking for suggestions: how does a person who doesn’t maquillage start? What brands/products etc. are good for fatheads like me: nothing grand, nothing heinously toxic, but makeup indeed?

As a last thought to Fire Season:

Hope you’re not out there joining any cults or anything,

CF