Woody Allen’s Gorgeous, Infuriating ‘Wonder Wheel’ Is Streaming on Prime

In the wake of today’s news that Woody Allen’s upcoming movie, A Rainy Day in New York, has been “shelved indefinitely” by Amazon Studios, maybe you’ve realized that you never ended up watching Woody Allen’s last movie, the Coney Island-set Wonder Wheel. The prospect of seeing a new Woody Allen movie is not the most appetizing one to begin with, given the sexual abuse allegations his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow has made against him. While Allen doesn’t star in either film, merely not having to see him on screen is no longer enough of a buffer zone for many people when it comes to their present-day appetite for Allen’s films.

Still, Wonder Wheel is out there, it’s streaming for free on Prime, and it features some serious filmmaking talent — Woody Allen aside — at work. So is there a good reason to see it? Let’s investigate…

Kate Winslet

This would seem to be the biggest and best reason to see Wonder Wheel. Playing the unhappy wife of a fish merchant in old-timey Brooklyn, Winslet’s performance was thought of initially as a possible heir apparent to Cate Blanchett’s Oscar-winning work in Blue Jasmine. Would Kate Winslet find herself back in the Oscar conversation after almost a decade? [Oscar-winning Ron Howard on voice-over: “She wouldn’t.”] Winslet isn’t the problem with Wonder Wheel. That would be a script that never seems to take the time to justify its own existence. So Winslet is left to do a louder, more abrasive version of Mildred Pierce, a character she played plenty well a few years ago. But if you were expecting the Kate Winslet who can overcome bad material and make even the flimsiest characters watchable, this is not the movie for you.

Justin Timberlake

Oh. Honey, no. Justin Timberlake’s career as an actor has often shown flashes of promise, in films as disparate as Alpha Dog, Southland Tales, and The Social Network. He’s just as easily shown … what’s the opposite of promise? That. In movies like The Love Guru, In Time, and Runner Runner. The exact midpoint of that line, for the record? Friends with Benefits. At least he gets naked in that one. He does not get naked in Wonder Wheel, perhaps because the bathing suits of that era were too cumbersome to take off whilst engaging in illicit shenanigans with the married waitress you’re banging. Yes, Justin Timberlake and Kate Winslet as a couple. Is  THAT reason enough to watch? Lord, no. Timberlake’s old-timey observational writer from Brooklyn shtick is just far, far beyond his abilities as an actor. It’s frequently embarrassing.

Jim Belushi and/or Juno Temple

Together at last! These two play estranged father and daughter, and the idea that Woody Allen is so indifferent to casting that he thought the average moviegoer would look at Jim Belushi and then at Juno Temple, and then back at Belushi, and then back at Temple, and then look around them to make sure they’re not on a prank show, and decide that Belushi and Temple do, indeed, look like they’re related by blood is honestly the most offensive thing about the movie.

Sopranos Alums

At an early point in the movie, one character mentions being on the run from the mob. And before you can even idly think “I wish someone from The Sopranos would end up being the mob guy,” it turns out that not one but TWO Sopranos alums end up being the mob guys. Does this mean that you should watch in order to find out? Nah, it’s Paulie Walnuts and the one who died while playing with trains.

Old Timey Coney Island

It’s no surprise that a Woody Allen movie set in the past would be idyllic about the way New York used to be. But there’s no charm to it, no life or zip or jokes. Like, even as heavy as Blue Jasmine was, there were jokes. Wonder Wheel  is mostly just a movie that idly wonders if middle-aged women become harridans because they’re so threatened by the younger, prettier women coming for their spot that they go crazy. Which… is maybe the kind of movie I’d want to see, if it weren’t being directed by Woody Allen.

The Cinematography

Aha, and so we have it. If there is one reason to see Wonder Wheel, it is this: the cinematography by 3-time Oscar winner Vittorio Storaro (Apocalypse Now; Reds; The Last Emperor) is lush, colorful, and stunning. You could look at screen for days, from the big bright beach scenes to the moonlit boardwalks and everything in between.

Is the cinematography enough of a good reason for you to see Wonder Wheel? That’s one for you to decide. The sights are dazzling, even if the story is a dud.

Where to stream Wonder Wheel