Stream It Or Skip It: ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ on Hulu, in Which Jack Harlow and Sinqua Walls Try to Box Out Woody and Wesley

This week on Please Don’t Make Me Try To Remember Movies From 30 Years Ago Theatre is White Men Can’t Jump (now on Hulu), a remake/re-do/rehab/refurb of the 1991 hit basketball comedy starring Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. Directing his second early-’90s remake of 2023 (the first being the LeBron James-produced House Party), filmmaker Calmatic pairs American Soul star Sinqua Walls with hip-hop artist Jack Harlow, in his feature film debut, as the odd couple trying to earn some scratch by shit-talking their way through pickup games. Honestly, debating the necessity of remakes like this is moot; it’s here whether you want it to be or not, so maybe we can make the best of it.

WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: In 2010, Kamal Allen (Walls) had the world on a string: Budding basketball star, top college recruit, interviewed on ESPN, fully supported by his loving father (the late Lance Reddick). But now, 10 years hence, he’s shuffling sadly through life, haunted by what could’ve been. As the guy once said, WHA HAPPEN’D? That’s not for me to spoil – that’s the job of the inevitable flashback. But there’s reference to his being arrested, an event that precipitated a series of events that finds him delivering packages and barely tolerating requests for selfies when he gets recognized, then going home to his cute little son and his wife, Imani (Teyana Taylor), who’s saving to open her own salon, and also so grounded and supportive, and believably so, you’d think this was a realist drama instead of a remake of a broad comedy. 

But Kamal hasn’t given up on the game he loves. He and his buds (Vince Staples and Myles Bullock) hit the gyms and parks for pickup games – and Kamal still has the moves, the stroke. He’s on the court one day when this White doofus in tie-dye and Birkenstocks offers Kamal some unsolicited criticism and gets in his head and beats him in a shootout. Hustled – that’s the way the cookie bounces, yo. That’s Jeremy (Harlow), a former Gonzaga standout whose sad story is told by the two big scars on his knees. Now he almost maybe scrapes by, selling his all-natural homemade detox snake-oil juice and offering one-on-one training to hoops hopefuls. One of Jeremy’s key traits is, he talks. A lot. Always with the lip-flap about vegan this and holistic that and meditation the other, and one of the things that yammers out of his mouth is more pragmatic: a proposal to Kamal, that they pair up to hustle dudes on the court. Jeremy’s the ringer, because he looks like such a putz – “Bon Iver concert canceled, homie?” is an example of some of the shots fired at him – and who wouldn’t want an opportunity to take down a former hot-shit superstar?   

The ploy works, because Kamal’s a talent and Jeremy can shit-talk his way into their opponents’ heads. It not only helps each fella stave off their pending obsolescence, and keep playing their beloved sport, and make their S.O.s happy by bringing home some extra cash, but they also become, gulp, pals. Unlikely compadres. Slightly begrudging friends – it takes a while for Kamal to warm up to Jeremy, who’s a bit extra, but he mostly means well. Their goal isn’t just to help pay the bills, but to use some of their earnings to cover tournament entry fees; there’s talk of one with a $500k prize but then they end up at one with a $25k pot but not before there’s a hoopin’-it-up musical montage and besides, they’ll get to the big tourney eventually. Meanwhile, Jeremy’s been fibbing to his girlfriend about how he’s earning his money, and he might just be addicted to painkillers because of his knees. Kamal gets a meanwhile too, about his father, who’s had MS for many years and isn’t doing very well. Both these guys’ lives have been kinda stuck in neutral for a while, so is it about time they learned that it’s not about whether you win or lose, but the friends you made along the way? 

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: So many basketball movies lately: Champions, Air, Hustle, um, Space Jam: A New Legacy. The new White Men Can’t Jump tames some of the raunch of the original and subs in neo-bromance; it’s kind of like I Love You Man crossed with, I dunno, The Air Up There.

Performance Worth Watching: There is no Rosie Perez-caliber performance in this WMCJ, I’m sad to report. But Walls is a rock-solid anchor for this one, with smartly understated comic timing and a firm finger on the movie’s emotional pulse.

Memorable Dialogue: The film critic selects the following exchange as the movie’s most amusing:

Jeremy: I’m like the P.T. Anderson of basketball psychological warfare. 

Kamal: Who the f— is P.T. Anderson?

Jeremy: Our greatest living director!

Kamal: Spike Lee is our greatest living director.

Jeremy: Spike Lee isn’t even a good Knicks fan.

Kamal: I knew this was a mistake.

Sex and Skin: A nude man-butt in a locker room. Funny sidebar: There’s not even a shirts-vs.-skins game in this movie!

Our Take: OK, brush away the cobwebs and recall what sticks in the brain about the O.G. WMCJ: an epic Rosie Perez, some livewire smack-talk, and that whole subplot about how the White guy can’t dunk, which ties in with the title of the movie. The new film is tame by 1992 standards, although by 2023 standards, Kamal and Jeremy’s good-natured back-and-forth generalizing Black and White culture is a touch prickly. And the running dunk joke is reduced to one throwaway line deep in the third act, which might be disappointing to committed nostalgists, but signals that the new film might be trying to do something different – whatever that may be, considering it’s mooshy and unfocused, and not a movie about the sport or Los Angeles basketball culture, or even a juxtaposition of today’s cultural sensibilities with those of 30 years ago. Our principals just banter with a playful edge and move on – they take their shots, then they take the court and take their shots. 

That doesn’t mean the subtext is barren – it’s a story of two not-old-but-not-really-young men who seem to be from different worlds, but really aren’t. They eventually realize they have more in common than not, and that’s why they become friends. Heady stuff? Not really, but the film’s tone is generally agreeable, middleweight comedy merging reasonably well with light-middleweight drama. Calmatic spins his wheels during a saggy midsection, banking a little too heavily on the appeal of swish-and-swat-and-slamdunk montages set to ‘Whoomp! (There it Is)’ and other cornball soundtrack choices. 

The screenplay, by Kenya Barris and Doug Hall, gives Reddick a speech with some gravitas, renders the Jeremy character about two-thirds written and dishes out dialogue that crackles and sparks early on but succumbs to cliches when the emotional rubber hits the road (“You don’t need therapy – basketball is your therapy”). But look past some of the clutter – and the baggage that comes with remaking what’s already a pretty good movie – and you’ll realize its emphasis on relationships drives the story. The film is by no means an inspired reinvention of the original, but it gives us two guys worth rooting for, and sometimes, that’s enough. 

Our Call: STREAM IT. This White Men Can’t Jump won’t supplant the original movie in the annals of history, but it offers enough laughs and pathos to warrant 100 minutes of your time.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.