Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Pack’ On Amazon Prime Video, Where Dogs And Their People Go On A Worldwide Adventure Race

The Pack is more or less an Amazing Race-style contest where 12 dogs and their people participate in different races in cities around the world. Initially split into two “packs” of six dog/owner combos, they start with a team competition. Whichever team crosses the finish line in full first wins, and the members of the losing team have to compete against each other to see who will be eliminated. The winning dog/person team gets a hefty $500,000, plus $250,000 donated to the charity of their choice. Plus, the show will donate $250,000 to charities in the cities where they race.

THE PACK: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: In a replica of Los Angeles traffic (which looks more like it’s shot on the roof of a parking garage), host Lindsey Vonn and her dog Lucy get out of Vonn’s car; Von starts talking about why we’re so loyal to our dogs (and why they’re loyal to us).

The Gist: After a number of months of training (for the dogs, but we think the owners will get some, too), the teams gather in Los Angeles for the first round, on a studio backlot (really Warner Bros. city backlot set, but it’s unnamed). The teams are determined by what color bandana is inside various hidden pull toys, then each pair in a team ziplines to a waiting vehicle (yes, the dogs zipline, too).

The vehicles take the teams to a ship anchored off Long Beach: On the USS Iowa, the Green Pack need to find puzzle pieces. On the Queen Mary, the dogs in the Blue Pack have to serve dinner without spilling their food. When the tasks are complete, they’re given a map to a lighthouse, which is the finish line. The losing team’s elimination challenge consists of finding the location of the challenge in a fake newspaper delivered to their hotel rooms, then going through the course with their dogs, digging, obeying commands, then trying to spell a word out of life preservers.

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? As we said, it’s basically The Amazing Race, but with dogs.

Our Take: Listen, if all you want out of The Pack is to see lots of adorable dogs make their way through various world locales, complete with spectacular photography, then it’s worth a watch. The charm of the show, though, is lost in convoluted challenges and overproduction that actually renders the tasks these dogs are doing into a boring mess that doesn’t seem to know a good thing when they have it.

There’s lots of loud music, rousing music, quick cuts, and camera tricks to make the competition more dramatic than it is. But what really got to us was the fact that executive producers Jay Bienstock, Jay Renfroe and David Garfinkle made the decision to concentrate more on the owners than the dogs themselves. You’ve got Linh, the Brooklyn fashion plate that dresses her tiny dog Dax in outfits similar to hers. There’s Kioni, whose nickname is “Kentucky.” What does he name his dog? “Derby,” of course. Or Brian and his support hound Dixie, who came to Brian after he got severely injured when a tree fell on him.

Sure, the humans are the ones that talk, but we see them talking too much. they also seem to ascribe emotions to their dogs that they showed no evidence of having, especially during the extended zipline sequence. Were those dogs having fun? Were they scared? Who knows? The blank looks on their faces didn’t say much. And in the hotel after his team lost, Brian actually says to the camera that Dixie was disappointed in how things went. Really, Brian? We think as long as he’s getting fed and walked and has the bigger half of the bed he shares with you, he’s okeedoke,

But that’s our point: We don’t need yet another show that features obsessive “dog moms”, “dog dads” or “dog significant others.” Yes, Vonn states that they picked these 12 pairs because of the close relationship the dog has with their person. However, it just seems that we don’t get much insight into the abilities and personalities of the dogs because we’re seeing how screwy the people are. If we wanted to see screwy people race around the world, we’d watch The Amazing Race.`

Oh, speaking of Vonn: Her hosting isn’t nearly as warm and encouraging as it should be on a show where the contestants are expending a whole lot of effort. Lucy is fine as her co-host, but Vonn herself needs to loosen up a bit. It shows you just how much skill as a host Phil Keoghan has.

What Age Group Is This For?: Except for some occasional swearing, and a scene or two of some of the dogs humping things held by their people, The Pack is a show that is perfectly suitable for kids 8 and up.

Parting Shot: After the losing pair is eliminated, Vonn reveals their next destination: Mexico City. The group walks through a gate with Mexico City banners on it.

Sleeper Star: One story that was affecting was Lucy talking about how her black lab Duchess pulled her through her post-partum depression after she had a miscarriage. So our award goes to the adorable Duchess.

Most Pilot-y Line: The producers hiding the clue to the location of the elimination competition in a fake newspaper was stupidity squared. Maybe they didn’t anticipate that some contestants would read every word instead of scanning for the very obvious clue in an ad spot. But the fact that some did made the race to not come in last one that wasn’t very close, no matter how many edits and how much dramatic music they could apply to the footage.

Our Call: STREAM IT if you are just interested in seeing the dogs compete on The Pack. SKIP IT if you want to watch an interesting reality competition.

Joel Keller (@joelkeller) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, RollingStone.com, VanityFair.com, Fast Company and elsewhere.

Stream The Pack On Prime Video