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HGTV is the adult equivalent of Saturday morning cartoons. Those home reno shows are the exact right blend of fun, formulaic, and frivolous. They’re about as fast-paced as you can handle while you’re sipping your first cup of coffee. And when you run out of episodes on HGTV, Hulu’s got you covered with hundreds of episodes of shows like Property Brothers to keep you entertained for a year’s worth of Saturdays. But of all the episodes of Property Brothers streaming on Hulu, there is one that stands out from the rest as not only the cartooniest, but the rowdiest and WTF-iest of the entire bunch. If you skip your morning coffee, then Season 3’s “Dan & Brittany” will wake you up.
Most Property Brothers homeowners range from meek to mild-mannered, with some bordering on persistent. They’re all interchangeable to a degree, mostly because they all want an open floor plan. But you don’t watch Property Brothers for the homeowners. You watch episode after episode for telegenic twin bros Drew and Jonathan Scott. They’re the personalities. And in “Dan & Brittany,” those twin personalities meet their match… in Dan.
The episode introduces Brittany and her husband Dan in such a perfect way, the editor should have won an Emmy back in 2012. We meet Brittany first, a mental health counselor who has the kind of sweet, go-with-the-flow personality you usually see on Property Brothers. And then there’s Dan. This is how we meet Dan:
Dan is a showroom manager who collects microwaves like they were state quarters and was what the producers definitely thought of as reality TV gold the instant they saw his application. You just know the Property Brothers producers have to spend a little bit of time getting average couples to come out of their shells and poke Jonathan with mildly unreasonable demands. Dan, on the other hand, is the kinda guy that does jump kicks in his living room, fully aware that he’s been taped for national broadcast. The producers cast Dan and their work was done.
That dojo intro tells you everything you need to know about how this episode is going to go. For instance, you see him doing high kicks at the one minute mark and you know immediately that this dude is going to run through a wall at one point. He does.
But there’s so much more to Dan than just having the chaotic energy of the Tasmanian Devil with the attitude of party turtle Michaelangelo. Dan loves quotes–like, loves quotes.
I know what your next question is and I can give you the answer: you bet your laser level that Dan quotes Borat.
I haven’t checked every episode of Property Brothers, but I can guarantee that Dan is the only homeowner to respond to the Property Brothers asking him what he thinks of his renovated new home with a “very niiice.” He does that.
But Dan doesn’t just quote the greats like, Borat, Austin Powers (“yeah, baby!”), and Wayne Campbell (“party time!”). Dan’s got quotes of his own!
And Dan’s got his very own demolition methods.
Dan’s a whole lot of homeowner, way more than the Property Brothers are used to. So how do Jonathan and Drew react to a guy asking how many people can fit in a prospective home’s shower at once, insinuating on a usually TV-G show that he’s into group shower parties? Drew, who admittedly doesn’t have to interact with Dan during the high-stress renovation period, seems a little perplexed but mostly charmed.
And then there’s Jonathan, the guy who has to put up with homeowner freak outs every single episode. Jonathan starts off calling Dan a “walking comedy act” and then he just gets really tired. You can track Jonathan’s increasing exasperation and frustration through this episode as Dan comes at him with more tweaks (suddenly there’s a need for a skylight) and screwed up appliance measurements (which Dan not-so-subtly blames Jonathan for).
This episode marks quite possibly the only time in Property Brothers history where Jonathan gets in a sick burn on a homeowner. During the demolition, Jonathan watches in shock as Dan, who’s about half his size, swings hammers around and eagerly jumps through walls. Then we get this absolutely brilliant exchange:
Jonathan! Is! Done! Playing!
He’s really done by the end of the episode, after the appliance king fails to get his dream oven delivered on time and then points fingers at Jonathan about the microwave measurements being way off. When Drew and Jonathan show Dan and Brittany their finished home, Jonathan just looks like he wants to run.
You know what Jonathan wants to do in that very moment?
I know if you’re like me, you’ve watched so many episodes of Property Brothers and they all bleed together. This one stands out–and honestly, I’ve barely scratched the surface. I haven’t talked about Dan’s party shirt or when he asked if Jonathan plans on putting go-go cages in his living room. This episode is truly a spectacle from beginning to end, the purest example of Property Brothers being exactly what it is: a Saturday morning cartoon for adults.
