[Intro]
(Sue guggles)

[Verse 1]
Finally arrived at the Cali pier
First day of my honeymoon
Oh dear
Walked around the beach full of shirtless men
Couldn't keep my eyes off sweet Helen
Went for a walk cause I had to pee
Didn't know she was after me
Walk into the stall and I hear a knock
Open up the door saw her huge
What?

[Pre-Chorus]
Just touched her balls
Can't feel my jaw (I cannot feel my jaw)
Fondled her breasts (I love her sweet breasts)
Give it a rest
I should give myself a rest
I should give myself a rest
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here, fuck me it's fine

[Chorus]
Yes I know she's not my man
But can't I have a one night stand?
I only see her to have sex
Who cares about my pet T. rex?
Oh yes I know she's not my man
But can't I have a one night stand?
I only see her to have sex
Don't know what will happen next

[Verse 2]
Now I'm walking out the bathroom with wet hands
I should tell my man, but damn
All I told him was I had to pee
But I never said where or in whose jeans
Invite me to your room with the piss covered floor
You pull out something special from your drawer
I'm sure I've seen much bigger melons
But nothing compares to Helen's

[Pre-Chorus]
Just touched her balls
Can't feel my jaw (I cannot feel my jaw)
Fondled her breasts (I love her sweet breasts)
Give it a rest
I should give myself a rest
I should give myself a rest
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here, in the bathroom on the pier
Seeing you here
Fuck me it's fine

[Chorus]
Yes I know she's not my man
But can't I have a one night stand?
I only see her to have sex
Who cares about my pet T. rex?
Oh yes I know she's not my man
But can't I have a one night stand
I only see her to have sex
Don't know what will happen next

[Breakdown]
Oh yes I know she's not my man
Can't I have a one night stand?
(Sue mouth guitar)
Who cares about my pet T.rex?
I don't know what will happen next
Just touched her balls
Can't feel my jaw
Who cares about my pet T. rex?
Just touched her balls
Can't feel my jaw
I don't know what will happen next
Balls
Breast
Balls
Breast

[Outro]
Oh Helen