The Wit and Wisdom of Rudy

Colleen had the skankiest legs, Sean the dumbest voting strategy, Susan the worst accent, and Rudy, well, he was clearly the most philosophical. Week after week, he’d leave us with at least one universal truth to ponder. After perusing the following compendium of his geriatric gems, ask yourself this question: Rudy Boesch, grumpy old man or … really grumpy old man?

ON GENERATION X
”The hardest part is hanging around with all these young kids. I don’t even know what MTV means, you know … Trying to keep them all shut up is hard. If they’d listen to me, they’d all have haircuts and … we’d be in formation in the morning and all that kind of stuff. But they’re not going to do that. I gotta fit in, not them, you know, there’s more of them than there is of me.”

ON MAKING NEW FRIENDS
”The homosexual, he’s one of the nicest guys I ever met.”

ON ISLAND MEMORIES
”When I go home, my wife asks me about who was with ya, I’ll say a queer that ran around bare-ass half of the time for one thing.”

ON HIS TRIBAL COUNCIL STRATEGY
”I’m gonna vote Stacey out at the council tonight ’cause I don’t like her and I never will.”

ON THE OPPOSITE SEX
”I thought about a female alliance and watching them the way they walked around hand in hand, uh, I even thought about lesbianism. But, uh, maybe not. I don’t know. And, uh, it could happen if they had any brains, but I don’t think they got enough brains to do that.”

ON HOSPITALITY
”All of a sudden, we doubled our population. The house got smaller. The pots got smaller. And, uh, personally, it’s a pain in the ass.”

ON PURITY
”Some of the stuff they talk about don’t interest me and I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t know, they talk about a lot of sex stuff.”

ON SPORTSMANSHIP
”I seen the light. If you want to win this money, you gotta get a little dirty.”

ON MONEY
”Money talks.”

ON BEING A SEX SYMBOL
”I was in there last night, and when the rain came, all them women eased down our way and I had about five women in my lap all of a sudden … Hey, I’m the old guy, don’t forget. Them young guys mighta liked it. It’s a pain in the ass to me.”

ON GOOD NUTRITION
”I ain’t above eatin’.”

ON SIBLING SILLINESS
”I can’t understand a guy talkin’ to his sister that way. It sounded like Greg was, uh, talkin’ maybe incest. That’s the way it sounded to me.”

ON FAMILY VALUES
”I don’t agree with, uh, babies outta wedlock, that kind of garbage, you know. Half of the problem they got in this country today, there’s no family life, and then they’re blaming the schools. It starts way before them kids go to school. They need a family. They need somebody beatin’ ’em in the head.”

ON FORGIVENESS
”If I got f—ed along the way by somebody that gave me their word, I’d do something to ’em.”

ON AGING
”Not that my brain’s any good, but, uh, I’d rather use that than my muscles, ’cause the muscles hurt now.”

ON BEING STUBBORN
”I ain’t stubborn.”