Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Dear Alison,
Our big day is fast approaching and the usual pre-wedding jitters are starting to set in, but there���s one thing in particular that I’m really quite nervous about.
You see, my partner is quite an exhibitionist and I usually love indulging in her fantasies but she’s told me she really wants to sneak away during the reception for a quickie in a locked cupboard or cloak room – while all of our family and friends are still partying on the dance floor.
I can’t lie, it’s an exciting prospect.
We’ve certainly explored public sex before but I think this might be a little too risky, as my family doesn’t know about our adventurous romantic life and I’d like to keep it that way.
I would be mortified if anyone walked in on us or if the cat got out of the bag somehow after the fact.
I don’t know what to do. Should I just go with it and see what happens? I just don’t want to disappoint my future wife by saying no to something she really has her heart set on.
Many thanks
Jason
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email platform@metro.co.uk to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear Jason,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and don’t worry, it’s completely normal to have some pre-wedding jitters and yours are especially valid considering your fiancé’s fantasy.
Firstly, I can totally understand your apprehension about sneaking away during the reception and the potential for being discovered by family or friends.
But while there are other ways to keep the excitement alive without risque behaviour – a passionate kiss in a secluded spot, a meaningful touch, or a private moment where you can express your love can be equally thrilling and intimate – I also believe that, as wedding days can be full-on and non-stop for a bride and groom, finding moments to sneak away and enjoy private time together is essential.
It is not unusual for a couple to have time to themselves during certain elements of the day, but the kind of ‘reunion’ your fiancé has in mind will need to be planned carefully.
Choose a time when guests are least likely to notice your absence like later in the evening when most guests have left or are too busy busting moves on the dance floor to notice your absence.
And of course, to ease your own feelings, try to pick a private location like the bride’s toilet (a lot of venues have one specifically to accommodate her larger dress). This can minimise the risk as there will be a lock and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
Above all else, it’s crucial you have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns.
Let your partner know what you are comfortable with and what you are not. This will not only help you understand each other better but also assist in setting mutual boundaries.
It is also completely OK to say no if you feel strongly about not wanting to risk being caught. Your partner should understand and respect your feelings as well.
Perhaps you could also offer another compromise. For example, could you plan a special moment that suits your fiancé’s fantasy for the wedding night or on the honeymoon without the added stress of family and friends around instead?
There is also a chance, in the busyness and joy of it all, that you might decide you don’t want to leave your party any more than you have to do on the big day.
This is completely valid too and you should discuss with your partner that this may be how you feel – and also how they may feel when your wedding comes around.
Ultimately, remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. It should be a day filled with joy, love, and mutual respect – not nerves about being caught in a compromising position and worse still by someone you know!
By communicating openly and finding a compromise that works for both of you, you can ensure that your special day is memorable for all the right reasons.
It is essential that both of you feel comfortable and happy with all the decisions you make. Wishing you a memorable and happy wedding day!
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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