So… Robin (Sort Of) Killed Batman on ‘Titans’

DC Universe’s Titans closed off its first season with “Dick Grayson” today, an episode full of all the epic violence, cursing and sex fans have come to expect from the streaming superhero series. It also included several shocking moments that went above and beyond, as we finally met the show’s version of Batman… Or did we?

Spoilers for “Dick Grayson” past this point.

The episode seemingly picks up five years after the end of last week’s entry, with Dick Grayson (Brenton Thwaites) living a blissful suburban life with his now wife Dawn (Minka Kelly) and child Johnny, who is played by a child actor who is actually named James Scallion, which is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.

Into this peaceful life of choosing paint colors for the new nursery comes Jason Todd (Curran Walters) now in a wheelchair, who tells Dick that Batman has gone nuts after The Joker killed Commissioner Gordon. So Dick heads back to a Gotham City so bad it looks like a massive multiplayer game version of “Grand Theft Auto,” or maybe the “Slaughter Race” section of Ralph Breaks the Internet.

There, he discovers that Batman has clearly crossed a line and killed The Joker, smashing him on a car roof, blood all over his white hands. But actually, The Joker is alive! He’s taken to a hospital room and hooked up to a respirator. And then Batman breaks in and stabs him to death with a batarang.

By the way, in case you’re wondering? We don’t get to see who is playing either Joker or Batman in the episode. Steve Boyle is credited as “Man in Suit,” meaning the Bruce Wayne we see shadowed from the back that previously appeared in the series premiere. But Joker’s face is always covered, and Batman ultimately gets no dialogue or close-up shots. Batman is played by stuntman/actor Alain Moussi, with stunts done by Maxim Savarias… But this is not going to be an ongoing new Batman. Sorry.

Anyway, after Batman kills The Joker he decides to make a day of it and heads to Arkham Asylum, killing all of the guards and the prisoners. We get to see hints of Riddler (an arm tattooed with question marks), Two-Face (a bloody coin), and Ventriloquist (a ruined dummy). Fed up, Dick tells the police that Batman is Bruce Wayne, and they storm Wayne Manor.

Guess what happens?

You guessed correctly: Batman kills all the cops. Then Kori (Anna Diop), who is also a Gotham cop in this episode, gets killed by Batman. So Dick blows up Wayne Manor, burying Batman under rubble and nearly killing him. Dick tromps into the ruins, and sees Batman lying there and gasping (but not saying lines because then you’d have to put him in the credits and pay him more). He stares at his mentor, and parallels the most infamous line from the premiere episode.

“Well fuck you, Bruce,” Dick says. “You win.”

…And then Dick steps on Batman’s neck so hard it breaks and he dies.

That’s when reality starts flickering, and we go back to the room from the end of last episode… The whole thing was a trick by the villainous Trigon (Seamus Dever) to usher Dick along the path of darkness. So we didn’t actually meet Batman. Batman didn’t actually die. The Joker didn’t actually die. Dick was never married to Dawn. There never really was a child actor named James Scallion.

Actually, the last one is true. Thank god.

Even with the imaginary nature of the confrontation, Dick’s issues with Batman’s methods have been the heart of the series, so it makes sense they’d finally come around to this. Why an all-powerful demon needs a human dude who likes running around in multi-colored tights to do his bidding when there are so many other superheroes available, though, is a good question.

And that’s it for the first season of Titans… Though there is an after-credits scene featuring a certain super boy and super dog that pops up. In case you’re wondering what that’s all about, Conner Kent is a clone created from the DNA of Superman and Lex Luthor. Held in the semi-evil Project Cadmus, he eventually escapes and fights the Teen Titans, before joining up with them. In the after-credits tease, the only casting for the mostly naked Conner is Brooker Muir, who is listed as “Conner Body Double.” He knocks out/kills a Cadmus scientist, and then enters a green room to rescue a dog. The light turns off, and the dog’s eyes glow red. That’s Krypto The Super Dog, a concept that sure will test this show’s commitment to dark grittiness as it enters Season 2.

See you then.

Stream Titans on DC Universe