Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Slotherhouse’ on Hulu, a Dopey Killer-Sloth Horror-Comedy That Isn’t Nearly as Crazy as Its Title

This week on The Title Might Be Better Than the Movie Theater is Slotherhouse (now streaming on Hulu), a gimmicky slasher-comedy in which a cuddly widdle adowable slothy-poo goes homicidal on a bunch of sorority ladies. The A List star Lisa Ambalavanar leads a cast that plays second fiddle to an awesomely cheesy animatronic creature that coos like a Mogwai and uses its claws to slash your guts out like Freddy Krueger. Ostensibly, at least, since this is one of those PG-13 “horror” frustrations that cuts away as soon as the cutting starts. But maybe it’ll be funny enough to make up for the lack of splatter? Let’s find out.

SLOTHERHOUSE: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: DARIEN GAP, PANAMA: A li’l sloth peacefully munches on some foliage overhanging a river when SNATCH-O, a croc leaps from the water to get some lunch. But! That croc didn’t know what he was f—ing with. A moment later, the lizard surfaces, dead with grisly slash marks on its tender underbelly. And another moment later, a skeezy poacher fires a tranq dart in the sloth’s neck, thus sealing his fate, “his” being the poacher’s, of course, but let’s not get too far ahead of the plot here. 

Now we shift to somewhere in America, where it’s move-in day at a Delta-Delta-Delta-may-I-help-ya-help-ya-help-ya sorority. Jokey social media bubbles pop up to identify the characters’ single one-liner traits: This one’s a moron, this other one’s a bubblehead and that one over there might be gay? Emily (Ambalavanar) is our protagonist, and she’s the relative normie here, which means she doesn’t have much in the way of personality but at least her character is more than just a joke, I guess. Her mother was president of the sorority, so she’s considering running against her ultranasty rival Brianna (Sydney Craven), who’s judgy and sneering and passive-aggressive and all that. How dumb is Brianna? She spells it “presadent” on her campaign posters. Whatta idiot!!!!11!!!1!!1!

For some reason, we should note Emily’s allies and roommates – Zenny (Bianca Beckles-Rose) is the comic relief and Madison (Olivia Rouyre) is the voice of reason. The latter comes into play once Emily, what with one thing and another, acquires a sweet little sloth, strategizing that its undeniable cuteness will pump up her social media clout and lead her to electoral victory at Sigma Lambda Theta, and ignoring Madison’s well-reasoned protest about the perils of caring for exotic animals that would surely never, ever kill the shit out of anyone. Emily names the furry little gal Alpha, and the sloth becomes the sorority mascot, and there’s no mention whatsoever as to where it poops and who cleans it up, although there of course is a gag where Brianna ends up eating sloth crap during a brutal pledge-week dodgeball game. Anyway, the sloth starts killing sorority members and soon reveals several remarkable human qualities ranging from a thirst for beer to driving Emily’s $50,000 Ford Mustang to curating an Instagram feed. Are we laughing yet?

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Slothterhouse brings to mind and/or directly/indirectly references the following: Harry and the Hendersons, Gremlins, Critters, E.T., Zootopia, Tusk, Suspiria, Black Christmas, Psycho, Drag Me to Hell, M3GAN, Spider-Man 2 and The Empire Strikes Back. 

Performance Worth Watching: The only cast member who almost cuts through this assemblage of stereotypical characters is Tiff Stevenson, who at least goes big and campy as the sorority mother who’s always crocked on cocktails.

Memorable Dialogue: “Did you see the look in her eye? She’s like a cute Chucky!” – Brianna shows she possesses at least a modicum of cinema knowledge

Sex and Skin: None. 

Our Take: Are we at the point where we feel obligated to praise dumbass movies just because they forego CGI for practical effects? I guess so: Hooray for Slotherhouse for being a dumbass movie foregoing CGI for practical effects. This amusingly unrealistic animatronic sloth makes Baby Yoda look as real as Willem Dafoe in Antichrist, and that’s no doubt fully intentional, part of the film’s intentionally winky-cheesy vibe. It’s initially amusing to see the totes-adorbs fuzzo be the subject of “scary,” lightning-illuminated horror-flick shots as it crawls through the chapter house, looking for a bimbo to murder. But that’s a joke with a short wick, and once that firecracker pops, Alpha ends up adopting so many non-slothlike traits – one of the primary gags? The sloth is actually fast as a shark, baby! – that the movie becomes yet another rote tongue-in-cheek kill-’em-one-by-one slasher with a disappointing lack of creative kills. At least the Cocaine Bear acted mostly like a bear.

And like the similarly uninspired Cocaine Bear, the it’s-more-movie-title-than-movie criticism applies to Slotherhouse. Admittedly, I probably wasn’t drunk and/or high enough to fully appreciate it – but there might not be enough Natty Ice or blueberry-plum gummies in the world to make the premise funny for more than about 10, maybe 15 minutes. Director Matthew Goodhue “borrows” shots from Spielberg and Joe Dante, and lets clunky attempts at Screamlike self-awareness and blatantly “borrowed” lines of iconic dialogue from other movies slide, as if they’re viable comedy. Well, guess what? They’re not! I understand that a killer-sloth movie should never, ever be taken seriously, and any attempts to siphon an ecological respect-the-wildlife message from the subtext is, well, just dumb. I understand that anything called Slotherhouse needn’t ever be taken seriously, but beyond that pun, the movie barely has an original thought in its head.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Slotherhouse ultimately lacks the nerve and creativity to be the gonzoid-nutso movie it needs to be.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.