12 Tender Movie Moments Brought to You by Michael Bay

01 of 12

The Parachute Love Scene, Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor, Kate Beckinsale | Danny (Josh Hartnett) and Evelyn (Kate Beckinsale) are both in mourning for the dashing Rafe (Ben Affleck), who was shot down over the English Channel

Danny (Josh Hartnett) and Evelyn (Kate Beckinsale) are both in mourning for the dashing Rafe (Ben Affleck), who was shot down over the English Channel and presumed dead. United in their grief, they become friends. Danny takes Evelyn up into the air for a sunset flight. Afterward, they frolic through the base, seeking shelter in a windswept parachute garden. Nobody can ever just make out on a bed in Michael Bay's America. —Darren Franich

02 of 12

Love Amid the Pyramids, Transformers 2

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen | Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox profess a love that will last forever (or at least until Bay fires one of them) while underneath the Egyptian

Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox profess a love that will last forever (or at least until Bay fires one of them) while underneath the Egyptian monuments. The emotion is heightened by the color palette, which contrasts the blue of the darkening sky with the actors' Snooki-like orange skin tone. —Keith Staskiewicz

03 of 12

Ben Affleck Can't Read, Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor, Kate Beckinsale | Rafe is a great pilot, but he's also a kid who can't read good. Fortunately, an attractive nurse named Evelyn lets him pass his eye

Rafe is a great pilot, but he's also a kid who can't read good. Fortunately, an attractive nurse named Evelyn lets him pass his eye exam. In a curious attempt to flirt with her, Rafe steals another soldier's file and tries to get an array of inoculation shots that he had already received earlier in the day. Thus, the meet-cute of Pearl Harbor: Rafe pulls down his pants and moons his future lady love, and she keeps on sticking hypodermic needles in his bum. You laugh, but Michael Bay meets women like this all the time. —DF

04 of 12

Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson Make Hot Clone Love, The Island

Ewan McGregor, The Island | Lincoln (McGregor) and Jordan (Johansson) know they have to return to Cloneville to free their fellow clones ( whoops, spoiler alert! ) but first, they

Lincoln (McGregor) and Jordan (Johansson) know they have to return to Cloneville to free their fellow clones (whoops, spoiler alert!) but first, they have to get all that hot clone tension out of their bodies. Keep in mind: They're both a little new to this whole sex thing. By way of explaining that he really enjoys French kissing, Lincoln exclaims, ''Man, that tongue thing is amazing!'' Then Jordan whispers the true meaning of Christmas into Lincoln's ear: ''The Island is real. It's us.'' Themes! —DF

05 of 12

Coitus Interruptus Rooftopus, The Rock

The Rock | Remember what we were saying about the curious absence of beds in the world of Michael Bay? After a busy day of almost dying while

Remember what we were saying about the curious absence of beds in the world of Michael Bay? After a busy day of almost dying while defusing chemical attacks, Stanley Goodspeed (Nicholas Cage) flees to the comfort of his beautiful rooftop love den with his pregnant girlfriend, Carla (Vanessa Marcil). A hundred candles are lit. IKEA lamps are swaying in the evening breeze. Carla has her hair in pigtails. And then the mean ol' boss calls and tells Stanley to go to San Francisco. ''I am Catholic!'' screams Carla. ''I am pregnant and I am unmarried!'' Relationships are hard. —DF

06 of 12

Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox Make Out on Bumblebee, Transformers

Keep in mind: This is technically a ménage à trois. —DF

07 of 12

Ben Affleck to Bruce Willis: ''I Love Yooooouuuuu!'', Armageddon

Ben Affleck, Armageddon | Someone has to stay behind on the asteroid to blow it up. But Harry (Willis) fools A.J. (Affleck) and pushes him back onto the elevator

Someone has to stay behind on the asteroid to blow it up. But Harry (Willis) fools A.J. (Affleck) and pushes him back onto the elevator leading to the spaceship. ''You take care of my girl now,'' says crusty ol' Harry. ''I always thought of you as a son. I'd be damn proud to have you marry Grace.'' ''No, Harry! Noooo!'' screams A.J. ''I love you,'' says Harry. ''I love yoooouuuu! Harry!'' responds A.J. in turn. Scientists estimate that this is, by a wide margin, the single least badass sequence in an action movie ever. —DF

08 of 12

Animal Crackers, Armageddon

Armageddon, Ben Affleck, ... | Those zoologically shaped snacks once used to be associated with childhood, but Bay forever linked them to Liv Tyler's crotch. Ben Affleck plays a sultry

Those zoologically shaped snacks once used to be associated with childhood, but Bay forever linked them to Liv Tyler's crotch. Ben Affleck plays a sultry David Attenborough as an edible gazelle gallops up and down the plains and mountains of Tyler's body. And if you thought that was an inappropriate use of crackers, you don't want to know what they did once they broke out the Goldfish. —KS

09 of 12

Fall of the Fallen, Transformers 2

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen | While definitely not as affecting as when the big guy bites it in the superior animated Transformers movie, Bay's still got enough of the touch

While definitely not as affecting as when the big guy bites it in the superior animated Transformers movie, Bay's still got enough of the touch to make us sad when the head Autobot is killed in his fight with the Decepticons. Sure, he's later resurrected when they shove the legendary Device of Plot into his chest, but it still feels like you've been hit by a red-and-blue truck. —KS

10 of 12

I?m Sho Shorry, The Rock

The Rock | Michael Bay doesn't have any kids — it might be because no kid could ever meet his standards of awesomeness — but he does know

Michael Bay doesn't have any kids — it might be because no kid could ever meet his standards of awesomeness — but he does know what comprises bad fathering. John Mason (Sean Connery) breaks out of federal custody to apologize to his daughter (Claire Forlani) for missing the entirety of her childhood, and while the scene is about one-quarter as long as the car chase that precedes it, it's a start. —KS

11 of 12

Whatcha Gonna Do? Bad Boys 2

Bad Boys II, Martin Lawrence, ... | What better way to celebrate your kickass, totally platonic, not-homoerotic-in-the-least partnership than by singing the title song of your own movie while slowly floating off

What better way to celebrate your kickass, totally platonic, not-homoerotic-in-the-least partnership than by singing the title song of your own movie while slowly floating off into the sunset on a pair of inflatable rafts? At the end of the sequel, Martin Lawrence and Will Smith's characters clearly gain some level of meta-sentience and are now able to hear the soundtrack to the scene as its being played. How, you ask? Shut up, that's how! —KS

12 of 12

Leaving on a Rocketship, Armageddon

Armageddon, Ben Affleck, ... | Aerosmith depressingly had their biggest hit ever by covering a ballad written by someone who usually writes for LeAnn Rimes and Céline Dion, but that

Aerosmith depressingly had their biggest hit ever by covering a ballad written by someone who usually writes for LeAnn Rimes and Céline Dion, but that wasn't the only song featured in Armageddon. On their way to save the world, Affleck starts singing John Denver's classic ''Leaving on a Jet Plane'' to girlfriend Tyler, and the rest of the makeshift spacemen join in. It's a sweet moment that helps you forget that in the Michael Bay world, it's somehow easier to cart oil workers into space and onto a moving asteroid than it is to teach highly trained astronauts how to use a drill. —KS