Hit List: June 17, 2011

1. New dad Nick Cannon: ”When she wants something, she’s instantly crying. She’s going to be a little handful”
He continued: ”But I knew what I was getting into when I married Mariah. My daughter, though, is a delight.”

2. Hackers plant bogus Tupac-is-alive story on PBS website
PBS called it an ”outrage,” an ”act of hooliganism,” and ”by far the coolest thing that’s ever happened to us.”

3. Titles of Peter Jackson’s upcoming Hobbit movies finally revealed — The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit: There and Back Again
Not making the final cut: The Hobbit: Did I Shave My Feet for This?

4. LeAnn Rimes tweets photo of self in bikini, then defends her super-skinny body
She was so upset, she cut her vacation short, catching the first fax out of Cabo.

5. Piers Morgan ribbed for poor choice of words in Paris Hilton interview: ”I could type in ‘Paris Hilton sex tape’ on Google, and up it comes!”
Just be thankful this didn’t happen last year, ’cause that would’ve been Larry King saying it.

6. Moby mildly electrocuted during gig in Amsterdam
Ha! He must have looked so silly with all of his hair standing up on end!

7. History channel debuts special 101 Gadgets That Changed the World on June 15
Clap if you’re interested in watching this. Okay, stop! You’re turning off all my lights!

8. Amy Winehouse checks herself out of rehab after one week, plans European gigs
The only way the concert promoter’s contract with Winehouse could be any shakier is if it’s guaranteed by Greek banks.

9. Nearly 2,000 counterfeit karaoke machines seized at L.A. port
Officials believe this bust could prevent up to 60,000 crimes against ”Don’t Stop Believin’ ” in 2011 alone.