Scandal recap: 'Air Force Two'

So, we’re course correcting. We’re sending our mom nice coats and letting her go to Paris. We’re giving big speeches on planes. We’re trying to wear the White Hat. Because Scandal is coming to an end soon, and with not a lot of time remaining, Olivia has to get back in the good graces of the Lord, and by the Lord, I mean us red wine drinkers and popcorn enthusiasts. That’s not to say we’re God, per se, but this show has made crazier comparisons. And tonight, the biggest thing getting in between Olivia and the good graces is Cyrus Beene, David Rosen, and Air Force Two. Yes. You read that correctly. The vice presidential plane.

We open up the night with Cyrus having a full laughing fit at his desk, which is nice because that should mean that someone’s not dying or falling into the darkness for once. But the laughter is over quickly. Cyrus was so jazzed because he was going to what is essentially the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and he had a funny speech. A hilarious speech, but he got sent to Lisbon for a digital piracy summit by Mellie instead. Joke’s on Cy. He’s heading out there with David Rosen, who has sent Abby for a tailspin with a fancy dinner reservation. She’s convinced he’s going to propose, which would be a LOVELY way to tie up her story line, but she’s not in the clear yet. Or rather, David isn’t.

He and Rosen board on Air Force Two to head to Lisbon, but in the irony of all ironies, the plane headed to the digital piracy summit…has been hacked. Classic Scandal. Back at QPA, while Abby is spiraling about the concept of getting engaged with a mall-store ring, Quinn pulls her into a room.

Elsewhere, Olivia is meeting up with her mom (still on house arrest), and y’all. For this final season, I’ve been doing a Scandal rewatch, and does it ever strike you…holy [insert expletive of choice], these people are straight-up demons. I mean, have y’all ever thought about all the stuff Olivia’s parents have done? Sorry for this diversion, but it’s bonkers, right? Olivia gets a call, presumably about the plane, but she ignores it because she’s gotta kick it with Murder Mom of the Year. But back to this insane episode of CSI: Cyber (Where is Patricia Arquette when you need her? SEVERELY UNDERUSED, THAT’S WHERE): Mellie is briefed on the Air Force Two debacle, but they have no update on how the passengers are doing. And I’ll tell you how they’re doing. The journalists on board are still videoing because “I’m still on the clock.” God bless the media.

Turns out Cyrus’ secretary thinks she’s the one who brought the virus on board. She lost her laptop and went searching for it, but when she got back to her desk, it was there. Can’t trust smart technology if a dumb person is using it, amirite? As they get that news, the plane is redirected. Where? D.C. Because it’s going to be used as a missile. Cyrus believes this is all Jake’s doing, and you know what? He might not be crazy — Mellie wants to ground the plane and Jake is like, “Let’s shoot it down, LOL.” When Mellie calls him out, Jake explains how he’d much rather do it via heart attack because Jake is bonkers. Then Mellie points out that Jake killed Rashad via plane and maybe it’s his fetish. Dude, the White House is nuts. So she banishes him because it’s #InternationalWomensDay and Mellie is the female president we deserve, and Jake is just left to figure out where he went wrong.

At QPA, they’re working to stop this from being the end of Cyrus and David. Everyone’s doing the most to stop this plane, even Mellie, who’s the one who put in the call to Olivia. You know, the one Olivia ignored. She’s busy playing sleepover with her mom, who is super suspicious about why she’s come to hang out with her on her birthday. And that sucks because her mom is not even thankful! She called the soufflé Olivia brought her dry. Can you even imagine? Your mom goes and kills, like, half the world and she’s all pissed because the soufflé is dry. And it turns out it’s not even her birthday. It’s just the birthday of whichever alias Olivia chose to cling to as a kid. Maybe Olivia should go solve this big issue in the sky. I mean, even Mellie has made a call to Fitz. (Recap continues on page 2)

In preparation, Mellie sends fighter jets up there to take down Air Force Two if need be. But Abby has bigger skin in the game because the one man she was always supposed to be with (I would argue) is up there. Huck tries to calm her down, but nothing is going to solve that issue. Dead fiancés? It’s not a quick fix. In the sky, Air Force Two is a damn mess. That journalist who is “still on the clock” somehow makes her way to the cockpit to barter with the pilot to let a wifi signal make its way to the cabin because “the people have a right to know.” And y’all, I’m here. I’m journalist-ing tonight, kind of. I’m writing this recap because the people of Shondaland have a right to know about this episode. But if we were all dying, I’d probably let that go. Maybe that’s what makes us different, me and this broad. Because she gets back to her seat and whips out her phone (in landscape mode, because she’s not a monster) and streams Cyrus’ big speech from Air Force Two to the nation, and he sounds very presidential. Everyone is watching, including Olivia, and they are shook. Well, everyone except Jake, who has absolutely no emotions left after seven seasons of this show. Cyrus explains that they didn’t choose this sacrifice, but dying in this plane means they will have died for their country. You just know this journalist is euphoric. She got the scoop!

Back at Mama Pope’s place, she’s super cavalier about this whole plane situation as Olivia freaks out. Maybe it’s because she once was responsible for shooting down a plane. Mama Pope starts to condescend Olivia before telling her that she’s an embarrassment of a daughter. Okay, Ellis Grey. Back at the White House, Mellie makes one more attempt and asks Jake if he’s responsible; he insists that he isn’t. She needs to know, too, because that plane is headed for land, and that’s not good news for those on board. Cyrus knows that. While David takes some Dramamine, Cyrus is chilling out with some booze, but it won’t have time to hit because the jets get in position to fire. With 30 seconds remaining, Charlie hacks into the plane’s system, but time is still running out. We’re kind of left hanging for a while, but when Abby’s doorbell rings, David is on the other side.

She gives a whole speech about how she’s ready for him to propose because “it’s a beautiful night to be alive” (R.I.P. DEREK SHEPHERD). But David admits he was never going to propose because he knows Abby. Proposing might mean that he’d lose her. And while the news covers the incident, Olivia dresses up a package and has it sent to her mom. It has the fancy coat that she wants. The kind Olivia wears. And with it, a card with a flight number and a Swiss bank account. She can finally go to Paris. When she calls Olivia, Olivia simply tells her mom that she won. Mama Pope seems completely shaken to be on the winning side because it means there’s no one left to tangle with. So in the end, it seems that she’s lost.

But don’t count Olivia as a softy. She goes to Cyrus’ because she knows what’s going on: Cyrus set up the entire hacking. He needed something to set up his run for president later on, and it seems he also has a plan to deal with Mellie. We’re running out of episodes to solve this final Scandal, and boy howdy, it’s ramping up to be a big one.