New Girl recap: Season 6, Episode 4

In part two of a Brooklyn Nine-Nine and New Girl crossover, Jess and the loftees go to New York because Schmidt is being honored by his high school, or so he thinks. It turns out the school is recognizing multiple people in a fundraising effort, which devastates Schmidt since he was expecting to show his bullies how far he’d come.

So Jess heads out to get comfort soup for Schmidt, and that’s when she meets Det. Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg), who is in pursuit of a criminal. Cece and her mother-in-law, Louise (Nora Dunn), meanwhile, face off to see who can best take care of Schmidt. And Nick and Winston busk to raise funds for the subway fare after spending their money on an expensive lunch.

Here are the top 5 “loft”-iest moments from “Homecoming.”

Jess’ New York attitude. Jess has had a number of bad experiences in New York, so she’s come up with a saying to help her survive in the city, with a good attitude at that. “PADFUNT,” which stands for, “Positivity always decency forever understanding no trouble.” She tries using that while at a very busy deli to get Schmidt his comfort soup, but when the niceties are getting her nowhere, she takes a different approach and starts screaming at the customer who cut her. It works, so she tells Schmidt to take a similar approach, which prompts him to start writing a roast of his former peers.

Helloooo, Brooklyn Nine-Nine! With a new outlook, Jess is ready to take on the city, but she’s thrown for a loop when Jake stops her to use her car — actually, it belongs to Schmidt’s mom, and Jess is terrified that it will get scratched up — to go after a criminal. She’s terrified with good reason because he does crash it, so Jess has to go to Brooklyn’s 99th precinct. That’s where she meets Gina Linetti (Chelsea Peretti), who revels in giving Jess a ton of paperwork, and Capt. Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher), who tells Jess that she can rest easy about the car getting fixed because, “I never lie. Although I told my mother her hair looked good once and it didn’t. It just looked okay.”

Nick and Winston busking. Nick and Winston decide that they’re going to be “men of means” on the trip, so they have an expensive lunch where they leave a big tip. After giving cash to a musician, they have no money left for the subway, so the pair busk to pay their way. The problem is they don’t have an act to perform, but they realize that they can stall and people will give them money and leave to catch their train. That works up until the trains are delayed, so the pair are forced to perform — with encouragement from Det. Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio). They decide to jump over piles of trash, backed by “I Believe I Can Fly,” and Nick completely wipes out — but raises MORE than enough to make the trip back.

Schmidt’s roast of his childhood bullies. After speaking with Raymond, Jess realizes that you can’t have any regrets about your past because that makes you who you are, so she tells Schmidt not to confront his bullies. He seems on board, but then launches into his roast anyway, and thanks his former peers “for being the worst that humankind has to offer — that includes Harvey Levin and every cast member that’s ever been on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge,” and tells them, “you’re all ugly and I make money.” His old bully tells him how embarrassing that was, and that’s when Cece steps in.

Cece’s defense of Schmidt, post-roast. “If any of you have anything else you’d like to say to my husband, I will drag you outside and we will handle this L.A. style,” Cece threatens. “I will take you to the corner of Fairfax and La Brea,” which, as Winston points out, are parallel streets, but still. The move earns Cece some major points with Louise. “Even though your car is definitely here, it’s a beautiful night. Let’s walk,” Jess tells Louise as they leave. Winston can tell that something’s up, but he has a better plan in mind anyway — insert the white, stretch limo that he and Nick rented with their busking funds.

Honorable Mentions:

• Schmidt and Louise’s very close relationship, as shown by her carrying him for 11 months when she was pregnant.
• Louise and her dog’s very close relationship, as shown by her treating him like a member of the family.
• “That is good,” Jess says of the Crystal Light provided by Louise. “I’d kiss you, but that would mean I’d made out with both of Schmidt’s parents. Good vibes. Great trip, so far.”
• A surprise visit from Coach! “The only reason I’m not pissed is because I’ve been to LA like five times,” he says when he runs into the loftees and realizes they didn’t call upon getting to town. “I’ve got other friends.”

Episode grade: B+