Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Addams Family 2’ on VOD, Which Brings Back the Iconic Gloomy-Goth Clan for Some Generic Antics

Apparently enough people cared about 2019’s animated franchise re-chew The Addams Family to inspire a sequel, the perfectly pragmatically titled The Addams Family 2 (now on VOD and in theaters). As marketing types would say, the first movie grossed a couple hundred mil and “introduced the archetypal gloomy-gus goth family to a new generation!”, an audience that didn’t wholly shrug off the silly dark-sitcomic shenanigans, which marketing types spun into “intense demand for a sequel!” Whether this new movie is more fun or funnier than the first seems moot, but let’s find out if it justifies its existence beyond the studio’s accounting ledger.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY 2: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Wednesday Addams (voice of Chloe Grace Moretz) is an atypical 13-year-old in pretty much every way, except for being absolutely totally fully and mortifyingly embarrassed by her family. The logic behind her assertion is shaky, frankly. Sure, dad Gomez (Oscar Isaac) is a tryhard dipstick. But her mom, Morticia (Charlize Theron), is cool as hell, velvety voiced, softspoken, elegantly fashionable. Wednesday should be thankful that her little brother Pugsley (Javon “Wanna” Walton) is a perfect target for her torturous impulses. And the Addamses have a staff! That’s some primo upper-crust living: A butler — a butler! Who has a butler anymore? — named Lurch (Conrad Vernon), who would scare the bejeezus out of the Amazon courier, and a housekeeper, Thing, who’s the most literal definition of a helping hand. She should be counting her blessings.

But teenagers gonna teenage, I guess. We open at the school science fair, where Wednesday shows some mad mad-scientist skills by melding the DNA of her pet octopus and her Uncle Fester (Nick Kroll). Her flimsy competition yields a meager volcano model and similar normie stuff, but everyone gets a participation trophy anyway, handed out by the hologram of apparently famous science guy Cyrus Strange (Bill Hader). When her Addams kin act annoying and stange and therefore exactly like themselves at the fair, Wednesday starts pulling away. Then a meddlesome lawyer (Wallace Shawn) knocks on the door and tells Gomez and Morticia that there may have been a mix-up at the hospital nursery when Wednesday was born, which seems patently ridiculous. I mean, look at the girl: Could such a pallid, downcast child be the product of anyone but these dyed-in-the-wool weirdos? The eye test seems definitive.

After shooing away the pesty lawyer, Gomez decides what they need to do is force some family togetherness by piling into their ultra-diesel behemoth camper that looks like the Hindenburg humped a humpback whale, and take a weeks-long cross-country road trip. How can they afford this, one may ask? Does Gomez have a job? Are they independently wealthy? What are the taxes like on their spooky manse? I have so many questions. Anyway, Grandma (Bette Midler) stays behind as they vamoose, with the lawyer tailing them on a motorcycle. Episodic adventures occur in Miami and at the Alamo and the Grand Canyon, etc. Cousin It (Snoop Dogg) joins them for a while. Will the lawyer give Wednesday a reason to defect from the Addamses? NO SPOILERS, but you probably already know the answer.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Remember Igor? The 2008 animated movie about Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant? No? Well, I remember it, but only because Addams Family 2 matches its wholesale mediocrity. The new Addams Family movies are still chasing the Hotel Transylvania series in terms of relevance — and frankly, the Hotel Transylvanias aren’t particularly relevant.

Performance Worth Watching: Moretz delivers some succulent deadpan as Wednesday. Wouldn’t it be a wonder if she had funnier things to say?

Memorable Dialogue: “How can you be a winner if no one is a loser?” — Wednesday has a point, doesn’t she?

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: Have you ever stuck around for the end credits of a relatively recent animated film? Lotta names there. It takes an ARMY of creative individuals to render a CG cartoon up to modern standards for visual excellence. If you’re watching an animated movie in a theater or ponying up $20 to stream it, chances are it looks terrific — crisp, colorful, dynamic. This is absolutely true for Addams Family 2, which nails the eccentric-goth aesthetic and frequently juxtaposes its pasty, monochrome characters with sunny and vibrant settings for comedic effect, especially if you’re a grade schooler.

Yet for the life of me, I don’t know why so much craft and artistry can be brandished at the mercy of such ramshackle writing. The screenplay feels like it never got past the spitballing-ideas stage: Here’s the Addams Family at the beach! Here’s the Addams Family at a landmark! Here’s what would happen if Wednesday were forced to participate in a pageant! Here’s Uncle Fester pooping, and farting, and pooping some more! Here’s a Carrie reference! And along the way, dumb ol’ Uncle Fester slowly transforms into a cephalapod. Did anyone write any actual jokes? No? Definitely no. And is that “Jump Around” on the soundtrack? “I Will Survive”? Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades”? Yes, yes and are you freaking kidding me?

It should be an intractable rule that any script featuring the line “That’s gonna leave a mark” be fed to the shredder. But alas, such an irksome cliche gets a pass here, because the movie banks on the appeal of the franchise and shows very little interest in having its iconic characters do or say anything memorable. All we can do is recognize the irony that Addams Family 2 doesn’t leave a mark whatsoever.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Maybe The Addams Family 2 will prove diverting for young, less critical minds. But beyond that, it’s disposable, an exercise in IP recognition with the likelihood of acceptably modest merchandising and box office returns. If you think I sound cynical, imagine what the studio meetings sounded like.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Where to stream The Addams Family 2