Conan O'Brien translates emoji sentences

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The host of TBS’s Conan is a man of many talents, like telling jokes, interviewing guests, and looking exactly like Tarja Halonen, former president of Finland. As it turns out, he’s also got another secret aptitude—Conan O’Brien is also fully fluent in the strange language of emojis, a.k.a. the goofy, tiny pictures of eggplants and smiley poops that have largely replaced more prosaic forms of digital and textual communication, like words.

What does “castle balloon crescent moon sleepy bearded face” mean when translated into plain English, or “heart shoe basketball saxophone”? (That one’s kinda dirty.) O’Brien knows—and after watching the following clip, you will too. BRB; I’ve gotta go tell everyone I know that this is the episode of Dr. Phil where the rodeo clown has a heart attack. (Update: The video has been removed from Conan’s official channels, which is a shame. Guess you’ll just have to trust us on that.)