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Halloween has always been a weird and wild time for TV. It’s the one holiday that gives shows, particularly sitcoms, the chance to cut loose and go crazy. Characters get to don elaborate costumes, fake their deaths, wage prank wars, and fulfill their slasher movie fantasies. But as spooky as sitcom episodes can get, they’re rarely as disturbing as the horror films their riffing on. For every “Stevil” there are a dozen tame trick-or-treat storylines
And then there’s Bewitched’s “A Safe and Sane Halloween,” which fully boots the “tame” out of the stock trick-or-treat plot and replaces it with legitimate menace.
For a show that’s at least moderately spooky all season long, you know Bewitched always had to bring it hard on Halloween. The show usually did, producing episodes that were surprisingly progressive and mischievous, like that razzle dazzle Halloween shindig hosted by Uncle Arthur. And then there’s 1967’s “A Safe and Sane Halloween,” the only Halloween sitcom episode I’ve ever seen that rivals “Stevil” in nightmare-inducing WTF-ness.
Just how disturbing is “A Safe and Sane Halloween”?
Say goodbye to a good night’s sleep for the rest of the month!
Much like how clowns have drifted from childhood entertainment to horror mainstays, there’s something deeply, unintentionally disturbing about all Halloween costumes made before 1980—especially homemade ones. I have no idea what impression that gremlin, goblin, and jack o’lantern left on viewers 50 years ago, but the sight of them in 2019 is enough to make me reflexively shout “NO!”
These creatures are conjured up by Samantha (Elizabeth Montgomery) and Darrin’s (Dick York) toddler Tabatha (Erin Murphy), literally ripped out of her Halloween storybook and rendered in the supernatural flesh. You know they’re going to be trouble from the moment they first appear on screen.
The trio under the costumes are unsung heroes of Hollywood. Jerry Maren, the last surviving munchkin from The Wizard of Oz, plays the Robin Hood-esque gremlin. Billy Curtis, another Wizard of Oz alum, plays the baptism-ready jack o’lantern. And if the goblin looks like down-and-out Cousin Itt on a humid day, that’s because he’s played by Felix Silla—the actor behind (or rather inside) Cousin Itt.
After stepping foot onto the mortal coil, the monsters waste no time discovering the world outside.
And they want a piece of it. Okay, really they just want to hang out with their god, Tabatha, and that means tagging along while she trick-or-treats. Samantha assumes the creatures are other neighborhood kids and pays them little attention, even as weird stuff starts happening. Neighbors sprout goatees, candy bowls start floating, doors start slamming, and Samantha just assumes it’s Tabatha causing all the mischief. Nuh-uh, Sam! You’ve got three creatures from a 2-D netherworld on your tail and they care not for the laws of man! Just take it from the poor neighbor lady who got a pie in the face:
Things go from bad to worse when the jack o’lantern swaps places with nosy neighbor Gladys Kravitz’s nephew Tommy, who’s dressed similarly (minus the unsettling Victorian bloomers you can briefly see under the jack o’lantern creature’s white cloak, which… I just don’t have time to unpack here!). Now there’s a mysterious mischief-making monster in the care of the already on-edge Gladys. She makes the mistake of asking what she thinks is her nephew to take his mask off…
Just look at Gladys’ reaction and tell me this isn’t some straight-up Hitchcockian content.
Back at the Stephens’ house, the other two creatures menace the humans at their mercy.
Even worse than slapping away Darin’s dignity, the gremlin turns little kid Tommy into a literal kid—and his wail for help when he sees his Aunt Gladys will echo through my mind all month long.
While Bewitched was edgy enough to do, well, everything described in this post so far, it obviously wasn’t going to leave this terrifying trio on the loose or ship Tommy off to a farm to live out the rest of his shortened, goat-y lifespan (15-18 years). Everything is put right by episode’s end, after the obligatory chase scene that is just too much.
Consider this a warning, or a recommendation if that’s your inclination: “A Safe and Sane Halloween” is definitely not a safe and sane episode of television. It’s an unsettling half-hour of television that creeps further along the spooky scale than almost every other sitcom. It’s one of the wildest episodes of TV you will ever see, and Halloween is the perfect time to see it… if you dare.
