Skip to main content
Log in

Where Did You Go? The Psychological and Physiological Consequences of Ghosting in Romantic Relationships

  • Original Article
  • Published:
Sexuality & Culture Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

Understanding the prevalence of breakups and the manner in which they occur can provide valuable insights into the dynamics of romantic relationships. The manner in which people choose to end relationships has evolved, with a growing number opting for a phenomenon known as ghosting, which is a dissolution strategy in which one partner abruptly ceases all communication to terminate the relationship. The goal of this study is to investigate the psychological and physiological consequences of ghosting. Data comes from two studies: one examining the psychological consequences of ghosting (N��= 30) and another examining the physiological consequences of ghosting (N = 40). Results of study 1 revealed that participants reported significantly higher anxiety and lower self-esteem as a result of the ghosting experiment. Results of study 2 revealed that heart rate significantly decreased after the ghosting experiment while blood pressure increased. Additionally, compared to the control group, those who were ghosted reported higher heart rate and higher blood pressure, but no differences in cortisol. Preliminary data suggests that ghosting hinders psychological and physiological wellbeing. Additional implications are discussed.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Subscribe and save

Springer+ Basic
$34.99 /Month
  • Get 10 units per month
  • Download Article/Chapter or eBook
  • 1 Unit = 1 Article or 1 Chapter
  • Cancel anytime
Subscribe now

Buy Now

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Fig. 1

Similar content being viewed by others

Data availability

Data and study materials are made available upon request.

References

  • Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Boals, A. (2014). Using event centrality to predict depressive symptoms after a romantic conflict: A prospective design. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 28(2), 259–265. https://doi.org/10.1002/acp.2996.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Carter, K. R., Knox, D., & Hall, S. S. (2018). Romantic breakup: Difficult loss for some but not for others. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 23(8), 698–714. https://doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2018.1502523.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Collins, T. J., Thomas, A., & Harris, E. (2023). Unwanted and unfollowed: Defining ghosting and the role of social media unfollowing. Personal Relationships, 30(3), 939–959. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12492.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Doering, J. (2010). Face, accounts, and schemes in the context of relationship breakups. Symbolic Interaction, 33(1), 71–95. https://doi.org/10.1525/si.2010.33.1.71.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Field, T., Diego, M., Pelaez, M., Deeds, O., & Delgado, J. (2011). Breakup distress in university students: A review. College Student Journal, 45(3), 461–480.

    Google Scholar 

  • Förster, J., Grant, H., Idson, L. C., & Higgins, E. T. (2001). Success/failure feedback, expectancies, and approach/avoidance motivation: How regulatory focus moderates classic relations. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 37(3), 253–260. https://doi.org/10.1006/jesp.2000.1455.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Frampton, J. R., & Fox, J. (2018). Social media’s role in romantic partners’ retroactive jealousy: Social comparison, uncertainty, and information seeking. Social Media + Society, 4(3). https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305118800317.

  • Frazier, P., & Hurliman, L. (2001). Post-traumatic stress disorder following low and high magnitude events, unpublished manuscript. University of Minnesota

  • Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2019). Ghosting and destiny: Implicit theories of relationships predict beliefs about ghosting. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 905–924. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517748791.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2022). Emotional experiences of ghosting. The Journal of Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224545.2022.2081528.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, S. P., & Sifers, S. K. (2011). Bouncing back from a breakup: Attachment, time perspective, mental health, and romantic loss. Journal of College Student Psychotherapy, 25(4), 295–310. https://doi.org/10.1080/87568225.2011.605693.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gomes, J. A., & Gomes, J. A. (2021). The Broken Heart. Rhythms of Broken Hearts: History, Manifestations, and Treatment of Heart Rhythm Disorders and Heart Disease, 161–165.

  • Hakala, K. (2015, April). The most common way to break up is probably not what you think. Mic.com. Retrieved from https://www.mic.com/articles/115210/the-most-common-way-we-break-up-is-probably-not-what-you-think.

  • Halamish, V., Liberman, N., Higgins, E. T., & Idson, L. C. (2008). Regulatory focus effects on discounting over uncertainty for losses vs gains. Journal of Economic Psychology, 29(5), 654–666. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joep.2007.09.002.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Harvey, A. B., & Karpinski, A. (2016). The impact of social constraints on adjustment following a romantic breakup. Personal Relationships, 23(3), 396–408. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12132.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hawley, A. R., Mahoney, A., Pargament, K. I., & Gordon, A. K. (2015). Sexuality and spirituality as predictors of distress over a romantic breakup: Mediated and moderated pathways. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 2(2), 145–159. https://doi.org/10.1037/scp0000034.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Higgins, E. T. (1997). Beyond pleasure and pain. American Psychologist, 52(12), 1280–1300. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.52.12.1280.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Higgins, E. T., Friedman, R. S., Harlow, R. E., Idson, L. C., Ayduk, O. N., & Taylor, A. (2001). Achievement orientations from subjective histories of success: Promotion pride versus prevention pride. European Journal of Social Psychology, 31(1), 3–23. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.27.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Joel, S., Plaks, J. E., & MacDonald, G. (2019). Nothing ventured, nothing gained: People anticipate more regret from missed romantic opportunities than from rejection. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(1), 305–336. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517729567.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Jonason, P. K., Kaźmierczak, I., Campos, A. C., & Davis, M. D. (2021). Leaving without a word: Ghosting and the Dark Triad traits. Acta Psychologica, 220, 103425.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Koessler, R. B., Kohut, T., & Campbell, L. (2019). When your boo becomes a ghost: The association between breakup strategy and breakup role in experiences of relationship dissolution. Collabra: Psychology, 5(1). https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.230.

  • LeFebvre, L. E., Allen, M., Rasner, R. D., Garstad, S., Wilms, A., & Parrish, C. (2019). Ghosting in emerging adults’ romantic relationships: The digital dissolution disappearance strategy. Imagination Cognition and Personality, 39(2), 125–150.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lewinsohn, P. M., Rohde, P., & Seeley, J. R. (1998). Major depressive disorder in older adolescents: Prevalence, risk factors, and clinical implications. Clinical Psychology Review, 18(7), 765–794.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lovibond, P. F., & Lovibond, S. H. (1995). The structure of negative emotional states: Comparison of the Depression anxiety stress scales (DASS) with the Beck Depression and anxiety inventories. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 33(3), 335–343. https://doi.org/10.1016/0005-7967(94)00075-U.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Manning, J., Denker, K. J., & Johnson, R. (2019). Justifications for ‘ghosting out’ of developing or ongoing romantic relationships: Anxieties regarding digitally-mediated romantic interaction. In It Happened on Tinder (Eds. Amir Hetsroni and Meric Tuncez). The Institute of Network Cultures.

  • Marshall, T. C. (2012). Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: Associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth. Cyberpsychology Behavior and Social Networking, 15(10), 521–526. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2012.0125.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • McDaniel, B. T., Drouin, M., Dibble, J., Galovan, A. M., & Merritt, M. (2021). Are you going to delete me? Latent profiles of post-relationship breakup social media use and emotional distress. Cyberpsychology Behavior and Social Networking, 24(7), 464–472. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2020.0714.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Metts, S., & Mikucki, S. L. (2008). The emotional landscape of romantic relationship initiation. In S. Sprecher, A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 353–371). Psychology.

  • Miller, R. S. (2018). Intimate relationships (7th ed.). McGraw Hill.

  • Monroe, S. M., Rohde, P., Seeley, J. R., & Lewinsohn, P. M. (1999). Life events and depression in adolescence: Relationship loss as a prospective risk factor for first onset of major depressive disorder. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 108(4), 606–614. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.108.4.606.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Murray, S. L., Bellavia, G. M., Rose, P., & Griffin, D. W. (2003). Once hurt, twice hurtful: How perceived regard regulates daily marital interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(1), 126–147. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.1.126.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Navarro, R., Larrañaga, E., Yubero, S., & Víllora, B. (2021). Individual, interpersonal and relationship factors associated with ghosting intention and behaviors in adult relationships: Examining the associations over and above being a recipient of ghosting. Telematics and Informatics, 57, 101513. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tele.2020.101513.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Park, L. E., Sanchez, D. T., & Brynildsen, K. (2011). Maladaptive responses to relationship dissolution: The role of relationship contingent self-worth. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 41(7), 1749–1773. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1559-1816.2011.00769.x.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rhoades, G. K., Dush, K., Atkins, C. M., Stanley, D. C., S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(3), 366.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rosenberg, M. (1965). Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (RSES) [Database record]. APA PsycTests.

  • Rosenfeld, M. J. (2018). Who wants the breakup? Gender and breakup in heterosexual couples. In D. F. Alwin, D. H. Felmlee, & D. A. Kreager (Eds.), Social networks and the life course: Integrating the development of human lives and social relational networks (Vol. 2, pp. 221–243). Springer International Publishing/Springer Nature. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-71544-5_11.

  • Shah, J., & Higgins, E. T. (1997). Expectancy × value effects: Regulatory focus as determinant of magnitude and direction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(3), 447–458. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.73.3.447.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Smart-Richman, L., & Leary, M. R. (2009). Reactions to discrimination, stigmatization, ostracism, and other forms of interpersonal rejection: A multimotive model. Psychological Review, 116(2), 365.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., Joel, S., & Impett, E. A. (2016). Longing for ex-partners out of fear of being single. Journal of Personality, 84(6), 799–808. https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12222.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tashiro, T., & Frazier, P. (2003). I’ll never be in a relationship like that again: Personal growth following romantic relationship breakups. Personal Relationships, 10(1), 113–128. https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6811.00039.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Vennum, A., Hardy, N., Sibley, D. S., & Fincham, F. D. (2015). Dedication and sliding in emerging adult cyclical and non-cyclical romantic relationships. Family Relations, 64(3), 407–419.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Verhallen, A., Renken, R., Marsman, J., & ter Horst, G. J. (2019). Romantic relationship breakup: An experimental model to study effects of stress on depression(-like) symptoms. PLoS One, 31(5), e0217320. https://doi.org/journal.pone.0217320.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Watamura, S. E., Donzella, B., Alwin, J., & Gunnar, M. R. (2003). Morning-to‐afternoon increases in cortisol concentrations for infants and toddlers at childcare: Age differences and behavioral correlates. Child Development, 74(4), 1006–1020.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wesselmann, E. D., Wirth, J. H., & Bernstein, M. J. (2017). Expectations of social inclusion and exclusion. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 112–112. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00112.

    Article  Google Scholar 

Download references

Acknowledgements

We would like to acknowledge Taylor Soloway, Hannah Grace Lee, Jordyn Brazer, Rachel Consiglio, Nicole Fitzgerald, and Blake Whitson for their help with data collection.

Funding

This research received grant support from the Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program from Florida State University.

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Michael Langlais.

Ethics declarations

Competing interest

The authors have no competing interests to declare that are relevant to the content of this article.

Consent for participation

This study was approved by the Institutional Review Board at Florida State University and all participants provided electronic consent for participation in this study.

Additional information

Publisher’s Note

Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

Rights and permissions

Springer Nature or its licensor (e.g. a society or other partner) holds exclusive rights to this article under a publishing agreement with the author(s) or other rightsholder(s); author self-archiving of the accepted manuscript version of this article is solely governed by the terms of such publishing agreement and applicable law.

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Check for updates. Verify currency and authenticity via CrossMark

Cite this article

Langlais, M., Citrano, E., Rentería, L. et al. Where Did You Go? The Psychological and Physiological Consequences of Ghosting in Romantic Relationships. Sexuality & Culture (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10224-0

Download citation

  • Accepted:

  • Published:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10224-0

Keywords

Navigation