Abstract
The need for interpersonal connection is a fundamental human motivation. Attachment theory has been lauded as one of the broadest, most coherent, well-known, and empirically grounded frameworks in the contemporary study of human development and relational functioning. Attachment styles are hypothesized to develop based on early childhood experiences with caregivers and remain relatively consistent into adulthood, with long-term implications for well-being. Mediators between attachment and well-being have been explored as potential points of intervention, with self-compassion indicated as a potentially key pathway through which attachment relates to mental health. This chapter outlines the key tenets of self-compassion and attachment theory, and we use a cultural lens to conceptualize attachment and trace associations between self-compassion and attachment across the lifespan. We begin with childhood and describe the impact of adverse childhood experiences as well as the role of parents in children’s development of attachment styles and self-compassion. Next, we move to the role of peer relationships in adolescence. Finally, we explore the link between attachment styles and self-compassion throughout young adulthood, adulthood, and older adulthood, with additional information about the impact of trauma in adulthood. This chapter concludes with a presentation of clinical interventions aimed at increasing secure attachment and self-compassion, including priming interventions and attachment-based compassion therapy.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1967). Infancy in Uganda: Infant care and the growth of love. Johns Hopkins.
Arambasic, J., Sherman, K. A., & Elder, E. (2019). Attachment styles, self-compassion, and psychological adjustment in long-term breast cancer survivors. Psycho-Oncology, 28, 1134–1141. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.5068
Arimitsu, K., & Hofmann, S. G. (2017). Effects of compassionate thinking on negative emotions. Cognition & Emotions, 31, 160–167. https://doi.org/10.1080/026999931.2015.1078292
Baldwin, S., Bandarian-Balooch, S., & Adams, R. (2019). Attachment and compassion-threat: Influence of a secure attachment-prime. Psychology and Psychotherapy-Theory Research and Practice, 193, 520–536. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12244
Barlow, R., Goldsmith Turow, R. E., & Gerhart, J. (2017). Neglect, trauma appraisals, emotion regulation difficulties, and self-compassion predict posttraumatic stress symptoms following childhood abuse. Child Abuse & Neglect, 65, 37–47. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2017.01.006
Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 226–244. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.5068
Beduna, K. N., & Perrone-McGovern, K. M. (2019). Recalled childhood bullying victimization and shame in adulthood: The influence of attachment security, self-compassion, and emotion regulation. Traumatology, 25, 21–32. https://doi.org/10.1037/trm0000162
Bistricky, S. L., Gallagher, M. W., Roberts, C. M., Ferris, L., Gonzalez, A. J., & Wetterneck, C. T. (2017). Frequency of interpersonal trauma types, avoidant attachment, self-compassion, and interpersonal competence: A model of persisting posttraumatic symptoms. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 26(6), 608–625. https://doi.org/10.1080/10926771.2017.1322657
Bodner, E., & Cohen-Fridel, S. (2010). Relations between attachment styles, ageism and quality of life in late life. International Psychogeriatrics, 22, 1353–1361. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610210001249
Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). Attachment and loss (Vol. 1. Attachment). Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and loss, Vol. 2: Separation. Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1979). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. Tavistock.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Boyraz, G., Ferguson, A. N., Zaken, M. D., Baptiste, B. L., & Kassin, C. (2019). Do dialectical self-beliefs moderate the indirect effect of betrayal traumas on posttraumatic stress through self-compassion? Child Abuse & Neglect, 96. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2019.104075
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497
Carr, S., & Batelle, I. O. (2015). Attachment theory, neoliberalism, and social conscience Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical. Psychology, 35, 160–176. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038681
Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P. R. (Eds.). (2008). Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
Cassidy, J., & Shaver, Ph. R. (2016). Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications (3rd ed). New York: The Guilford Press.
Cecero, J. J., Nelson, J. D., & Gillie, J. M. (2004). Tools and tenets of schema therapy: Toward the construct validity of the Early Maladaptive Schema Questionnaire-Research Version (EMSQ-R). Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 11, 344–357. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.401
Coatsworth, J. D., Duncan, L. G., Greenberg, M. T., & Nix, R. L. (2010). Changing parent’s mindfulness, child management skills and relationship quality with their youth: Results from a randomized pilot intervention trial. Journal of Family Studies, 19(2), 203–217. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-009-9304-8
DePrince, A. P., Chu, A. T., & Pineda, A. S. (2011). Links between specific posttraumatic appraisals and three forms of trauma-related distress. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 3, 430–441. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021576Diedrich
Duncan, L., Coatsworth, J. D., & Greenberg, M. (2009). A model of mindful parenting: Implications for parent child relationships and prevention research. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 12(3), 255–270. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-009-0046-3
Edelstein, R. S., Alexander, K. W., Shaver, P. R., Schaaf, J. M., Quas, J. A., Lovas, G. S., & Goodman, G. S. (2004). Adult attachment style and parental responsiveness during a stressful event. Attachment & Human Development, 6(1), 31–52. https://doi.org/10.1080/146167303100001659584
Ein-Dor, T., Reizer, A., Shaver, P. R., & Dotan, E. (2012). Standoffish perhaps, but successful as well: Evidence that avoidant attachment can be beneficial in professional tennis and computer science. Journal of Personality, 80, 749–768. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2011.00747.x
Finlay-Jones, A. L., Rees, C. S., & Kane, R. T. (2015). Self-compassion, emotion regulation and stress among Australian psychologists: Testing an emotion regulation model of self-compassion using structural equation modeling. PLoS One, 10, e0133481. https://doi.org/10.1037/journal.pone.0133481
Garcia-Campayo, J. & Demarzo, M. (2015). Mindfulness y Compasion: la nueva revolucion. Madrid: Singlatana.
García-Campayo, J., Cebolla, A., & Demarzo, M. M. (2016a). La ciencia de la compasión: más allá del mindfulness. Alianza Editorial.
García-Campayo, J., Navarro-Gil, M., & Demarzo, M. (2016b). Attachment-based compassion therapy. Mindfulness & Compassion, 2, 68–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mincom.2016.10.004
Germer, C. K., & Neff, K. D. (2015). Cultivating self-compassion in trauma survivors. In V. M. Follette, J. Briere, D. Rozelle, J. W. Hopper, & D. I. Rome (Eds). Mindfulness-oriented interventions for trauma: Integrating contemplative practices (pp. 43-58). The Guilford Press.
Gilbert, P. (2005). Compassion and cruelty: A biopsychosocial approach. In P. Gilbert (Ed.), Conceptualizations, research and use in psychotherapy (pp. 9–74). Routledge.
Gilbert, P. (2007). Psychotherapy and counselling for depression (3rd ed.). Sage.
Gilbert, P., & Proctor, S. (2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: Overview and pilot study. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 13, 353–379. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.507
Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion focused therapy: Distinctive features. Routledge.
Gilbert, P., McEwan, K., Matos, M., & Rivis, A. (2011). Fears of compassion: Development of three self-report measures. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 84, 239–255. https://doi.org/10.1348/147608310X526511
Gillath, Oh. Shaver, P. R., & Mikulincer, M. (2005). An attachment-theoretical approach to compassion and altruism. In P. Gilbert (Ed.), Compassion: Its nature and use in psychotherapy (pp. 121–147). London: Brunner-Routledge.
Gillath, O., Johnson, D. K., Selcuk, E., & Teel, C. (2011). Comparing old and young adults as they cope with life transitions: The links between social network management skills and attachment style to depression. Clinical Gerontologist, 34, 251–265. https://doi.org/10.1080/07317115.2011.554345
Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2, 271–299.
Hofmann, S. G., Grossman, P., & Hinton, D. E. (2011). Loving-kindness and compassion meditation: Potential for psychological interventions. Clinical Psychology Review, 31, 1126–1132.
Homan, K. (2018). Secure attachment and eudaimonic well-being in late adulthood: The mediating role of self-compassion. Aging & Mental Health, 22(3), 363–370. https://doi.org/10.1080/13607863.2016.1254597
Játiva, R., & Cerezo, M. A. (2014). The mediating role of self-compassion in the relationship between victimization and psychological maladjustment in a sample of adolescents. Child Abuse & Neglect, 38, 1180–1190. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2014.04.005
Jiang, Y., You, J., Zheng, X., & Lin, M. (2017). The qualities of attachment with significant others and self-compassion protect adolescents from non-suicidal self-injury. School Psychology Quarterly, 32(2), 143–155. https://doi.org/10.1037/spq0000187
Joeng, J. R., Turner, S. L., Kim, E. Y., Choi, S. A., Lee, Y. J., & Kim, J. K. (2017). Insecure attachment and emotional distress: Fear of self-compassion and self-compassion as mediators. Personality and Individual Differences, 112, 6–11. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.02.048
Joeng, J. R., & Turner, S. L. (2015). Mediators between self-criticism and depression: Fear of compassion, self-compassion, and importance to others. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 453–463. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000071
Jones, J. D., Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P. R. (2015). Adult attachment style and parenting. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment theory and research: New directions and emerging themes (pp. 234-260). The Guilford Press.
Kabat-Zinn, J., & Kabat-Zinn, M. (1997). Everyday blessings: The inner working of mindful parenting. Hyperion.
Kelly, A. C., & Dupasquier, J. (2016). Social safeness mediates the relationship between recalled parental warmth and the capacity for self-compassion and receiving compassion. Personality and Individual Differences, 89, 157–161. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.10.017
Lapsley, D. K., FitzGerald, D., Rice, K., & Jackson, S. (1989). Separation-individuation and the “new look” at the imaginary audience and personal fable: A test of an integrative model. Journal of Adolescent Research, 4, 483–505. https://doi.org/10.1177/074355488944006
Lopez, F. G., Ramon, K., & Kim, M. (2018). Development and initial validation of a measure of attachment security in late adulthood. Psychological Assessment, 30(9), 1214–1225. https://doi.org/10.1037/pas0000568
Love, K. M., & Murdock, T. B. (2004). Attachment to parents and psychological well-being: An examination of young adult college students in intact families and stepfamilies. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(4), 60–608. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.18.4.600
Mackintosh, K., Power, K., Schwannauer, M., & Chan, S. W. Y. (2017). The relationships between self-compassion, attachment and interpersonal problems in clinical patients with mixed anxiety and depression and emotional distress. Mindfulness, 9(3), 961–971. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-017-0835-6
McWilliams, L. A., & Bailey, S. J. (2010). Associations between adult attachment ratings and health conditions: Evidence from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Health Psychology, 29, 446–453. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0020061
Medeiros, C., Gouveia, M. J., Canvavarro, M. C., & Moreira, H. (2016). The indirect effect of the mindful parenting of mothers and fathers on the child’s perceived well-being through the child’s attachment to parents. Mindfulness, 7, 916–927. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0530-z
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2003a). The attachment behavioral system in adulthood: Activation, psychodynamics, and interpersonal processes. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in experimental and social psychology (Vol. 35, pp. 53–152). Academic Press.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2003b). Attachment theory and affect regulation: The dynamics, development, and cognitive consequences of attachment-related strategies. Motivation and Emotion, 27, 77–102. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1024515519160
Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R., Gillath, O., & Nitzberg, R. A. (2005). Attachment, caregiving, and altruism: Boosting attachment security increases compassion and helping. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(5), 817–839. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.89.5.817
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007a). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guildford.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007b). Boosting attachment security to promote mental health, prosocial values, and inter-group tolerance. Psychological Inquiry, 18, 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1080/10478400701512646
Mirecki, R. M., & Chou, J. L. (2013). A multicultural application of attachment theory with immigrant families: Contextual and developmental applications. Contemporary Family Therapy, 35, 508–515. https://10.1007/s10591-012-9210-x
Monin, J. K., Zhou, L., & Kershaw, T. (2014). Attachment and psychological health in older couples coping with pain. GeroPsych, 27, 115–127. https://doi.org/10.1024/1662-9647/a000110
Montero-Marin, J., Navarro-Gil, M., Puebla-Guedea, M., Luciano, J. V., Van Gordon, W., Shonin, E., & Garcia-Campayo, J. (2018). Efficacy of ‘Attachment-Based Compassion Therapy’ (ABCT) in the treatment of fibromyalgia: A randomized controlled trial. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 8, Article 307. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00307
Moreira, H., Carona, C., Silva, N., Nunes, J., & Canavarro, M. C. (2016). Exploring the link between maternal attachment-related anxiety and avoidance and mindful parenting: The mediating role of self-compassion. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 89, 369–384. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12082
Moreira, H., Gouveia, M. J., & Canavarro, M. C. (2018). Is mindful parenting associated with adolescents’ well-being in early and middle/late adolescence? The mediating role of adolescents’ attachment representations, self-compassion. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 47, 1771–1788. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-018-0808-7
Moreira, H., Gouveia, M. J., Carona, C., Silva, N., & Canavarro, M. C. (2015). Maternal attachment and children’s quality of life: The mediating role of self-compassion and parenting. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 24, 2332–2344. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-014-0036-z
Navarro-Gil, M., Lopez-del-Hoyo, Y., Modrego-Alarcon, M., Montero-Marin, J., Van Gordon, W., Shonin, E., & Garcia-Campayho, J. (2018). Effects of attachment-based compassion therapy (ABCT) on self-compassion and attachment style in healthy people. Mindfulness, 11, 51–62. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-018-0896-1
Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2, 223–250. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309027
Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and its link to adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139–154. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2006.03.004
Neff, K. D. (2009). Self-Compassion. In M. R. Leary & R. H. Hoyle (Eds.), Handbook of Individual Differences in Social Behavior (pp. 561–573). Guilford Press.
Neff, K. D., & McGehee, P. (2010). Self-compassion and psychological resilience among adolescents and young adults. Self and Identity, 9(3), 225–240. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860902979307
Øverup, C. S., Mclean, E. A., Brunson, J. A., & Coffman, A. D. (2017). Belonging, burdensomeness, and selfcompassion as mediators of the association between attachment and depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 36, 675–703. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2017.36.8.675
Pepping, C. A., Davis, P. J., O'Donovan, A., & Pal, J. (2015). Individual differences in self-compassion: The role of attachment and experiences of parenting in childhood. Self and Identity, 14(1), 104–117. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2014.955050
Peter, D., & Gazelle, H. (2017). Anxious solitude and self-compassion and self-criticism trajectories in early adolescence: Attachment security as a moderator. Child Development, 88(6), 1834–1848. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12926
Pinto-Gouveia, J., Duarte, C., Matos, M., & Fráguas, S. (2014). The protective role of self-compassion in relation to psychopathology symptoms and quality of life in chronic and in cancer patients. Clinical Psychology Psychotherapy, 21(4), 311–323. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.1838
Przezdziecki, A., Sherman, K. A., Baillie, A., Taylor, A., Foley, E., & Stalgis-Bilinski, K. (2013). My changed body: Breast cancer, body image, distress and self-compassion. Psychooncology, 22(8), 1872–1879. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.3230
Raque-Bogdan, T. L., Ericson, S. K., Jackson, J., Martin, H. M., & Bryan, N. A. (2011). Attachment and mental and physical health: Self-compassion and mattering as mediators. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(2), 272–278. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023041
Rholes, W. S., Simpson, J. A., & Blakely, B. S. (1995). Adult attachment styles and mothers' relationships with their young children. Personal Relationships, 2(1), 35–54. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x
Rholes, W. S., Simpson, J. A., Blakely, B. S., Lanigan, L., & Allen, E. A. (1997). Adult attachment styles, the desire to have children, and working models of parenthood. Journal of Personality, 65(2), 357–385.
Rholes, W. S., Simpson, J. A., & Friedman, M. (2006). Avoidant attachment and the experience of parenting. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 275–285. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.1997.tb00958.x
Rowe, A. C., Shepstone, L., Carnelley, K. B., Cavanagh, K., & Millings, A. (2016). Attachment security and self-compassion priming increase the likelihood that first-time engagers in mindfulness meditation will continue with mindfulness training. Mindfulness, 7(3), 642–650. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0499-7
Shaver, P. R., & Fraley, R. C. (2008). Attachment, loss, and grief: Bowlby’s views and current controversies. In J. Cassidy & P. R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications (2nd ed., pp. 48–77). Guilford Press.
Shaver, P. R., Mikulincer, M., Sahdra, B., & Gross, J. (2017). Attachment security as a foundation for kindness toward self and others. In K. W. Brown & M. R. Leary (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of hypo-egoic phenomena. Oxford University Press.
Sheller, S. L., Hudson, K. M., Bloch, J. R., Biddle, B., Ewing, E. S. K., & Slaughter-Acey, J. C. (2018). Family Care Curriculum: A Parenting Support Program for Families Experiencing Homelessness. Maternal and Child Health Journal, 22, 1247–1254. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10995-018-2561-7
Sherman, K., Woon, S., French, J., & Elder, E. (2017). Body image and psychological distress in nipple-sparing mastectomy: The roles of self-compassion and appearance investment. Psychooncology, 26(3), 337–345. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4138
Simard, V., Moss, E., & Pascuzzo, K. (2011). Early maladaptive schemas and child and adult attachment: A 15-year longitudinal study. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 84, 349–366. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8341.2010.02009.x
Soffer, N., Gilboa-Schechtman, E., & Shahar, G. (2008). The relationship of childhood emotional abuse and neglect to depressive vulnerability and low self-efficacy. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 1, 151–162. https://doi.org/10.1521/ijct.2008.1.2.151
Stern, J. A., Barbarin, O., & Cassidy, J. (2021). Attachment perspectives on race, prejudice, and anti-racism. Attachment and Human Development. Ahead of print, 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2021.1976920
Terry, M. L., & Leary, M. R. (2011). Self-compassion, self-regulation, and health. Self and Identity, 10(3), 352–362. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2011.558404
Thimm, J. C. (2017). Relationships between early maladaptive schemas, mindfulness, self-compassion, and psychological distress. International Journal of Psychology & Psychological Therapy, 17, 1–15. https://www.proquest.com/docview/1878050811/citation/71C8C4D5F3A94929PQ/1?accountid=10382
Vettese, L. C., Dyer, C. E., Li, W. L., & Wekerle, C. (2011). Does self-compassion mitigate the association between childhood maltreatment and later emotion regulation difficulties? A preliminary investigation. International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, 9(5), 48–491. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2011.558404
Walden, L. M., & Beran, T. N. (2010). Attachment quality and bullying behavior in school-aged youth. Canadian Journal of School Psychology, 25, 5–18. https://doi.org/10.1177/0829573509357046
Wei, M., Liao, K. Y., Ku, T., & Shaffer, P. A. (2011). Attachment, self-compassion, empathy, and subjective well-being among college students and community adults. Journal of Personality, 79, 191–221. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00677.x
Wu, Q., Chi, P., Lin, X., & Du, H. (2018). Child maltreatment and adult depressive symptoms: Roles of self-compassion and gratitude. Child Abuse & Neglect, 80, 62–69. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2018.03.013
Zeller, M., Yuval, K., Nitzan-Assayag, Y., & Bernstein, A. (2015). Self-compassion in recovery following potentially traumatic stress: Longitudinal study of at-risk youth. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 43, 645–653. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-014-9937-y
Zessin, U., Dickhauser, O., & Garbade, S. (2015). The relationship between self-compassion and well-being: A meta-analysis. Health and Well-Being, 7, 340–364. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12051
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Editor information
Editors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2023 Springer Nature Switzerland AG
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Raque, T.L., Ziemer, K., Jackson, J. (2023). Attachment and Self-Compassion: Associations Across the Lifespan. In: Finlay-Jones, A., Bluth, K., Neff, K. (eds) Handbook of Self-Compassion. Mindfulness in Behavioral Health. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_5
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_5
Published:
Publisher Name: Springer, Cham
Print ISBN: 978-3-031-22347-1
Online ISBN: 978-3-031-22348-8
eBook Packages: Behavioral Science and PsychologyBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)