The Fights Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You
Think you guys can handle one more Mike Tyson bit? Sure, why not, right?...
![Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo
So, it's come to this. You thought Mike Tyson had hit bottom? You know nothing of the bottom, my friend. You can't handle the bottom! As part of Mike Tyson's World Tour which launches on Friday, the 40-year-old announced that some of his opponents may be women....
![Oh, No, Mike Tyson's Back! What Ever Will We Do!](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Oh, No, Mike Tyson's Back! What Ever Will We Do!
You know, now that Mike Tyson has announced that he's going to be doing a travelling roadshow of "fights," we know that we're supposed to get all huffy about it, say things like "When's this guy gonna learn?" and "What has happened to boxing?" or even the old standby "Why doesn't he move on with h...
![Boxer Told To Knock It Off With The Smurf Crap](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f480m8wb6k8jpg.jpg)
Boxer Told To Knock It Off With The Smurf Crap
This gentleman is named Arthur Abraham, and he's the IBF middleweight champion, whatever the hell that means anymore. If you're looking at his hat and thinking, "Gee, that kind of looks like a Smurf hat," well, you're right: That's exactly what it is....
![What, All Flights To Utah Were Booked?](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f482de3sxopjpg.jpg)
What, All Flights To Utah Were Booked?
Whenever we blow $600,000 on blackjack and loose women, we know that it's time for another trip to Cuba. Olympic officials in Thailand recently had that same thought, as they packed off Olympic boxing champion Manus Boonjumnong to the balmy shores of North America's favorite island, with the notion ...
![James Toney Is Not Mellowing Out](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f48bb06bpczjpg.jpg)
James Toney Is Not Mellowing Out
Former world champion James Toney is fighting a fellow named Samuel Peter next weekend in a title-elimination bout. The winner will be next in line to fight Oleg Maskaev for one of boxing's 342 world heavyweight titles (I think it's the one with the pretty rubies on the belt)....
![Evander Holyfield Beats Up Insurance Salesman, Will Insist On Fighting Again](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Evander Holyfield Beats Up Insurance Salesman, Will Insist On Fighting Again
Bad news for Evander Holyfield. He won last night, which means his comeback is going to continue. After beating the hell out of Jeremy Bates last night, Holyfield says he wants a Top 10 fighter next....
![Watch An Old Man Cheat Death ... LIVE On Fox!](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Watch An Old Man Cheat Death ... LIVE On Fox!
Slow, public meltdowns are no fun to watch, not even for the notoriously nasty and morbid voyeurs of the Internets. Which is why we await tonight's Evander Holyfield fight with a sense approaching dread. The fight, in Dallas and broadcast live on Fox Sports Net, pits the 43-year-old former champ (...
![Hasim Rahman, Great American Hero](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Hasim Rahman, Great American Hero
There's a big fight tonight on pay-per-view. Hasim Rahman, the only American boxer that still holds a heavyweight title, fights for American pride against Oleg Maskaev....
![Morrison-Tyson: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Morrison-Tyson: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Remember Tommy Morrison? In a more sports world with a little more flair than the one we inhabit, his story would be among the most compelling. Distant relative of John Wayne, co-star with Stallone in Rocky V, briefly heavyweight champion, beat George Foreman, spent 14 months in jail and, oh yeah,...
![Thank God Mr. T Didn't Live To See This](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Thank God Mr. T Didn't Live To See This
When it comes to boxing, you just can't beat the combination of dimwitted, old and slow. Because it's Fun With Old People Day here, we would be remiss if we didn't remind you that the trailer for Rocky VI is out. In this one, Rocky leads a group of seniors who want to prevent network executives from...
![Stop Him Before He's Punched Again](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f49mxlyn3nvjpg.jpg)
Stop Him Before He's Punched Again
As you might have heard, Evander Holyfield — 43 years old, loser of his last three fights, in danger of, you know, dying in the ring — will return to fight Jeremy Bates in Dallas on August 18. The fight is billed as "the beginning of his quest to win his fifth heavyweight title," though when you're ...
![An Ultimate Fighting Bedtime Story](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
An Ultimate Fighting Bedtime Story
We don't know much about Ultimate Fighting Pride, and we definitely don't know who these two people are. But, somewhere in this short, quick, violent clip, there's a moral. A lesson. One to grow on. Something like that....
![If You Can Make It There ...](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
If You Can Make It There ...
We know that the obvious death of boxing has been thoroughly documented and dissected, but we kind of think this pretty much pushes it into the kitsch category....
![Mike Tyson Wants It That Way](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Mike Tyson Wants It That Way
Honestly ... where would any of us be without Mike Tyson?****...
![The Ultimate Time Capsule Photo](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Ultimate Time Capsule Photo
Someone just sent us this picture, and we don't know where it's from, who took it or what the circumstances were around it. But, somehow, it made us extremely sad. Man. That could have been Whitey Ford, Ted Williams and Joe Louis hanging out right there. Oh well....
![Yeah, It's A Fight. We Get It](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Yeah, It's A Fight. We Get It
Show of hands: Is anyone still interested in the boxers-shouting-at-each-other-and-then-it-nearly-comes-to-blows-at-the-press-conference routine? The last time that was fresh, we think, was when Max Baer insulted Jim Braddock's wife in 1938. But they continue to do it, for some reason. The latest...
![That Looks Like It Hurts](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
That Looks Like It Hurts
Those of you who woke up with a little bit of a hangover this morning can be thankful for at least one thing: You aren't Fernando Vargas. Look at that eye, man. That is disgusting. Who'd he fight, Deebo? I think that growth just scored an 11 on the Wonderlic....
![Tonya Harding, The Female Butterbean](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Tonya Harding, The Female Butterbean
The Sports Pulse takes a look back at the rise and fall (mostly fall) of Tonya Harding over the past twelve years. It's hard not to think about her and Nancy Kerrigan when the Winter Olympics roll around. It was a time when it was OK to be a figure skater and not appear to still going through pube...
![Mike Tyson's Punch Out ... LIVE!](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Mike Tyson's Punch Out ... LIVE!
Via Mr. Irrelevant and Bill Simmons' intern — look, we saw something on your site first, and we credited you with it; see how easy that is? — comes some pretty solid early-afternoon entertainment: A bunch of college students doing a live-action version of Mike Tyson's Punch Out....