Big Brother: Azah Awasum reacts to Derek saying he carried her to final 3

Sooooooooo close. Azah Awasum was one wrong answer away from possibly winning the final Head of Household competition and securing her place in the final 2 during Thursday's two-hour live finale of Big Brother season 23. But that one wrong answer was just enough to doom her as she fell to Xavier Prather 8-7 in the contest. Xavier then evicted Azah moments later.

So instead of sitting there at the end with a chance of winning $750,000 (and a guarantee of taking him at least the $75,000 consolation prize as the season 23 runner-up), a shell-shocked Azah had to settle for being interviewed by Julie Chen Moonves and then taking a seat as the final member of the jury. We spoke to Azah a few hours after her exit from the house to find out how she was holding up, if she is still upset at Derek Frazier for not respecting her gameplay, and how she thinks she would have done in a final 2 against both Big D and Xavier. (Also make sure to read our interview with Big Brother winner Xavier Prather and Q&A with runner-up Derek Frazier.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I watched the finale, you looked pretty shellshocked after being voted out. And then you have to go straight to the jury. I mean, you're this close to being at the very end and now all of a sudden you're over there instead. Tell me what that whole whirlwind experience was like because it seemed pretty jarring.

AZAH AWASUM: Yes, it is a whirlwind experience. I think the shock settled first with how out of eight questions, I got one wrong and the one I got wrong was my girl Britini. So, I had that process in my head. Also, I knew what I signed up for in this final three. I knew the only way I could get to that final two chairs was by me winning myself. So, as soon as I lost, I knew I wasn't going to be the winner. And it was me just processing all of that. And throughout the entire time of being in the house for 85 days, you look forward to and imagine yourself in those final two chairs. Snd for the longest time knew that if I wanted to get there, I had to win myself. For me, the battle wasn't over when I got evicted by X, it was over when X won, because I knew what I signed up for.

How much have you been replaying that one wrong answer in your head?

Yeah, I've definitely thought about it quite a few times. I've thought about it a lot. I've asked myself, dang. You know, 'cause I knew how many times Britini had gotten evicted, but the third question, instead of going with my gut feeling, I went with my second instinct. But one thing I'm very pleased about myself always is, I've always approached this that if God didn't want me to win, then I'm not going to win. So, if it's not meant for me, it wasn't meant for me. I think the winner is extremely deserving. I think he played a great game and I'm very happy with him as a representative as the first African-American winner of Big Brother.

Let's say you win that final HOH. I know you told Julie you would've brought Xavier, but if you knew you had a better chance to win against Derek than Xavier, as the jury indicated there are at the end, would you still have taken Xavier now knowing that?

Yeah, I would have. I say that because in that house you have so much time to think. And I went through the process of that for the whole last week, I knew I was taking Big D because he was my best friend. And when we got to final three, I started asking myself other questions. This is not just a regular season of Big Brother. This is a historical season. Who has encompassed a lot of great gameplay and everything and also played with integrity? And I had to say that I did not feel comfortable with X taking third. Even if I knew I had more friends in jury than Big D did. And I could have probably came out with the win. I have to think about myself 10, 20 years from now, what would I feel comfortable with in my heart?

I could have kept that to myself. But because I do respect Big D as a friend, I had to tell him how I felt. And you know, it is disappointing. Knowing that even with X, four jurors told me "I would've voted for you" or "I was rooting for you." But at the end of the day, these are the cards that were dealt. And I got to be at peace with that. Of course, I'm thinking the what if and things, but I played this game as best as I could. I played the most genuine game that I could and if that's what third is, then I'm going to accept it.

If you win that final HOH, that's a big notch on your belt too. Right? If you win that and take Xavier, how do you think you do: win or lose? What do you think?

It would've been difficult. I think me being there would've resonated with some people. Hannah, who I evicted, told me, "You evicted me, but I would've voted for you," wanting to see a Black woman there. I know that would've resonated very well with Hannah and Tiffany, who made that clear to me. And then the relationships that I had with DX and Claire were genuine and very real. And they both told me how much they were rooting for me as well too. So, it would've been close. That's four votes right there and I haven't even counted Britini, who is someone who I think is always going to be objective and respect competitors, but we had the closest relationship in the house. So, she might have been a deciding vote, but she probably could have leaned in my favor, too. It's very, sobering to think about, but I mean, if I got my girl right, maybe it would've been different, we don't know.

Well, you mentioned telling Big D that if you won that you were not going to take him. You guys really had a roller coaster relationship, especially at the end there. And he was basically saying that he carried you to the final three. Do you feel that he respected your game play, Azah?

You know, I think he can respect it now. I think at the time with that house and with you feeling you've done things and with my gameplay and how I played, my gameplay is I'm not a show-er. I don't say the things that I've done. I move more in silence. If someone doesn't see those things and if someone is opinionated, they might have an opinion of that. What I did that I felt was right was, at first I said, "I respect your opinion." But after some time I stood up for myself and said, "No, you did not carry me." And every single person in the six did what they needed to do to get there and worked with each other. But I'm not going to tell you or say that you carried me.

At the end of the day, I know that my relationship with him outside this house is always going to be what we are, best friends. And I think I did the right thing at the time, which was to stand up for myself, being the only woman in that final three and knowing the uphill journey I had to have to win two HOH competitions, but believing in myself enough to go after that and doing it and coming very close.

I am very proud of myself. I wanted to win the HOH to see my family and I got it at final five. And I contributed a lot in terms of strategy to the Cookout. I don't need someone else to validate my accolades because while I had doubts and insecurities in my game and myself throughout this game, I'm very, very proud at the placement that I have. And I'm very, very proud of the game that I played.

What were those doubts and insecurities that you had during the game?

You know, it's funny. I had doubts when I was getting those 50 BB bucks every single week. And I'm just like, "Oh my gosh." Like I had started having doubts of like, "Okay, do people think I'm like furniture? I just sit around." When you have nothing else in that house, but you know that that could be a measure of your "success," it gets to you. It definitely does get to you. And it got to me and I started really having a lot of insecurities about it, but I pushed those away.

I had insecurities because I wasn't winning at competitions, but I pushed those away as well. And at the end of the day, I pulled through a win when I absolutely needed it. When I think about it, I never hit the block up until final four. I kind of didn't need to win a competition. But at the time when I was actually in danger, I won and I saved myself and I saved the people whom I either had a short loyalty to or the people who I was allied with. And I'm proud of myself., I'm proud of what I did.

Well, you should be proud and I know you're probably a little disappointed right now because it's only a few hours after you just saw a chance to win slip through your fingers. But when it all is said and done, how proud are you of being in just this alliance of six Black players, but the most dominant alliance in Big Brother history, regardless of ethnicity.

Yes, I am just extremely humbled as a fan of the game and just knowing all the alliances that have ran through my head in past seasons like Level Six, and the Brigade, and the Friendship — all those alliances broke off. But to have an alliance that stayed till the six with all of us, it's amazing. And I can't believe that I'm a part of it. I can't believe that I got plucked out of Maryland and in this house and I not only was a part of that, but I came real close to winning. That's great. It's very humbling. It's amazing. It's awesome. I have this big stupid smile on my face whenever I think about it.

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