The Cast Of ‘The Sex Lives Of College Girls’ Bonded While Playing The Card Game ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’

Mindy Kaling’s new teen comedy on HBO Max sounds like the raunchy female-led version of Animal House, but The Sex Lives of College Girls is much more interested in exploring the nuances of sex and the college setting through the eyes of four different types of women.
Bela (Amrit Kaur) has her sights set on joining the elite Onion-style newspaper on campus, willing to do anything it takes to get there. Kimberly (Pauline Chalamet) comes from a small Arizona town and grapples with how to fit in amongst a bunch of privileged kids. Whitney (Alyah Chanelle Scott) is a Washington Senator’s daughter and a star soccer player, but that doesn’t stop her from finding herself in an illicit affair with her soccer coach. And Leighton (Renee Rapp), a legacy student who feels above it all, hides her sexuality from everyone.

Decider spoke with all four relative newcomers and scene-stealers about the casting process, their approach to the varied characters, and air fryers.

DECIDER: What was the casting process like for each of you?

Alyah Chanelle Scott: Well, it was all virtual so that was a bit strange. But honestly, I loved it because I’m the type of person that’s so anxious all the time that anytime I go in for something I just know I’m gonna bomb it. But this was all virtual so I got to be in my own space and I got to just open my computer and when I was done, close my computer and move on. But at the same time, it definitely felt like it wasn’t happening because we were auditioning in the thick of the pandemic and…so many productions were being stopped and cancelled. I don’t think I believed it was real until I was there, at Warner Brothers with [the cast and crew] like, okay we do have jobs, this is happening, we’re gonna make a show.

Reneé Rapp: I remember talking to my agents about auditioning for TV and film because I was in a previous job where I wasn’t auditioning for anything else. Then when the pandemic hit, [my agents] were like “you should audition for TV and film!” and I was like, that is hilarious that you think I can do that. So I did this self tape a couple weeks after…I like to audition, it’s fun. But when my agent called me and was like, you have a call back for this show and I audibly laughed. I’ve never gotten a call back. The entire thing was so crazy that I just did not believe it. And then we were on a big zoom room for a callback day and I could hear the voices of god, AKA Mindy [Kaling] and Howard [Klein, executive producer] talking and it was so cool and felt very surreal. It still feels very surreal.

Amrit Kaur: I didn’t get the part three times. One, I wasn’t supposed to even audition because only people with an O-1 visa were supposed to audition. So, I auditioned and they found out I didn’t have my O-1 visa, so they cancelled my producer/director session. But then we convinced them that we could fast-track my O-1 visa and then it was on again. And then we applied for my O-1 visa. I didn’t get it the first time and then they had to get Mindy and Justin and everybody to try to pretend that I’m the most extraordinary person on the planet and no one else can play this part except for me. I definitely needed to calm my ego down after that one. Then I finally got the part. So, there was something in the world, Waheguru and I’m very grateful it was meant to be but it was “no” three times.

Once you were all cast, was there anything special that you did to bond and get into the roommate mentality?

Alyah Chanelle Scott: First we met on FaceTime or Zoom. I don’t remember who but one of us had their shit together and put this meeting together… It was Amrit! And the rest of us just showed up and I think we were all so like, what is happening? All I remember is Reneé talking about buying an air fryer for like 10 minutes.

Amrit Kaur: Which I bought and I got HBO to send one to everyone!

Alyah Chanelle Scott: You did, you did.

Reneé Rapp: I was just like, we can’t go anywhere. At this point we had been in the pandemic for I don’t know how long and the only thing getting me through was this damn air fryer. It had changed my life. I was like, we’re getting one. I’m gonna buy one and you guys can all use it, we’ll pass it around the rooms.

Alyah Chanelle Scott: You were so prepared. For that one thing. But then, the first time we got together in person we…couldn’t. We got all these emails about how we’re not allowed to go into each other’s rooms, it is the pandemic, you can’t see each other. I’m a very anxious person and I have a hard time meeting people, so I brought the card game We’re Not Really Strangers, which is basically a bunch of question cards. I was like, “Hey, do you guys wanna sit outside 6 feet apart and play a game?” and they said yes! So, we all sat outside and played this card game and we really bonded over it.

I know that some, if not all, of you have attended college in real life. I’m curious if you drew on those experiences to get into character? Alyah, I think I saw that you went to Michigan and that’s my alma mater, too. Go Blue!

Alyah Chanelle Scott: Go Blue! Yeah, so you know what that’s like, we know how to party. You walk down the street to the Big House and it’s like, red solo cups and tarps everywhere… and it’s great! I very much knew what that felt like, but as you know it’s a predominantly white school and you really have to find your tribe and find your people. I think Whitney goes through that, and any person of color going away to a large school with a predominantly white student body sort of has that experience. So that felt familiar and being away from home all the way across the country felt familiar and just trying to figure out who you are without the burden of your parents or your friends from home holding you to a version of yourself. You really get to be free and explore all that you are.

Pauline Chalamet: I thought about what it was like when you arrive on campus and you don’t know anyone. You have to make friends and you’re forced to live with a roommate and …what is that? How do you live with somebody that you don’t know? I really just thought more about the very beginning of those feelings. But then as Kimberly progressed it really became her own college experience that in many ways I was able to relate to through my own experience, like having to work while in college. But, otherwise it’s very much her own experience.

Reneé Rapp: I didn’t go to school but I do think that a lot of the newness and discovery that comes along with leaving your house for the first time and being able to figure out who you are without the judgment of your parents and your family and the town you grew up in was really helpful for me. It was all those little facets of newness and fear, but also excitement and worry and meeting new people, and being dropped in the middle of nowhere and not knowing anybody. All of my friends, family and close people in my life are in New York. So being in LA [for this show] was a big difference, and is still. But I think partly I feel like I can kind of relate in a sense to the collegiate experience of being dropped in a new place and having to navigate new situations that you are really afraid of.

Amrit Kaur: I went into theater school thinking the white beauty was ideal, and a lot of shows don’t talk about South Asian shame. And we don’t talk about this on the nose in this show, but Bela leaves high school wanting to be a white person. She’s going into this school with a lot of white people. She straightens her hair, dresses the way she thinks white people dress, loses a lot of weight, and she’s not in reality of being South Asian and what the world thinks of being South Asian and what the world thinks of being a woman. So she goes into this school and she has to face the reality that people aren’t going to give her work or let her succeed as a result of her color and her gender. And I experienced a lot of that as well.

I actually was curious about Bela since she clearly has some shades of Mindy Kaling’s experience at school. Did she give you any stories or pointers on how to craft Bela and did it influence your performance in any way?

Amrit Kaur: Well she really just wrote the thing and wanted me as an actor to explore it the way I wanted to. I read all of her books, I did a lot of research on her. In the dinner scene [in upcoming episode 6] it was very particular what the relationship was with her parents. I think a lot of us had very strict Indian parents—she had a different experience so I wanted to be authentic to her experience with her family. So, there were nuances here and there.

Amrit just touched on this a little bit, but I’m curious how much the rest of you brought yourselves into your characters and if you’ve learned anything about yourselves while playing these characters.

Reneé Rapp: Leighton’s whole internalized homophobic crisis and what that means for her…growing up I was very fortunate to have a lot of queer peers and that was really helpful to me. So, a lot of things that I was dealing with in terms of sexuality and identity, and these stigmas that surround queerness and how that changes how you are perceived were kind of in my head. It’s just an extension — a beautiful extension — of who you are. So that was one of the things I was so excited about when I got this job because I haven’t gotten the opportunity to explore this in this capacity. It was also the most difficult thing of the job because I’m like, “hmmm, okay I’m like word vomiting things that are still inside of me as a 21 year old kid.” It was amazing and really scary.

Pauline Chalamet: I think that you live your own experiences. You’re given a script and there’s a character but you only know the world through your eyes. So, you can have empathy and compassion for all these different people, but that’s all you know. That’s why so many different actors can play so many different parts and…it is true that it’s not always about having the talent. It’s also about the group and what your version of that character is and how it fits to tell the story. So I think that you inevitably are drawing from your own experiences because that’s the only human experience you have. I know for Kimberly there were certain things that seemed obvious and certain things that were less obvious, but as I started to walk in her shoes it became clearer.

What are your hopes for audience reactions? What do you hope that people take away from the show?

Reneé Rapp: I hope that they take away everything and anything. That’s kind of what I’m so curious to see: the good, the bad, the in-between. I think it’s all extremely helpful. Any conversation that comes from this show is gonna be a warranted conversation and one that needs to happen regardless of what it is. So, I’m just excited to hopefully see all of it. I think you are gonna be so angry with these people at some times. I think you’re gonna find so much love for these people, I think you are gonna feel everything and then some. So yeah, everything and anything.

Amrit Kaur: Women talking about sexuality. I remember when Girls came out there was so much hate because a lot of them were average looking girls just talking about sex. And now we’ve done work since #MeToo and I think the world is more warmed up to seeing the messiness, and the realities of four women in their young 20’s exploring sexuality.

Pauline Chalamet: Also, sex isn’t just sex. You know, it’s nuanced. There’s the title that’s like The Sex Lives of College Girls, and you think one thing maybe. And then you tune in and you’re like “…what?” and I’m interested in that reaction.

This interview has been edited for clarity.

Radhika Menon (@menonrad) is a TV-obsessed writer based in New York City. Her work has appeared on Paste Magazine, Teen Vogue, and Brown Girl Magazine. At any given moment, she can ruminate at length over Friday Night Lights, the University of Michigan, and the perfect slice of pizza. You may call her Rad.

Watch The Sex Lives of College Girls on HBO Max