Run the Jewels return with new album, tour dates and a silly promo email

OutKast may have reunited, but there’s no new album on the horizon. Who knows if we’ll ever get a Watch the Throne 2 from Jay and ‘Ye. Good thing we have Run the Jewels, the goofy yet prolific duo featuring El-P and Killer Mike. They’re set to release RTJ2, the follow-up to 2013’s debut Run the Jewels, on Oct. 27.

The duo seemed like an odd pairing when they first started working together. El-P lent his brand of dense, industrial rap beats to Killer Mike’s 2012 LP R.A.P. Music, a record full of the rapper’s signature Southern wordplay. The collaboration led them to form Run the Jewels and offer their debut as a free download. The record took off, Run the Jewels dominated the festival circuit, and now they’re back—and boasting their well-known style of stoner humor.

In a promotional email for the ages, Run the Jewels first apologize to fans for breaking a pledge to stay out of their inboxes, blaming “the amount of marijuana [they] smoke on a daily basis.” The duo earnestly thanked listeners for their support, and outlined the distribution model for the new record: Like its predecessor, it’ll be available as a free download, but fans will also be able to purchase it on vinyl or CD, and with other swag like shirts and stickers.

True to form, El and Mike went the extra mile, sarcastically outlining a number of exorbitantly priced, profanity-laced packages meant to goof on artists’ cash-grabbing schemes. Out of the eight options, these are a couple of our favorites:

• Housesitters Deluxe ($35,000): Run The Jewels will spend an agreed upon weekend at your house where we will smoke all of your weed, listen to your stupid f—ing music, and let your mother cook for us.
• The Jewels Candygram Package ($55,000): Run The Jewels will show up at your door step dressed in clothing made of candy to rap both albums to you personally over the beats of your choice and wish you a happy birthday (or any other occasion). We will then spend the day playing contact ultimate frisbee with your family and friends, ending at dusk where we will build a small, possibly illegal bonfire and drink until one of us urinates where we are sitting.
• The Self Righteousness For Sale Package ($350,000): Run The Jewels will spend 6 months pretending to care about whatever you care about. We will travel to no more than 3 events of your choosing and make eloquent, timely speeches on your causes behalf. We will shoot a heartfelt, informative video for your cause as well as co-author an info packet to be distributed on your causes behalf that includes an original song called “WE’VE GOT TO BRING _ _ _ _ _ _ _ TO AN END”. This offer does not extend to terrorists or cops.

If you want to see these jokers—and excellent rappers, we might add—on the road, check out their tour dates:

10/15 – College Station, TX – Boulevard 217 %

10/16 – Austin, TX – Red 7 %

10/18 – Tulsa, OK – Cain’s %

10/20 – Little Rock, AR – Stickyz

10/21 – Memphis, TN – Minglewood Hall %

10/22 – Nashville, TN – Exit/In

10/23 – Birmingham, AL – Zydeco %

10/24 – Columbia, SC – Music Farm %

10/25 – Charleston, SC – Music Farm %

10/31 – Philadelphia, PA – Theatre of Living Arts *

11/1 – Washington, DC – 9:30 Club *

11/2 – Charlottesville, VA – Jefferson Theater *

11/3 – Carrboro, NC – Cat’s Cradle *

11/4 – Atlanta, GA – Masquerade *

11/6 – Dallas, TX – Trees *

11/7 – Austin, TX – Fun Fun Fun Fest

11/8 – Houston, TX – Fitzgerald’s *

11/10 – Phoenix, AZ – Crescent Ballroom *

11/11 – La Jolla, CA – Porters Pub *

11/12 – Pomona, CA – Glass House *

11/14 – San Francisco, CA – Mezzanine +

11/15 – Portland, OR – Hawthorne Theater *

11/17 – Salt Lake City, UT – Urban Lounge *

11/18 – Englewood, CO – Gothic Theatre *

11/20 – Minneapolis, MN – First Line Music Café *

11/21 – Madison, WI – Majestic Theatre *

11/22 – Chicago, IL – Metro *

11/25 – Detroit, MI – St Andrews Hall *

11/26 – Toronto, ON – Danforth Music Hall *

11/27 – Montreal, QC – Club Soda *

11/28 – Boston, MA – Paradise *

11/29 – New York, NY – Stage 48 *

12/11 – Manchester, UK – Gorilla

12/12 – London, UK – Koko

12/13 – Paris, FR – La Bellevilloise

12/15 – Oslo, NO – BLA

12/16 – Stockholm, SE – Debaser Strand

12/19 – Copenhagen, DK – Pumpehuset

12/20 – Utrecht, NL – Tivoli Vredenburg

12/21 – Dublin, IE – Opium Rooms

12/30 – Lorne, AU – Falls Festival

12/31 – Marion Bay, AU – Falls Festival

1/1 – Sydney, AU – Field Day

1/2 – Byron Bay, AU – Falls Festival

1/4 – Busselton, AU – Southbound Festival

1/7 – Sydney, AU – Enmore Theatre ^

1/8 – Melbourne, AU – The Forum ^

1/9 – Brisbane, AU – Hi Fi ^

1/10 – Auckland, NZ – Town Hall ^

% Red Bull Sound Select show

* with Rat King & Despot

+ with Despot

^ with Joey Bada$$