Faire face à un défenseur performant dans votre équipe. Comment pouvez-vous briser leur résistance aux commentaires ?

Psychological safety is critical to providing feedback to a high performer. 1. What is the relationship you’ve developed with them? 2. Are you modeling the same ability to take feedback? Meaning do you allow your direct reports to share their opinions - even when they differ from you? It’s difficult to expect them to model behavior you don’t. 3. Do you only give feedback when it’s there’s a problem? If so, it’s important to give praise too so when there is an issue a history of support and praise is evident.

Trust, respect, tone, place and timing are very important when giving feedback. In this particular scenario, I'd add using a coaching approach. A high performer takes pride in his/her work and may sometimes have blind spots. Approaching the feedback using constructive questions like you'd do in a coaching session gives the person the opportunity to self-reflect and unravel the issues by themselves instead of being told directly. It's often a lightbulb experience that leads to taking ownership of righting wrongs. At the end, it is a win-win.

Who says high performers are resistant to feedback? In an environment where the bar is set high, coupled with genuine leadership and respect, high performers will naturally seek out feedback. When everyone is operating at their peak, they are motivated to maintain the organization's high standards. The key to sustaining this excellence is teamwork and consistently striving for the best within the organizational framework.

High-performers may resist feedback if they feel it threatens their self-image or status, so it is essential to create a safe environment where feedback is viewed positively. Positive feedback should be given openly, while negative feedback is best delivered behind closed doors to maintain trust and respect. When providing feedback, avoid generalized comments; instead, offer specific examples of incidences that need improvement. Frame feedback in a positive light by highlighting the potential growth and benefits of implementing it. Since high-performers often believe their work is nearly flawless, acknowledge the 95% of their work that is excellent and commend their strengths before addressing the 5% where there is room for improvement.

Dealing with a defensive high performer requires a thoughtful approach to breaking through their resistance to feedback. Are you leading with your empathy foot forward? Are you erroring on the side of your team members? Do you understand your own unconscious biases? Are you self-aware as a leader? Have you earned the right to speak truth and love to your team members? If not, I'm afraid the conversation might not proceed in the direction you want or need it to.

The timing of feedback is crucial. Addressing concerns right after a heated meeting or a tight deadline might not yield positive results. Instead, find a calm moment, preferably in a private setting, where the employee feels relaxed and undistracted. This ensures they’re mentally present and more open to feedback.

O tempo e o local podem fazer muita diferença no feedback. E aqui eu estou considerando o feedback que acontece por conta da necessidade ou oportunidade e não porque corporativamente era aquele o momento do feedback. Como sempre falamos: críticas no privado e elogios no público. Isso define a necessidade de buscar um lugar adequado para a conversa. O segundo ponto é o momento: feedback no meio de um processo, só se for muito necessário para evitar problemas maiores. Caso contrário, deixe acabar, não espere muito e chame para a conversa.

A escolha do momento para o feedback é crucial para sua recepção. Evitar momentos de alto estresse e ambientes públicos ajuda a proteger a autoestima do profissional e garante que ele se sinta respeitado. Optar por um ambiente calmo e um momento apropriado, não só suaviza o impacto do feedback, mas também reforça o reconhecimento pelo desempenho geral. Essa abordagem cuidadosa aumenta a probabilidade de o feedback ser visto como construtivo e benéfico.

Feedback is more relevant when it is provided soon after the observation. I like to prepare people with schedule a quick debrief after a meeting or event. There should be no surprises when providing a performance review especially if the leader is providing feedback along the way.

De acuerdo no hay mejor momento que entablar o abordar una comunicación con el ambiente sea propicio. Muchas veces cuando las condiciones son de estrés laboral depresión por resultados tenemos menos capacidad para conectar.

Finding common ground is the key. Defensive high-performers who try to discredit your feedback might do so due to their inherent fear towards being challenged, or losing the respect from others (esp. when being corrected by a junior). Try to be specific in finding common ground between your feedback and his point of view. While highlighting what can be improved, underscore what he has done well too. Emphasise that by adopting your feedback, the person can help the team better in a certain way. It is humans' innate nature to feel important, or being relied on. Doing so indirectly tells him "We still need you for this", which might reduce his fear of being challenged or being rendered as of less importance.

A clareza e a especificidade são essenciais ao fornecer feedback. Comentários vagos podem facilmente ser mal interpretados e levar a uma resposta defensiva. Ao ser claro sobre os comportamentos ou resultados que precisam ser ajustados e ao usar exemplos concretos, garantimos que a mensagem seja compreendida. Focar em ações observáveis, em vez de intenções, ajuda os profissionais a entender exatamente o que se espera deles e como podem melhorar. Essa abordagem torna o feedback mais prático e efetivo, promovendo o crescimento e o desenvolvimento contínuo.

When dealing with resistance to feedback, I find the best way is to ask the person questions to reflect on their actions, situation or performance as though you were to get their opinion or input. Depending on the questions you ask, you want them to realize the situation and guide them through questioning to come up with a solution to improve the situation. This approach will only work if the employee has some knowledge about the feedback but lacks the necessary skills or is not choosing to apply them.

I remember being asked to review some work a peer had provided. I said something like "you did a really nice job on this project". My peer responded, "what specifically did I do that you liked?". Since that time I work really hard to point out specific behaviors or features of the project that I observed.

Vague feedback can be more detrimental than no feedback. When offering critique or suggestions, be specific about what the issue is and how it can be improved. By giving constructive feedback, you can help the receiver learn and grow. Instead of saying, “Your report wasn’t good,” try “Your report could benefit from more data-driven insights in section three. How about revisiting it with this perspective?” This approach is both clear and actionable, so it may be easier for your employee to be receptive to constructive feedback.

When you provide feedback to a high performer, please wear your coach hat. Accomplished employees usually understand the feedback and its importance, but they might need your help uncovering the underlying reasons that prompt an oppositional reaction. When trust exists, I use questions to bring awareness, making myself part of the moment and very present. Therefore, they can also ask back and share. Some questions that I use to bring awareness: "I'm noticing you reacted (physically or verbally) to this feedback; tell me about what's happening right now." "Tell me how this feedback is meaningful (or not) to you?" The overall goal is to challenge but with curiosity, to open a territory of discovery for you and your employees.

Employees are more likely to be receptive if they feel they can also share their thoughts. Allow them to express their feelings, concerns, or clarifications regarding the feedback. Open-ended questions like, “How do you feel about this?” or “What are your thoughts on this suggestion?” can pave the way for a balanced conversation.

Empathie ist entscheidend, um Widerstand gegen Feedback zu durchbrechen. Versetzen Sie sich in die Lage Ihres Teammitglieds und zeigen Sie Verständnis für seine Perspektive. Dies kann helfen, die Abwehrhaltung zu reduzieren. Praxisbeispiel: Beginnen Sie das Feedback-Gespräch mit offenen Fragen wie „Wie sehen Sie die aktuelle Situation?“ oder „Welche Herausforderungen haben Sie bemerkt?“.

Incentivar o diálogo durante o feedback é crucial para criar um ambiente de colaboração e entendimento mútuo. Ao promover a troca de pensamentos e sentimentos, e ao fazer perguntas abertas, mostramos que valorizamos a perspectiva dos profissionais. Essa abordagem não só ajuda a descobrir problemas, mas também fortalece a relação de confiança e facilita o desenvolvimento de soluções conjuntas para avançar de forma produtiva. Transformar o feedback em uma conversa bidirecional é essencial para o crescimento contínuo e o sucesso da equipe.

Conversations are intended to be a two-way street. As a leader, I start with active listening and have learned to listen with empathy. Instead of injecting my own thoughts and opinions, I try to follow-up with an open question to gain dialogue. If I am not clear on what is being said, I will ask for clarification. I have found summarize helps to keep us both on the same page for understanding.

It is important as a leader, coach, or mentor, to let people know you are on their team supporting them the entire way. What does support look like? It depends on the individual. I usually ask the question, how is the best way I can support you on this project or event? What other resources would be helpful to your success?

Feedback should not just pinpoint problems – it should also guide employees towards solutions. Offer actionable steps or resources when delivering feedback on how to improve. By doing this, you’re showing the employee that the goal is improvement and growth, not mere criticism. Giving solutions will also help motivate and engage employees in their work.

Apoiar o desenvolvimento dos profissionais é essencial para garantir que o feedback seja visto como uma ferramenta de crescimento. Ao oferecer recursos, orientações e demonstrar um investimento genuíno no sucesso deles, reforçamos a mensagem de que o feedback é uma oportunidade de aprimoramento e não uma forma de punição. A criação de oportunidades de orientação, o fornecimento de treinamento adicional e a disponibilidade para discussões aprofundadas são ações concretas que mostram comprometimento com o desenvolvimento contínuo e fortalecem a relação de confiança.

Ya que hemos propiciado el diálogo dentro de los puntos claves a abordar es De qué forma podemos apoyar al equipo o a los colaboradores y de esa manera las personas se sienten involucradas y escuchadas.

I learned a key aspect of behavior in that what we do anywhere, we do everywhere. To be effective with others, we first must know ourselves deeply, intimately, and the mirror is often not consulted, let alone well. To example the aspects of 'servant leadership' we first are curious, getting to know the other before going into coach mode, or any other mode for that matter. Conflicts and/or a drop in performance are all tied to how we communicate with self and others; managed by how well we've understood their communication and problem-solving preferences. High achievers, we're finding, are often neurodiverse and sensitive beyond the norm, too. Emotional intelligence, once called 'interpersonal skills' helps navigate the ocean of emotion.

Get curious and choose a compassionate lens to address. Dig deeper and open an honest dialogue to identify the true cause of defensiveness. This can be challenging in a professional setting as most people often do not feel safe to express thoughts and opinions without judgment or repercussion. As a leader it is your responsibility to create this safety. Reframe the meaning you attach to 'defensive' Is it necessarily negative? Or a reaction requiring inquiry Open dialogue, safety to express and a shared focus on solutions is a more productive lens to communicate our way through challenging times. Meet peoples' desire to be seen heard and understood, and you will diffuse defensiveness. This is true emotional mastery and leadership.

Focus first on what is working well for them, minimizing any resistance and offer your perspective on areas you believe will enhance their performance. What is the intention of the one having the discussion with the "high performer"? And why is there resistance to begin with. Resistance is an effect arising from an interpretation of an incoming message. Rarely does resistance evolve from well framed, thoughtful questions when housed in a harmonious and well balanced communicative process.

Consider the blend of coaching and mentoring. As you invest time with your high performers they have a sense of strong self worth. Often they don’t want to be told what to do, but they are interested in continuing to perform at the highest level. Once trust is built, I love the question “Who is the best in the world at what you do?” This really gets any high performer to stop and think differently. The follow up question is “What are they doing differently to everyone else?” These two questions open up the opportunity for exceptional development discussions. Try them and let me know how they work out. 🚀