Ranking 'Bob's Burgers' Christmas episodes

Whether it's crafting an ode to Thanksgiving or one of TV's best Halloween episodes, Bob's Burgers celebrates every holiday with its trademark comic flair (as well as a lot of high-spirited songs).

Their Christmas episodes are no exception, and EW has ranked all of them from the mildly merry to the shimmering showstoppers. There are no stockings full of coal on the list and each one offers plenty of laughs, but some sparkle just a little bit brighter. From a love story involving mannequins to an underground Christmas rave, the Belchers' holiday adventures are more fun than a chocolate candy cane. Read on to see if you agree with our ranking of the best Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes.

11. "Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins" (Season 3, Episode 9)

It's hard not to compare the first Christmas episode to the wild glories of the later ones, but there is still plenty of amusement in season 3's inaugural attempt. After Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) inherits a storage unit from his Uncle Ernie, the kids hope that it will pay for their Christmas presents, but those hopes are dashed when all they find inside is Chet (recurring guest star Zach Galifianakis), the window designer for Uncle Ernie's old department store. At Linda's (John Roberts) behest, Chet moves into their basement and starts creating daily holiday displays for the restaurant.

However, things get weird when he claims that he was once a mannequin who lost his mannequin wife, Nadine, when Uncle Ernie's store closed down. After a skeptical Bob suggests Chet's wife is probably in a dump now, Chet's Christmas Eve display takes a rather bloody turn, which meant Bob needed to order a lot more ketchup as a result. The kids track down Nadine and find her in a sex shop window, and, with Bob's help, manage to free her in a highly inappropriate manner (best to avoid this one if you are watching with kids). All Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes wind up being strangely sweet, and this one is no different when the kids volunteer to go without gifts to secure Nadine's freedom from the sex shop. Alright, maybe it's more bizarre than sweet, but it's the thought that counts, right?

10. "Christmas in the Car" (Season 4, Episode 8)

One basic fact of these Christmas episodes is that Linda is as passionate about Christmas as Bob is about Thanksgiving. After Linda goes through not one but two trees before they even make it to the holiday, the family must go out searching for a new tree on Christmas Eve, even though Bob already put his precious ham in the oven. While Linda is deciding which scrawny tree to pick at the nearly empty tree lot, Louise (Kristen Schaal) goes over her plan to trap Santa later that night. Unfortunately, Teddy (Larry Murphy) is the one who gets caught when trying to protect the ham by turning off Bob's oven.

The trouble really starts when Bob backs out of the tree lot to go home, and the episode turns into an homage to Steven Spielberg's Duel (1974), featuring an enormous candy cane truck. Once Bob's car gets stuck in the snow while hiding from the ominously minty vehicle, he and the irate truck driver, Gary (voiced by comedian Bobcat Goldthwait), eventually come face-to-face. After Bob lets him get a punch in for cutting off his truck earlier, Linda insists that the lonely Gary take their tree, much to Bob's aggravation. Linda's generous Christmas spirit wins out, and even though Louise caught Teddy and not Santa, at least the ham wasn't ruined. And that's the best Christmas gift of all.

9. "Better Off Sled" (Season 9, Episode 10)

It's not the most Christmas-y feeling episode, but "Better Off Sled" is still a fun winter episode involving Louise and her archnemesis Logan (Kurt Braunohler) fighting over the only good sledding hill in the park. Logan refuses to give up ground for his snowball fight, and just like the little battle commander she is, Louise plots to retake it for sledding with the help of Rudy's cousin Mandy (Jillian Bell) and her softball pitching skills. Mandy wins the battle, but the war isn't over yet, and a lot more varsity members get involved before the hill is finally won. Armored with the best cookie sheets Bob's kitchen has to offer, Louise, Tina (Dan Mintz), and Gene (Eugene Mirman) face down their snow bullies once and for all. Aided by Mandy and every girl in town who wants to hit Logan with a snowball (it's a lot of girls), they retake the hill. Though, Louise isn't a complete grinch. She helps Logan get a bit of a head start before he reaps the blizzard he has sowed.

Linda, meanwhile, faces the plight of every casual knitter who discovers their spouse is a better and faster knitter than they are (raises hand) when she tries to make the kids Christmas scarves — only to discover Bob is a natural knitter. But, it turns out, the kids like their mom's eccentric scarf best of all, and Linda has a very merry Christmas indeed.

8. "Yachty or Nice" (Season 11, Episode 10)

The Glencrest Yacht Club is having its annual Christmas Yacht Parade, and, much to Bob's befuddlement, he's been invited to cater along with a collection of much fancier restaurants. Linda hopes she'll finally meet the mayor, but Bob's general paranoia gets the better of him, and he starts to suspect that this is a joke being played on him by aspiring yacht club member and fellow culinary competitor, Jimmy Pesto (Jay Johnston). When Bob suspects Jimmy is planning to pants him in front of the whole gathering, they both wind up in the water, and Jimmy confesses his somewhat unexpected plan. He honestly thought the club would like Bob's food so much that the glory of Bob's cooking would reflect back on him, and they would finally let him into the damn yacht club. Bob feels terrible and, as much as it pains him, makes an appeal to the club president on Jimmy's behalf.

But he's not the only family member who suffers a crisis of conscience as Louise, Tina, and Gene discover Teddy has been hired to be this year's Yacht Parade Santa, and he has access to tons of expensive toys to give out. They scheme to steal some of them until Teddy leaves the choice of whether to take the gifts up to them. They eventually return the gifts, but don't leave empty-handed because, like a good Santa, Teddy has put aside a defective but still working RC car for them. It might be slightly dangerous, but those are the kinds of gifts Louise likes the most.

7. "Gene's Christmas Break" (Season 12, Episode 10)

Louise usually takes the lead in the Christmas episodes since she's the most gift-focused of the Belcher kids, but in 2021's amusing entry, Gene takes center stage as his passion for Christmas music threatens to take down the entire holiday. When he accidentally breaks his favorite Christmas album, the very rare Percy McTinsel-bud's "Tinsel Machine," Gene melts down. Despite the fact that Gene has been incessantly playing the album and driving the whole family wild, Tina and Louise try to find him a replacement copy to no avail. As a last-ditch effort to save their Christmas from Gene's despondency, the Belchers try to rerecord the album themselves, which doesn't work until Gene gets a trippy vision from Percy McTinsel-bud (Dana Snyder). Taking Percy's advice, Gene takes the Belchers' version and makes it his own.

Gene's Christmas is saved, and just as successful is Bob and Linda's secret Santa with Teddy, Mort (Andy Kindler), and Mike the Mailman (Tim Meadows). Teddy initially pitched the idea just for him, Linda, and Bob, so he's thrown off when Linda recruits Mort and Mike and he gets stuck with Mort instead of Bob or Linda. It's a familiar story for anyone who has ever gotten caught in a secret Santa they regret (which is pretty much everyone), but it all turns out well in the end when they all get a gift they like, even Mort.

6. "The Plight Before Christmas" (Season 13, Episode 10)

Louise reading a poem on 'Bob's Burgers' — Fox/Courtesy Everett Collection

Bob and Linda have to split up because both Gene and Tina have holiday performances on the same night at the same time. Gene has a xylophone concert, and Tina is a star in a play at City Hall. (She's not the star, but a literal star.) However, they forgot about Louise, who won a Christmas poetry contest at the library. She enters every year in hopes of getting the word "poop" onto the wall at the library, where the winning poem is displayed. She won this year, and her reading is, as you've probably guessed, on the same night at the same time as the other activities. But maybe it's going to be okay because Louise doesn't want anyone to come see her read her poem.

Everything begins to unravel when Tina discovers that Louise actually wrote a personal poem that she cares about, which causes Linda to panic. Someone has to be there for her baby! She asks Bob to sneak out of Gene's performance to see Louise and then return. Though, Gene's performance is itself having issues because the music teacher didn't teach the kids how to read music, she wound up with appendicitis. Bob leaves and goes to the wrong library to see Louise, only making things worse. Thankfully, Tina has another girl get in her star costume so she can go to the library to hear Louise's poem about enjoying her family sitting around a Christmas tree. Of course, Louise is teased in the car for loving her family, but that makes the episode all the more sweet. It's true to the characters, their flaws, and their inability to be sincere (with the exception of Linda and maybe Tina) without also being slightly antagonistic. —Dustin Nelson

5. "Father of the Bob" (Season 5, Episode 6)

There is no better way to spend the holidays than settling long-held family grudges. After holding onto a beef (sorry) against his dad, Big Bob (Bill Hader), for 30 years, Bob is in no mood to resolve it. Turns out that even though Bob learned the restaurant business at his dad's knee, the elder Belcher wasn't so supportive of his son's culinary adventures. But when Linda forces Bob into the kitchen with his father on Christmas Eve, they finally have it out.

After Big Bob's longtime customer Henry (comedy legend Carl Reiner) chooses Bob's specialty burger over his usual tuna melt, Big Bob storms out of the restaurant. A lazy Christmas gift from his kids they foraged from his dad's basement helps Bob discover that his dad saved the first review of Bob's restaurant, and he realizes he shouldn't have humiliated his dad in his own. Bob finds his dad at the gay bar next door, which is run by family friend Pete (Nick Offerman). They hash it out over some country line dancing, which Bob's dad is surprisingly adept at. Both apologize, and old wounds are finally healed. It's a Christmas miracle!

4. "Have Yourself a Maily Linda Christmas" (Season 10, Episode 10)

The perpetually struggling Belchers are always short on cash when Christmas comes around, so Linda gets a temporary job at the post office during the holiday season, and the results are reliably ridiculous. As expected, Linda's unending Christmas cheer starts to wear on her fellow employees. When a last-minute postal delivery goes awry, she takes it upon herself to play Santa and violates all known postal regulations in the process. She goes on the lam with the package and takes Louise and Gene, who are looking for a last-minute gift for Tina since they both fell down on the job like true younger siblings everywhere. Linda's own mailperson, Mike, intercedes at first to stop her, but, after a Christmas change of heart, just makes sure it's an official delivery.

Meanwhile, Bob is stuck in holiday hell as Linda's squabbling family arrives while she's still delivering the package. He somehow helps to resolve their long-running feud over the fact that Gail (Megan Mullally) got trapped in an ottoman the previous Christmas, so by the time Linda arrives home, things are unusually merry and bright — though not for poor Tina, who gets an origami swan made from a packing slip. But when you have siblings like Gene and Louise, what can you expect?

3. "Nice-Capades" (Season 6, Episode 5)

After Louise unknowingly bullies the mall Santa (guest star Henry Winkler, who uses his own nice guy reputation to hilarious effect here) out of a store's fancy massage chair, she spends the rest of the episode trying to make up for her behavior. Despite Bob confirming that he's pretty sure she's getting presents this year, Louise goes back to the mall to apologize, and, when that doesn't work, basically bribes the mall Santa in order to stay off the naughty list. Santa winds up soaked in milk and cookies, though, and Louise gets banned from Santa's Village for her efforts. Realizing that Santa sits across from the mall's ice rink, Louise decides she needs to put on a little show about all her good deeds, and with Mr. Fischoeder's help (Kevin Kline, game as always), she puts on the most demented Ice Capades this Santa has ever witnessed.

However, despite skating chicken nuggets and a ballad about bourbon by Mr. Fischoeder, when it comes time to detail her own good deeds, Louise realizes she's a fraud. Her family rushes in to convince her that — despite all her snark — she is a nice person, and the mall Santa agrees to put in a good word with the real big guy in red so she gets the gift that she wants. Unfortunately, Louise wants a shark. She's gets a goldfish as a less deadly substitute, but at least it isn't a lump of coal.

2. "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left" (Season 7, Episode 7 )

Mr. Fischoeder doesn't show up in every episode of Bob's Burgers, but when he does, it's a sheer delight and a big reason why "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left" slots so high on the list. While Linda and the family are planning to go caroling, Mr. Fischoeder begs Bob to come by his house for another one of his dubious schemes. This time, it involves tricking him into entering a gingerbread house-making competition with a bunch of armed millionaires. Bob wants to leave, but when Mr. Fischoeder bribes him with a month of free rent to throw the competition and prevent his landlord from losing yet again, Bob reluctantly agrees.

Bob eventually has enough of Mr. Fischoeder's trash-talking "gingerbooms," and he throws the free rent out of the tiny icing-lined window and aims for the top prize so he can give it to his kids (an afternoon at the local zoo with its albino polar bear cub). Tempers flare, and once the bullets start flying, Bob's gingerbread house is the only one left standing, and he wins by default. The kids love their time with the polar cub, and, in a show of Christmas generosity, Bob lets Mr. Fischoeder and the other millionaires get in a cuddle as well.

1. "The Bleakening: Part 1 and Part 2" (Season 8, Episodes 6 and 7)

The glittery tree topper on this list is the two-parter from season 8, which is stuffed with songs, mystery, and a dryly hilarious turn from guest star Adam Driver as a nude model named Art. Linda wants to throw the best Christmas party ever, but her holiday cheer is ruined when someone steals her little tree and all her favorite ornaments from the restaurant. Once they find out that decorations have been stolen all over town, Linda and Bob go investigating, but the kids think it's the Bleaken, a horned present-stealing creature that Teddy believes is real. The kids sneak out of the house on Christmas Eve and follow the clues, but after Tina gets scared, she gives her parents a hint on how to find them.

Bob and Linda track them down to what seems like an abandoned warehouse but is really an underground Christmas rave. Linda spots her tree amidst the blinding lights and snatches the DJ's mic to read the crowd the riot act. But once she witnesses the drag queen performance by Miss Triple X-Mas (Todrick Hall singing an incredibly catchy ode to Christmas lights), her heart grows three sizes. She apologizes to the crowd while also admitting she called the cops because she was pissed someone stole her ornaments. Finally, Art, who was at the party as well, emerges out of the crowd and confesses that he alone stole everything. Linda realizes he had the same dream for this party that she had for hers. Catching the Christmas spirit himself, Bob jumps into action and leads the approaching cops on a wild Bleaken chase so the party can continue. Linda parties until dawn and promptly passes out. She sleeps through Christmas morning, but at least her dream has been restored.