Parents' Guide

As kids head back to school, Hollywood is catching up on its reading. There are new movies based on a popular children’s series (The Baby-Sitters Club) and a short story (Lord of Illusions). Plus: mythology (Magic in the Water), endangered species (The Amazing Panda Adventure), and computer viruses (Hackers). And there are electives for all kids, whether they’re carrying lunchboxes or laptops.

MOVIES
ANGUS
What It’s About: Good-hearted but overweight geek Angus (Charlie Talbert) spends his high school freshman year just trying to fit in.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? Slim chance. Though the movie is well-intentioned and filled with positive messages, only kids who admit they can relate to Angus‘ teen angst will appreciate this pubescent version of Rocky.
MPAA: PG-13.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Drugs/Alcohol: None.
Violence/ Scariness: A relative dies; Angus repeatedly breaks the nose of a tormentor; Angus’ friend, fellow outcast Troy (Chris Owen), is thrown into a Dumpster and locked in a locker.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 40 (phrases such as ”screw ’em”).
Lessons to Extract: Be yourself; don’t judge people by their looks.
Appropriate Ages: 10 and up.

THE AMAZING PANDA ADVENTURE
What It’s About: Young Ryan (Ryan Slater) travels to China to join his father in the fight to save the pandas.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? Amazingly, no. These adorable animals should have ensured a hit, but the humans are unappealing, and the story is just a generic kids-in-peril tale.
MPAA: PG.
Sex/Nudity: Ryan and his female friend, Ling, take off their clothes behind some bushes to check for leeches.
Drugs/Alcohol: Rice wine at a village celebration.
Violence/Scariness: Poachers trap a mother panda and her cub, shoot Ryan’s father, and shoot at Ryan; Ryan and Ling almost drown in a raging river and face snakes, bulls, and leeches; the two pandas get sick.
Objectionable Words/ Phrases: One.
Lesson to Extract: People have to take care of the animals — and each other.
Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.

THE BABY-SITTERS CLUB
What It’s About: Seven adolescent heroines spend the summer cleaning up messes, breaking up fights, and wiping up tears — both their young charges’ and each other’s.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? If the books in print — 125 million — translate into moviegoers, yes.
MPAA: PG.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Drugs/Alcohol: None.
Violence/Scariness: Kristy (Schuyler Fisk) gets stranded at an amusement park during a storm when her father (Peter Horton) stands her up.
Objectionable Words/ Phrases: Two.
Lesson to Extract: Good friends are always there for you.
Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.

DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE
What It’s About: Dr. Richard Jacks (Tim Daly) messes with the formulas that got greatgrandfather Dr. Jekyll into trouble and turns himself into corporate climber Hel en Hyde (Sean Young).
Will Kids Want to Watch It? No. Although they’ll get a few laughs out of embarrassing bodily changes, this is a one-joke movie. Girls won’t appreciate the message that men’s idea of a monster is an ambitious female.
MPAA: PG-13.
Sex/Nudity: Repeated looks at her bare breasts and his bare buttocks; sexual references.
Drugs/Alcohol: Drinking at parties; Richard and his girlfriend have champagne.
Violence/Scariness: Helen burns a scientist with sulfuric acid and gives him an electric shock; Richard cuts his wrist with a knife.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 40.
Lesson to Extract: You have to balance your male and female sides.
Appropriate Ages: 12 and up.

HACKERS
What It’s About: Student hackers, led by Dade (Jonny Lee Miller) and Kate (Angelina Jolie), team up to battle the Plague (Fisher Stevens), a master corporate hacker who is trying to frame them for his own conspiracy.
Will Kids Want To Watch It? Yes, they’ll probably get on line for it even though the movie is more style than substance.
MPAA: PG-13.
Sex/Nudity: A male hacker’s bare backside as he’s arrested coming out of the shower; a glimpse of Kate’s breast in Dade’s dream; Kate in a see-through shirt.
Drugs/Alcohol: Students drink at a party; the Plague has a champagne toast with his accomplice (Lorraine Bracco).
Violence/Scariness: Armed Secret Service agents chase after the students and arrest some of them.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 45.
Lessons to Extract: Technology must be used responsibly; if you are computer literate, the world is at your fingertips.
Appropriate Ages: 12 and up.

LORD OF ILLUSIONS
What It’s About: Private eye Harry D’Amour (Scott Bakula) investigates the world of magic and its relation to an evil cult led by the demonic Nix (Daniel Von Bargen). Will Kids Want to Watch It? If they do, the trick will be to practice mind control and make them change theirs. The movie is vile, sadistic, and not for children.
MPAA: R.
Sex/Nudity: Two bare-breasted women and a man with his butt exposed in a menage a trois.
Drugs/Alcohol: Magicians drink during dinner; D’Amour’s client has cocktails.
Violence/Scariness: 109 minutes’ worth. There are stabbings, impalings, electrocutions, and an iron mask nailed into Nix’s head.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 50.
Lesson to Extract: Don’t believe everything you see.
Appropriate Ages: 17 and up.

MAGIC IN THE WATER
What It’s About: Ten-year-old Ashley (Sarah Wayne) befriends a mythical sea creature named Orky while on vacation with her workaholic dad (Mark Harmon) and cynical older brother (Joshua Jackson).
Will Kids Want to Watch It? It’s iffy. Although the appealing idea hints of E.T., the movie focuses too much on the grown-ups and Orky is seen only briefly.
MPAA: PG.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Drugs/Alcohol: A man gets drunk.
Violence/Scariness: Ashley falls off a ladder, and her dad suffers a concussion; the kids get trapped underwater; Orky gets sick.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 10.
Lessons to Extract: Parents need to stay in touch with their inner child and their real offspring; the world’s full of incredible things if you’re open-minded; pollution kills.
Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.

MORTAL KOMBAT
What It’s About: There is some story line about three warriors who try to save earth from an evil sorcerer, but suffice it to say, this is the big-screen version of the popular videogame.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? You bet your life, but if you give your children the ticket price in quarters and let them loose in the arcade instead, they’ll get exactly the same thing out of it.
MPAA: PG-13.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Drugs/Alcohol: Wine spills during a meal.
Violence/ Scariness: Martial arts to the max, gross-looking monsters, and a flying head, but little of the blood that made the video game so controversial.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: Seven.
Lessons to Extract: The soul is the most important part of a warrior; you have to face your fears before you can conquer them.
Appropriate Ages: 12 and up.

TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR
What It’s About: Drag queens Noxeema (Wesley Snipes), Vida (Patrick Swayze), and Chi Chi (John Leguizamo) teach a small Midwestern town about fabulousness when they’re sidetracked during a car trip to Hollywood.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? If they can get past the title, teenagers may find the movie hysterical, but younger kids will probably just be confused.
MPAA: PG-13.
Sex/Nudity: None, though the theme of transvestism is bound to raise a few questions.
Drugs/Alcohol: The sheriff (Chris Penn) drinks in a bar; the town mechanic has a beer; the boys/girls share a bottle of wine with their host (Stockard Channing).
Violence/Scariness: Vida almost kills the sheriff by accident; the mechanic is a wife beater.
Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 10.
Lesson to Extract: Be yourself.
Appropriate Ages: 13 and up.