Melissa Villaseñor Reveals “Panic Attacks” Contributed to Her Decision to Leave ‘SNL’: “I Always Felt Like I Was on The Edge of a Cliff”

Saturday Night Live alum Melissa Villaseñor is opening up about her decision to leave the long-running sketch comedy show. The comedian, who was the first Latina to be promoted to repertory status, was one of eight cast members to exit, with Pete Davidson, Aidy Bryant, and Kate McKinnon also among the bunch.

While making an appearance on The Daily Beast’s Last Laugh podcast, Villaseñor said her decision to leave all boiled down to her mental health. She revealed, “Last season, I had a couple of panic attacks. I was struggling. I always felt like I was on the edge of a cliff every week. I was like, ‘I don’t want to be doing that to myself anymore.'”

She added, “It’s not like the show was mean towards me or anyone. It was just how I handle things. I think I’m an introvert,” before going on to say, “When I’m in a big group of a lot of amazing people, and everyone’s speaking over everyone else, I think I tend to get small. I get nervous, like, where do I fit? What am I supposed to do?”

When coming to grips with the decision, Villaseñor said, “I was like, I think I’m OK. I feel like there’s nothing else that I feel like, oh, I need to be sharing this, I want to do this on the show. I think I’m ready. There was just something telling me, I think I could part ways.”

The actress, who starred on SNL for six seasons, pointed out that she is “so grateful” to everyone on the show for having her and that “this was all I wanted as a kid.” She said, “I’m going to carry that forever in my heart, that I got to experience that in my life.”

Saturday Night Live airs Saturday nights at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC.