''Cheers'' farewell: The cast speaks

Whom would you cast in your role in a Cheers movie?
Kirstie Alley: Claudia Schiffer, ’cause she looks just like me.
John Ratzenberger: The guy who used to say ”Yeeesssss” on The Jack Benny Show.
George Wendt: People have said John Goodman, but I think Paul Willson (who plays fellow Cheers barfly Paul).
Kelsey Grammer: Orson Welles. Frankly, there is no living actor who could play Frasier.
Rhea Perlman: No way anyone plays this part but me!
Ted Danson: I’m not going near that question. Tell you the truth, I wasn’t right for this part either. And it took three years for me to get it right.

What drink best describes your personality, or what’s your favorite drink?
George: Beer, what else? I love beer. But because of this show I never get to go to bars.
Shelley Long: I’m a margarita — hold the salt.
Kelsey: My poison of choice when I drank was gin, but Frasier’s on a bad day would be scotch and water and on a good day would be a beer or two.
Kirstie: Water. I’m always clear.
Ted: I’m a Long Island iced tea. It sneaks up on you and knocks you out.

What were the best pranks you pulled or had pulled on you?
Woody Harrelson: When Ted pulled my pants down in front of 100 extras.
Ted: Woody got me back. He took a Polaroid of me in the shower and put it on the yearly gag reel, so 200 people saw it. Luckily, I had fluffed up before he took the picture, so I was looking good.
Kelsey: I was always a bystander. Woody was the ultimate prankster, but that’s why he was the ultimate victim.
George: If you watch the show closely, sometimes you can see a spitball hit Woody in the middle of a difficult speech. I try to hit his mouth.
John: Woody squirted me with a water pistol once. I said, ”Please don’t do that again.” And he did. So the next day I filled this garbage bag with water and waited for him to walk under a doorway. He never squirted me again.
Kirstie: John carries this little machine around with him that makes belching and farting noises. I can’t believe he forgot to mention that.

Where do you see your character in 10 years?
George: He’s going to be in AA.
John: Selling banana bread on a dock in Key West.
Shelley: I can’t tell you that! That would give away the ending of the final episode. I will say she will be happier and more fulfilled as a person.
Kelsey: I see Frasier in Tahiti, painting. (Actually he might still be on the NBC spin-off Frasier, currently filming on Cheers‘ old soundstage.)
Kirstie: Where do I see Rebecca? I don’t. She’s history. She ends.
Rhea: She will be working at Cheers. And her youngest will be just about out of the house. Of course, knowing Carla, she could have a few more…

Would you do a Cheers reunion show?
John: I would do one, and I’m sure someday we’ll be asked.
George: In a minute. I just wouldn’t want us to look pathetic.
Shelley: I never even thought this call would come. I was doing my own show and the producers heard I was too busy. I would never be too busy for this.
Ted: Why not? I’m embarrassed to tell you how attached I have gotten to making money.
Kelsey: It’s inevitable. Depending upon our careers, we might all be jumping at the chance.
Rhea: Who knows? I’ve never gone to a reunion in my life. I hate looking back.
Kirstie: Never. I don’t go back. My opinion about reunion shows is that they are so audiences can go, ”Gee, they look 10 years older.” Well, duh, hello, it has been 10 years!

The entire cast is on a plane that develops engine trouble. There’s only one parachute. Who gets it, and why?
Ted: F— ’em all. I would take the f—ing parachute for myself, thanks, and why not? I’m the leading man and the star of this goddamn show!
Kirstie: Me, because I’m the funniest.
Shelley: I couldn’t possibly answer that for the real people. But for the characters, I would give it to Norm. He deserves another chance at life.
George: I’d give it to Rhea, because she has the most kids. Actually, we have the same number, but she’s a mom.
Kelsey: The most glorious choice — and we’d be capable of making it — would be all to agree to throw the parachute off the plane and go down together, as one, in a blaze of glory.