Bill Maher Calls For Democrats To Be More Promiscuous Since “That’s Our Thing” On ‘Real Time’

Last night on Real Time with Bill Maher, the HBO host conveyed during this week’s “New Rule” segment his disappointment in the perception that conservatives appear to be out-partying liberals. After presenting a slew of past and present political scandals involving sex and drugs, Maher pleaded with Democrats to stop being the “fun-suckers” and to start doing more drugs and having more sex so that Republicans can get back to being the conservative “stick-up-your-a**” party.

“Republicans can’t spend decades chastising liberals for being too permissive about sex and drugs, and then be completely silent about Matt Gaetz,” Maher said with a smirk on his face. He then laid out details of the ongoing scandal involving the Florida congressman, especially those reports that have described illegal drug use and the hiring of prostitutes for illicit hotel parties.

“Okay. Wild hotel suite parties — that’s our thing,” Maher said with joking displeasure. “Democrats are the party of free love and fun and forgetting where you parked your car. Republicans cannot be the conservative, stick-up-your-a** party, and then take our drugs and f**k our women.”

Maher challenged that America “works best like a mullet. Republicans do business in the front. Democrats party in the back,” citing rumors that JFK allegedly had nude pool parties in the White House during his presidency. “Now the politician who comes closest to carrying on that legacy is Matt Gaetz? No.”

Maher then referenced the former Republican congressional leader John Boehner, who “now sells pot for a living.”

“My old job,” he said laughingly.

He also reminded his audience of how Republican congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green is “reportedly into polyamorous tantric sex” and Ashli Babbitt (the capitol insurrectionist who died during the Jan. 6 clash) “turns out to have been in a ‘throuple’ with her husband and another woman.”

Maher then pulled up a photo of Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels simply to say “and don’t even get me started on this guy.”

“If it was fun, Republicans were against it. They got apoplectic over Clinton getting a blowjob. They invented abstinence-only education. Mitt Romney has never seen himself naked,” Maher added. “John Ashcroft, I’m not kidding, once covered the tits on a statue. Rick Santorum wears a sweater vest! Newt Gingrich once said, quote: ‘Democrats were the party of total hedonism, total exhibitionism, total bizarreness, total weirdness.’ Well, on a good night I suppose.”

“We need to restore the natural order of things,” insisted Maher. “I don’t want to live in a world where liberals are the uptight ones and conservatives do drugs and get laid. Once upon a time the Right were the ones offended by everything. They were the party of speech codes and black lists and moral panics, and demanding some TV show had to go. Well now that’s us. We’re the fun-suckers now.”

Maher whined about liberals being the ones who now “suck the fun out of everything. Halloween. The Oscars. Childhood. Twitter. Comedy. It’s like woke kids on campus decided to be all the worst parts of a Southern Baptist. And that’s wrong — because it’s cultural appropriation.”

The late night comic and political pundit expressed his belief that many celebrated Democrats from the past had very interesting (and fun) private lives, but “Democrats are now the party that can’t tell the difference between Anthony Weiner and Al Franken.”

He then brought up former congresswoman Katie Hill to drive his point home. Hill, “like Ashley Babbit was found to be in a throuple, and pictured holding a bong, and that was too much for our new puritanical Democratic party. Quite the opposite: This should be our logo.”

“We’re the throuple people! The bong people! The tantric sex gurus. Not f—in’ Matt Gaetz, us,” Maher said as he concluded his rant. “We did f**king in the mud, and bra burning, and turn on and tune in and drop out. They’re the party who won’t bake wedding cakes for gay people.”

“It’s time to switch back. Because frankly, you’re not good at being us, and being you sucks,” he said.

You can check out the full video above and catch new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher on Fridays at 10 p.m. EST.

Michael is a music and television junkie keen on most things that are not a complete and total bore. You can follow him on Twitter — @Tweetskoor

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