Much Ado About Nothing

The latest details to leak out about the May 14 “Seinfeld” finale are that Kramer swallows Jerry’s apartment key and that one of Jerry’s old girlfriends is engaged to one of Elaine’s ex-beaus. NBC isn’t saying if these rumors are true. But if you ask Larry David (series co-creator and scriptwriter of the final episode) this frenzied desire to know all before the show airs is a case of Costanza-size neurosis. David told EW Online that the hyper-obsessed journalists and “Seinfeld” speculators are “a lot of mental cases with time on their hands.”

According to David, who returned to pen the series send-off after two years away from the show, these plot detectives “feel that to know the ending is to be in the ‘in’ crowd, and they want to be in, too. But they should know that if I know, it can’t be an ‘in’ crowd, since I’m rarely in an ‘in’ crowd.”

David was shocked by the hush hush secrecy and media hullabaloo surrounding the April 8 taping of the final episode — an invite-only event that required each guest to sign a confidentiality agreement: “Every now and then Jerry and I would look at each other and say, ‘What the hell happened?’ You’ve got to understand, we’re the same people we were at the beginning of the series. We were just in this room writing this thing. We have no idea how this success happened.” Oh, it was nothing.