"The L Word' recap: At last, lesbian Turkish oil wrestling!

I woke up yesterday morning at 7:15 a.m., turned onto myleft side with disgust, and thought, “Crap, it’s Monday.” Then I realized thatno, in fact, it was Sunday. And this was Presidents’ Day Weekend. And I wasn’tworking on Monday. The exhilaration I felt, the sheer joy at having a full 48more hours before actually going to work (any time the TV’s on at my house — that’dbe 23 ½ hours a day — it’s some form of “work”) was like little I’d known before.Later that evening, God gave me another gift, a spunky episode of The L Wordcalled “Lesbians Gone Wild.”

Was this it? Would this be the episode we’d all been waitingfor, the one teased in those late November promos that had us agape, clutchingour fists to our chests and asking, “Did they… are they… is that really two women grappling in Turkish oil?!” Oh, it was. And it was good. So good, infact, that I even wished I had a cigarette to smoke when it was all over, justbecause. Dawn Bimbo and Lover Cindy — seriously, it’s out of control how often Dawn refers tothis woman as her “lover,” so I might as well just coin the damnterm — opened up a new can of whoop-ass in their war against Kit with a specialoil-wrestling themed night at SheBar. And you know what? It worked. Because aboutall I saw of The Planet this week was Jodi and her ex-girlfriend chit-chattingabout bladdy-blah-blah in sign language on a patio. No offense to all y’allsigners out there, but I’m thinking they would actually look like they didn’twant to slit their wrists if they’d been having that discussion while watchingNikki roll around in goo while wearing a bra and panties. Don’t you?

addCredit(“The L Word: Paul Michaud”)

Now as for you, Jenny and Nikki: Is this any way to behavewhile you’re making a movie? I love the way Lez Girls is already careening offthe rails. Of course, I’m hard-pressed to tell you exactly how far along theyare in filming this thing. We’re at a pretty early point in the shoot; to havethe director and star not only screwing but wrestling each other in oil inpublic is its own special problem. It’s hard to imagine this will turn out wellfor anybody: Jenny (pictured) won’t be able to explain it away since she hasn’t got a clueabout how to conduct herself in public (she was totally the girl who threwgreen beans at strangers and then scowled at them in the cafeteria) or generate goodpublicity, Tina has no spine, and Nikki has a hot body, so she’ll get offscot-free no matter how Lez Girls turns out — and oh, how I hope it succeeds orfails spectacularly! Actually, the only person who’s winning anything (e.g., myundying support) at this point is Adele, who continued manipulating the situationbeautifully this week. Wasn’t that final shot funny and disturbing at the sametime?

Something else gave me that same queasy feeling in mystomach this week: Colonel Gillian Davis, the prosecuting attorney in Tasha’sdon’t-ask-don’t-tell case and one supreme hardass, from what I’ve gathered sofar. For starters — and we need to get this out of the way now because it’ll killme if I don’t just say it — she looks like Peggy Peabody and Joyce Wischnia’slove child, and even if she was just the product of their mental merging alone,the idea of one person sharing both lineages completely terrifies me. (Sidenote: I grew up with a mother who literally asked of every fifth person she metor saw on the street, “Doesn’t s/he look like Christine Lahti in the face?” soyou’ll have to forgive this bad habit of asking if people look like someone otherthan themselves. It’s totally genetic.) But no, honestly, I’d just throw myhands into the air and give up if I were Tasha. Something is clearly eatingaway at this woman — hint! lamely foreshadowed hint! — and I don’t think she’s goingto let Tasha off that easily. Or, since this is The L Word, she’s going to getTasha off all too easily, right there on her office desk. You just never know.

What do you think? Is Tasha in a lose-lose situation? HaveJenny and Nikki mortally wounded the Les Girls shoot? And was Molly’sdescription of Shane as “The Fonz” of the group the best handle ever, or what?