The Good Wife recap: KSR

If it were up to me, I would’ve titled this episode “Voicemail” because holy crap, guys! Eli finally told Alicia about the voicemail he erased from her phone! Remember the one? Just as Alicia was going on stage to show her support for Peter, Will called to confess his love and tell Alicia that he wanted to be with her. Only, Eli Gold was standing off-stage holding Alicia’s phone. Putting Peter’s career above all else, Eli listened to the voicemail and promptly deleted it. That happened in the first episode of season 2. And now, here we are in the 10th episode of season 7, and the truth has finally come out.

I have to admit that when the promos for this show teased something life-changing, my head went to ridiculous places: Will’s actually alive! Peter’s dead! But I should’ve known that this show would do something much more simple that would shock me way more than any life-or-death twist. Well played, The Good Wife.

But before we get to the reveal, we have to deal with some other things. Sadly, this episode was not called “Voicemail” but instead goes by “KSR,” which is a horrifying name, mostly because it stands for “kidnap, sedate, rape.”

The title comes from the case that Alicia and Lucca are currently working. They’re defending a surgeon who spends his down time on a website called BrutalMercy.com, creating a fantasy where he kidnaps, sedates, and rapes one of his patient’s mothers. (His patients are kids.)

Sadly for Alicia — and the doctor, I suppose — the judge is none other than our buddy from bond court, Don Schakowsky, who seems to purposefully be siding against Alicia. And yet, when Alicia finally pieces together the puzzle — that Eli tipped him off about the FBI bribe — he straightens up his act…though may be a little too much. We’ll get to that later.

First, the argument: Alicia and Lucca are simply trying to prove that fantasizing is one thing and acting on said fantasy is another. Meanwhile, the prosecution is trying to prove that the defendant had every intention of following through on his threats. The bottom line? The doctor never actually did anything. So the question comes down to: Can we be arrested on our fantasies alone?

The jury seems to think yes. They find the defendant guilty of conspiring to commit kidnapping, and yet, it’s the judge who speaks up with disappointment for the jurors. He claims there’s insufficient evidence to support said conviction, and therefore, he’s issuing a judgment of acquittal.

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Of course, Alicia can’t help but think that his judgment has more to do with what she said about the bribe than her case, but Don doesn’t really care. Whether she and Lucca “earned” that win will remain up in the air for now.

What she and Lucca definitely did not earn, though, is the loss of their super-sexy investigator, Jason Crouse. Because Ruth is the absolute worst and wants total control over every one of Alicia’s sexual impulses, she asks Courtney Paige to hire Jason for some work…in California. By offering him $50,000, Courtney secures him for a couple of months, which means Ruth won’t have to worry about Alicia sleeping with him.

I understand your job, Ruth. But as a woman, you should be ashamed. Have you seen Jason Crouse?

NEXT: The confession six years in the making

Jason tells Alicia, and she understands, of course. The thing she doesn’t understand is how Eli could do this to her. Finally losing it on Eli, she informs that her life is her life and he needs to “back the hell up.” It’s a wake up call for dear Eli, who realizes that Ruth must’ve been behind the whole thing.

But that’s not the only thing he realizes. Turns out, Eli really cares for Courtney, and when she mentions returning home to California for a year, he asks her to stay. But she can’t. As much as he loves campaigns, well, that’s how much she loves her business, so whether she’s perfect for him is no longer relevant. She has business to do.

It’s that heartbreak that leads Eli back to Alicia’s doorstep, where he apologizes about Jason. He tells her that she should call him if she wants. She shouldn’t let the campaign get in the way of her happiness. Why is he telling her all of this? Because…”six years ago you got a message from Will Gardner. I erased it,” Eli tells her as I gasp so loudly that my neighbors probably think I’m dead.

He then tells Alicia that Will told her that he loved her and would give up everything to be with her. He apologizes and promises not to stand in the way of her happiness again. Alicia, stunned, simply takes his glass from in front of him and tells him to “get out.”

I have chills, and I’m crying, and I can’t even process all of this because we haven’t even talked about what’s happening this week at Lockhart, Agos, and Lee.

Just as Cary heads in to check on his eight associates who have been pulling an all-nighter to help the firm get ready for the filing deadline in Mr. Dipple’s big case, he realizes that not only have all eight of his associates quit, but they’ve erased all necessary files. Translation: The firm has no chance of meeting this filing deadline.

Meeting with the associates, Cary learns that their plan is to go to Canning. So Cary and Diane come up with a plan of their own. After hiring Monica to help out around the firm, Cary returns to the associates to beg them to return. He promises to beat Canning’s offer and even gives them $80,000 in signing bonuses.

And yet, the moment they set foot back in the office, he and Diane fire them. The twist? In the 10 seconds it took for Cary to walk them back into the office, he revealed their strategy in the Dipple case. So now, they are conflicted out of working for Canning. In other words, they’re s— out of luck on this one.

I don’t think anything can describe how I feel about this moment better than Diane and Cary’s high five. The old(er) guys win again!

So with that, we end 2015 with triumph and heartbreak. Personally, I’m glad we get a brief hiatus because I’m going to need a while to process my feelings (and rewatch Eli’s confession and cry).

What did you all think of the hour? Hit the comments with your thoughts, or find me on Twitter @samhighfill.