5 sure-fire ways James Harden can force a trade

The Philadelphia 76ers are entering one of the most important seasons in franchise history, as reigning MVP Joel Embiid desperately wants to contend, and edges ever so closer toward disgruntled. The Sixers have been a soap opera for going on five years (if not longer), and each attempt to build around the All-NBA center results in one calamity after another.

Case and point: James Harden. The Beard has been feuding with his longtime general manager all summer after Daryl Morey refuted his trade request. While the 34-year-old guard may have lost a step on the court, it appears he’s slipping off the floor, as well, because typically when James Harden wants to be traded, James Harden gets himself traded.

According to Adrian Wojnarowski, the All-Star guard’s latest ploy is to go full Jimmy Butler-Timberwolves practice in hopes of tanking his value, and forcing the 76ers’ hand to act now, or else risk Harden’s value sinking to dollar menu levels.

Apparently, Morey can’t take a hint, or forgot who he’s dealing with, because I’m 100 percent certain Harden will get himself traded, and could not be more excited for the stories to roll out of Philly training camp with the Beard’s pending arrival.

Having said that, here are a few ideas (predictions?) for Harden’s exit strategy.

Normally, I wouldn’t advocate for physical violence, but the Beard used an open-handed strike to discipline someone, and while I can’t speak to its effectiveness, Turtle, E, or Drama haven’t stepped out of line again (at least not that we’re aware of).

I’m all in on this method, especially if Harden uses a glove like he’s challenging the GM to a duel. Little does Morey know that the tête-à-tête of mind games has already begun, and he’s dealing with someone who can manipulate front offices as well as he does defenses.

I’m not convinced that the Beard spent his summer doing TikTok videos in China solely to promote his brand, and sell some wine. There’s something a little more nefarious going on, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Morey’s personal information gets leaked, or his X account legitimately gets hacked with a series of anti-China takes.

I’m talking deep state, “Daryl Morey has contracted a new strain of COVID” stuff, and to get the cure, he must trade Harden for peanuts on the dollar. It could backfire, and end up with Harden in a Shanghai Sharks jersey, but James doesn’t come off as someone who thinks long-term.

This might be the most effective option (short of waterboarding with the J Harden California red) as I’m sure Morey would agree to just about any trade as long as he never has to try another drop of that swamp water.

“Alright, alright, I’ll send you to the Clippers just as long as you take that Cabernet Sauvignon as far away from my palate as possible.

“Hey, Steve-O, Mr. Balmer. Balm-a-lam-a-ding-dong, the Microsoft maestro. Have I got a trade for” *gurgling burp* “you. James” *hiccup* “Harden for Danny Manning and 300 shares of Microsoft Office stock. Who says no?”

A story came out recently that alleged Harden had a few co-conspirators hold up “Daryl Morey is a liar” placards at the club, and I owe the Beard an apology for criticizing his ability to quit on a team. Having other people (literally) carry out your pettiness resets the bar for every disgruntled player who follows.

If Morey thinks playing hardball is going to break Harden, he’s as naive as all the GMs he’s fleeced over the years. There is no shaming a man who has no shame, and I can’t wait for Harden to waddle into camp with a sack of Bun B burgers, and an extra 35 pounds.

There’s only one way to convince Morey to move on from Harden, and that’s if James demonstrably shows how much he’s lost. The aging guard needs to go out there, try to stay in front of Tyrese Maxey in scrimmage, give it his all, and reinforce how far he’s fallen.

Harden is months away from entering the Chirs Paul on the Warriors, Tracy McGrady on the Spurs phase of his career, and if Morey really is the world-renowned talent evaluator that everyone thinks, he’ll be the first to recognize the foolishness of this pursuit.

Just like there isn’t a trade partner willing to swap Harden straight up for a true second star, there also isn’t an NBA calendar now or in the future where the Beard and Embiid are the two main buttresses of a Finals team.

That leaves the Sixers in the precarious position of convincing Joel Embiid that they are contending while fielding a squad lightyears away from actually doing so. The only option is to get the best possible return for James Harden before he balloons to three bills, and really starts loafing on defense.