Live-blogging Ryan Seacrest on E!

5:58 p.m. Hey folks, Slezak here to live-blog E!’s Golden Globes red-carpet coverage with Ryan Seacrest. I hope you’re able to juggle your remote, your keyboard, and a frosty beverage. Let the comments-fest begin!

5:59 p.m. Only one minute till red-carpet coverage begins! If E!’s cameras capture Jennifer Hudson and Vanessa L. Williams together in the same frame, will a pair of angels descend on a puffy cloud and whisk me off to heaven?

6:01 p.m. Seacrest asks guys in the crowd to make catcalls at Heroes‘ Ali Larter. Way to make a girl feel special.

6:03 p.m. Giuliana DiPandi shows her unique ability to segue: “Speaking of creamsicles, Zach Braff!”

6:04 p.m. Mr. Braff demands to know why he’s been minimized while E!’s cameras zero in on Heroes‘ Hayden Panettiere. “You’ve got to find her and do something to her!” he says, admitting he’s never watched his network’s breakout freshman hit.

6:06 p.m. It’s fashion commentator Jay Manuel (of America’s Next Top Model fame), who appears to have raided the costume closet from Interview with the Vampire!

6:07 p.m. Manuel declares that no one does vintage like Reese Witherspoon. Except Natalie Portman. And, oh, J.Lo. And also, that Cate Blanchett will “definitely, probably” wear vintage tonight. And that “old is the new new.” How much do you think blondie’s getting paid?

6:10 p.m. And our first nominee for Most Hostile Red-Carpet Moment goes to John Stamos, who dubs E!’s glam cam as a “crotch cam,” asks Seacrest “Are you hitting on me?,” then ends the chat with the observation, “You work very hard for $20 million a year.” Ouch!

6:16 p.m. IT’S A WILHELMINA SLAAAYTAAAAAHHH SIGHTING!

6:18 p.m. Seacrest asks presenter (!) David Spade “What’s the buzz on the Golden Globes?” His answer is pretty much, “No idea.”

6:23 p.m. Masi Oka (lookin superfly) says “lots of questions will be answered” on Heroes this month. Did he just dis Lost?

6:24 p.m. Vanessa L. Williams just hijacked Oka’s interview with her giant hair and giant fabulousness. And yet it only took her 60 minutes more than Oka to get ready. Impressive!

6:26 p.m. Did Ryan just gesture at her when he said “Globes”?

6:31 p.m. Our second nominee for Most Hostile Red-Carpet Moment: Ryan asks Sienna Miller if she’s “easy,” then spits on her. (Accidentally, but still…)

6:33 p.m. Giuliana uses her interview with Aaron Eckhart to basically ask if Katie Holmes is a freak. And he deflects like a total gentleman!

6:36 p.m. Seacrest asks Little Miss Sunshine‘s Abigail Breslin which stars she’s looking forward to seeing. Being all of 10 years old, she responds by excitedly showing off the hidden mirror in her purse. Damn you, biological clock!

6:40 p.m. Julia Louis-Dreyfus names Judi Dench and Helen Mirren “most likely to misbehave” while drinking at the Globes. She totally read our cover story this week.

6:45 p.m. Tina Fey (gorgeous!) explains the secret to good podium banter: “Be quick and get out.” God, let’s hope all her co-presenters are listening.

6:46 p.m. OMG! Justin and Cameron’s people have asked Globes reps to make sure they arrive at separate times. I so totally do not care!

6:47 p.m. Giuliana continues her fascinating string of questions, asking Rainn Wilson if he has a middle name.

6:54 p.m. Apropos of nothing: Those Glade Scented Oil Candles commercials freak me out. I don’t want my living room to turn pink and smell like old lady. Am I right?

6:58 p.m. Eva Longoria flashes a diamond engagement ring the size of my big toe. And I don’t care what anyone says, she’s the funniest thing on Desperate Housewives two seasons running. How the hell is she not nominated?

7:00 p.m. Somehow Seacrest entices Jessica Biel for an interview by telling her that he and Longoria want her body.

7:01 p.m. Marc Anthony refuses to join J.Lo for her Seacrest interview. And who cares? I don’t need to see him anyway!

7:02 p.m. I’m going to risk the PopWatch lynch mob by also declaring my love for Ellen Pompeo. You got a problem with that?

7:04 p.m. Every time Giuliana interviews someone, I sink into an emotional coma. I’m also going to admit I don’t know who Dane Cook’s date is. Anyone? Am I sharing too much?

7:08 p.m. Our fourth nominee for Most Hostile Red-Carpet Moment: Seacrest gets Isaiah Washington, Kyra Sedgwick, Chandra Wilson, and James Pickens, Jr., for a group interview. And naturally, Ryan jokes that Washington had to arrive separately from costar Patrick Dempsey. Washington mumbles something about being honored to be there. Everyone else tries to pretend it didn’t happen.

7:10 p.m. I’m not sure how Seacrest made his interview with double nominee Leonardo DiCaprio a total snoozefest, but he totally…zzzzz.

7:12 p.m. News you can use: The Blood Diamond changed Giuliana’s view on the world and diamonds.

7:16 p.m. Patrick Dempsey grabs Seacrest’s mic and threatens to hijack the telecast. Sadly, he’s only joking.

7:22 p.m. Giuliana asks Grey’s star Kate Walsh what she’s looking for in a man, and if she wants a man who’s in or out of the business. Is there no one at E! who can help this woman conduct an interview.7:24 p.m. Mark Wahlberg uses the word “journey” to describe Entourage, sounds oddly like the other Mark (L.) Walberg.7:27 p.m. Yay for commercial breaks! What’s everyone eating? I’m scarfing down a chicken Caesar sandwich and cranberry couscous salad. And I’ve got an I.V. drip of Diet Coke.7:31 p.m. E!’s home-audience correspondent winner is rockin’ it with Hugh Laurie…Giuliana, are you taking notes?7:35 p.m. Jeremy Piven’s mom: “When he was in my stomach, he was punching especially when we walked past a toy store.” Awesome interview abruptly cut short by…7:36 p.m. Brad and Angelina! I can’t see! TOO PRETTY!7:37 p.m. News you can use: The Jolie-Pitts had cereal for breakfast.7:38 p.m. Brad says he and Angelina want to “Start our own country, enter the World Cup, and dominate it.” Dude’s pretty funny. Angelina remains silent. And glamorous.7:44 p.m. Whoa! Evangeline Lilly tells Seacrest, “I don’t know that I would quit the show, but I would quit the industry. I will at one point. I have to. We all have to eventually,” then follows up that, “One day I won’t be an actress.” Well that’s a fine how-do-you-do!7:48 p.m. Steve Carell’s wife, Nancy Walls, jokes success has turned her husband into “a nice guy.”7:50 p.m. Can someone get Seacrest a working mic? 7:51 p.m. Sorry, Eddie Murphy, but we can’t hear what you’re saying. We’re just gonna cut to Beyonce’s perfect bazooms to distract everyone.7:52 p.m. Beyoncé redefines Golden Globes. (Sorry.)7:54 p.m. Debbie Maten-I-Don’t-Have-The-Time-Or-Inclination-to-Spell-Check-It declares Angelina Jolie looked angry because she “wanted to be in a third-world country saving kids, because she’s that kind of girl.” And I think she’s being serious.7:58 p.m. Seacrest is talking about some poll. Time for me to do some stretches. See you on the Golden Globes live-blog in 2 minutes!