Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
It’s finally summer! Time for you and your besties to hit the beach for some sand, surf, and sun. But don’t get into the water just yet. As all of these movies prove, diving into the ocean can be a risky pastime.
There’s something incredibly addicting about summer horror watches. You favorite vacation hobbies can kill you in so many ways, and when you add those deadly possibilities to a deceptively relaxed Act One atmosphere, the tension writes itself. In honor of 2016’s best summer horror thriller, Blake Lively’s The Shallows, we thought we’d dive into some of the best beach-centric horror watches in cinematic history. Whether you’re looking for pure horror or satirical reflections on the genre’s evolution, drawn out reflections on the inevitability of death or killer shark attacks (pun intended), this list will leave you second guessing jumping into the water. Happy swimming or streaming — your choice.
'Jaws' (1975)
You can’t mention summer horror without bringing up the movie that defined the blockbuster genre while simultaneously making us all terrified of the beach. This Steven Spielberg film is the grandfather of modern horror, beach gore, and one of the proud predecessors of great film in general. Need another excuse to re-watch this classic? July 4th is approaching, which is what this thriller is all about. You’re going to need a bigger boat.
'Piranha 3D' (2010)
Let’s be honest, there are two things audience members are looking for when they go to see a horror movie: boobs and gore. Piranha 3D knows your horror heart, and it gleefully dishes both. Do you want to see Parks and Rec‘s Ben Wyatt (Adam Scott) cursing out a giant cannibalistic fish? What about Christopher Lloyd essentially playing Doc again but surrounded by sea life instead of inventions and Deloreans? What about a tourist spot literally turning into a bloodbath — a giant body of water filled with blood? This movie has it all. Is Piranha 3D serious or is it a commentary on the gratuitous nature of horror movies? It doesn’t matter. Either way it’s fun.
'Open Water' (2003)
It’s every diver’s worst nightmare — emerging after a successful dive only to find that your boat is gone. You’re trapped in the middle of the ocean, destined to die. Open Water doesn’t offer the same brand of jumpy horror as other picks on this list. Instead what it offers is a painfully drawn out meditation what it means to wait out your inevitable demise. Watch if you’re into long drawn out reflections on mortality, shark attacks, and terrifying lightning storms.
'Sharknado' (2013)
There is one silver lining to most beach horror films. Because all the monsters are underwater, as long as you stay on shore, you’re safe. That’s not the case when thousands of bloodthirsty sharks are flying through the air, hell bent on grabbing their next meal — you. Sharknado has never claimed to be a great movie, but it sure is a fun one. If you’re looking for intense destruction and gore paired with B-movie acting and Tara Reid, then this cult gem is everything you need and more.
'Friday the 13th' (1980)
We’re talking about the first Friday the 13th, not the franchise as a whole. Though most of the horrors in this classic thriller took place on land, there was one scene that ruined camp swimming activities for several generations. We still have goosebumps.
'Shark Week'
There’s one thing scarier than fictionalized sharks: actual sharks. Even though these giant predators are much calmer and more interesting than their onscreen doppelgängers, the fact that something this powerful exists in your favorite summer beach fun spots is daunting. The latest season of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week isn’t available to stream, but several seasons are on Hulu. Chow down now.
'Sleepaway Camp' (1983)
We’re going back to camp. Whereas Friday the 13th merely dabbled in the horrors of Camp Beach Life, this cult slasher film embraced lake terror in its entirety. Drowning? Confusing sexual politics that are either progressive or regressive? A twist ending that still lives in horror movie infamy? Check, check, and big check.
'Zombeavers' (2014)
Think you’re safe from underwater terror as long as you stay out of the ocean? Wrong. These zombie beavers prove that you’re never actually safe. That’s right — I said zombie beavers. This subversive horror comedy ruthlessly attacks modern horror conventions while smartly playing to them. Plus, there are animatronic beavers. You can’t lose.
'I Know What You Did Last Summer' (1997)
There are few horror movies that encapsulate summer better than this one. I mean, come on. Summer is right there in the name. This classic thriller won’t make you hesitant to jump into the water, but it’ll certainly make you side eye any person who calls themselves a fisherman. Between the killer’s hook and that freaky final boat scene, we’re reconsidering ever hanging out at the docks again.
'The Perfect Storm' (2000)
Do you know what’s more terrifying than killers or sharks or zombie beavers or anything else on this list? The sea itself. That’s the villain of this depressing drama that chronicles everything that can and does go wrong for one hapless crew. The Perfect Storm will give you some much deserved appreciation fro the one foe you can’t run away from — Mother Nature.
[Where to watch The Perfect Storm]
Photos: Everett Collection, Amazon Video, iTunes
