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Jean-Claude Van Johnson
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Stream The Splits: 'Jean-Claude Van Johnson' Is Essential Viewing For Van Damme Fans
The world changes. Our lives evolve. Bodies age. Time moves on. If you’re looking for a villain in Amazon’s Jean-Claude Van Damme comeback TV series Jean-Claude Van Johnson, it’s the relentless march of time. It’s a villain that always wins, as time is unstoppable–unless you’re a timecop.
That’s what makes Jean-Claude Van Damme playing Jean-Claude Van Damme the perfect foil for time in a battle that plays out in the bizarrely brilliant throwback series Jean-Claude Van Johnson. In it, JCVD plays the “real world’s” version of himself, a man that was also running covert black ops missions for a peacekeeping organization while filming action movies like Kickboxer. It’s a setup we’ve seen before in 2008’s well-received JCVD, but Van Johnson pushes the premise to its breaking point by dropping the splits-master action fans know and love into a “real world” that’s populated with all the implausible explosions and villainous monsters seen in Van Damme’s ’80s filmography.
But that sometimes baffling mixture is what makes JCVJ so addictive, especially if you have even the slightest appreciation for Van Damme’s back catalogue. Series director Peter Atencio brings the same level of genre specificity and eye-opening originality to these six episodes as he brought to the expertly crafted sketches of Key & Peele and the John Wick love letter Keanu. That makes JCVJ a parody filled with sincerity, as the show giddily indulges itself on all of the tropes of ’80s action flicks it’s homaging.
Van Johnson kicks off with the ex-kickboxer getting back into his old routine as a double agent movie star and operative. His mission–which of course involves tattooed criminals, drug cartels, machine guns, and computer chips–pairs him up with a strong supporting cast that includes Kat Foster as a highly capable operative and Van Damme’s almost love interest, Phylicia Rashad as his stern-talking handler/agent, and–totally unrecognizable under a wig and a hazed-out intensity–Hannah Montana alum Moises Arias as the battle-hardened Robin to Van Damme’s Batman.
Each episode dives deep into action movie sub-genres, dropping Van Damme as Van Damme into half-hour send-ups/celebrations/iterations of everything from the Fast & Furious to James Bond franchises. Still, the show filters those specifics (like Van Damme figuring out how to drift in a nearly trashed Eastern European buggy) through the ’80s action movie lens, making each plot point feel specific to this show.
Honestly, the show’s pitch perfect appreciation for all things ’80s makes me wonder if the show’s weak spots were somehow deliberate. The show’s pacing could be tighter, and don’t expect the laughs to come at the pace of, say, an Archer. When the big comedy moments come, they strike with the power of JCVD in full Kumite mode, delivering big laughs. But those laughs come from the juxtaposition of scenes that are every bit as exposition heavy as the movies the show is calling out.
Still, when the show hits, it hits, and it delivers the kind of laughs and stunts that its over-the-top premise promises. The show even gives Van Damme the opportunity to flex his comedic muscles in a dual (triple?) role as an Igor-esque wimp, a turn that is so weird that it will make you think of Van Damme in a whole new light. Van Johnson shows a Van Damme updated for the 21st century, yet still fully in synch with his ’80s heyday.
And if you’re looking to see classic Van Damme in action, you’re in luck because Amazon has a ton of his best movies. From Bloodsport to Timecop and plenty of limber-military-man-seeks-vengeance film in-between, here’s all the damn good Van Damme on Amazon.
'Bloodsport' (1988)
'Leon'/'Lionheart' (1990)
'Nowhere To Run' (1993)
'Timecop' (1994)
'Inferno'/'Desert Heat' (1999)
'Second in Command' (2006)
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IS…COMMANDER SAM KEENAN, a highly decorated U.S. Navy SEAL turned ambassador to Moldavia that must defend the embassy from heavily armed insurgents.
Also Starring: Julie Cox, Alan McKenna
IMDb Rating: 5.1/10
'JCVD' (2008)
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IS…JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, literally a down-on-his-luck version of himself navigating life as a broke, out-of-work actor that is suddenly called to action during a bank hostage situation.
Also Starring: Valerie Bodson, Herve Sogne, Rock Chen
IMDb Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 84%
'Dragon Eyes' (2012)
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IS…TIANO, the mentor of a mysterious martial artist determined to unite a neighborhood ravaged by gang violence.
Also Starring: Cung Le, Peter Weller
IMDb Rating: 4.5/10
'Jean-Claude Van Johnson' (2017)
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IS…JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, AGAIN, except this time he’s also playing a retired black ops agent and martial arts movie star that’s once again ready to kick criminal butt on and off camera.
Also Starring: Kat Foster, Moises Arias, Phylicia Rashad
IMDb Rating: 8.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%
