Football Page 1339 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, The Fun They'll Have
According to Sports By Brooks and KMPC Radio in Los Angeles, now that college football expert Nick Lachey and non-sports-related wife Jessica Simpson have reportedly split up (or maybe not), Lachey might actually be moving in with Southern Cal quarterback Matt Leinart. (We're going to assume he do...
Orton, Bears Acknowledge Drooling Jack Daniels Photos
For all you poor souls who doubted the authenticity of our Kyle Orton getting bombed pictures, stand up and recognize: The Bears and Orton addressed the pictures yesterday....
Welcome Back, Vinny
Well, that didn't take long at all: Vinny Testaverde has returned as starter for the New York Jets. We're not sure he'll be any better than Brooks Bollinger, but he most certainly will be more fun. Our favorite part of Madden 2005, by the way, is signing Vinny to The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Ca...
Chad Johnson's Evil Genius
Fans are still buzzing about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's inspired touchdown celebration against the Chicago Bears a couple of weeks ago, in which he aped Michael Flatley's Riverdance routine. Funny, definitely, and certainly original. But was it a quiet, brilliant rip on Bears linebacker ...
Bear Down, Chicago Bear
Far be it from us to tell starting quarterbacks of first-place NFL teams how to spend their bye week, but we couldn't help but post these pictures — sent to us by a reader — of Bears QB Kyle Orton, at a bar in Iowa City over the long weekend. It was taken on Thursday, hence the Blue Jays-Red Sox g...
Jesus Christ, All-Pro
Little Billy was a terror on defense — he had been living in the opponents' backfield all day. But then he took it one step too far. Yes, as you may have guessed from this photo, Billy was penalized 15 yards for "roughing Jesus," an infraction that also carries loss of down, plus possible eternal ...
Phil Simms Keeps His Eye On The Balls
One of our favorite ongoing gags at Out Sports is the running tab of homoerotic comments made by CBS analyst Phil Simms during his telecasts. Favorites from the past include "[Miami running back] Lamar Smith doesn't look like much in his underwear" and his constant references to Dan Marino as "a h...
NFL Roundup: Party Para Mexico
• We're a little slow this morning, because did a shot every time ESPN showed some Mexican "culture" during last night's 31-14 Buzzsaw victory over the 49ers. We know it's unusual to play a game in another country, but the slack-jawed awe of the broadcasters last night — "look, another local! Thes...
Who Is The Dumbest Team In Football?
It's a general consensus, we think, that football players are considered dumb. Even if they were smart at birth, once their brains were subjected to repeated jostling for two decades, all the good genes probably ended up dripping out. Well, the Wall Street Journal today looks at how each NFL team ...
The World's First Buzzsaw Blog
The day we've been personally waiting for has finally arrived: The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals finally have a fanblog. We have searched high and long for a Buzzsaw blog for many years, and we found none; according to our research, they were the only team in the three major sports — not t...
Bad Time To Think Of Peyton
Just an update on our Peyton Manning/Kenny Chesney/Brokeback Mountain item from yesterday: We were doing some searching, and we found this pretty damning story from Chesney, via Anecdotage:...
Rammer Jammer Motley Hammer
We're not sure what much more we can add to this picture except to say we're curious if this makes Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author Warren St. John exuberant, horrified or both....
Alberts Prays To Wrong God For Help
Earlier this month, ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was fired by his network for refusing to show up because of an airtime dispute. In his first public comments since the firing, Alberts says that ESPN has pretty much crushed his ability to be on TV again....
Peyton Manning Going All Brokeback Mountain On Us?
OK, now this be should be filed under "Complete Random Rumor From Gossip Newsletter That Knows Nothing About American Sports," but the pure notion of it is so hysterical that we can't help but bring it to your attention....
Tom Brady The Next Namath In More Ways Than One
We were pleased to see that Patriots quarterhunk Tom Brady shook off his hangover enough to lead the Pats to a last-minute victory over the Steelers last week; we were beginning to become somewhat concerned about his tendency to get all bombed and start hitting on Olsen twins....
Tillman's Family Still Searching For Answers
The family of slain soldier Pat Tillman — whose jersey we have owned for six years — are simultanously making more headway on getting answers about the death of their son and getting farther away. They reviewed the military papers and found "countless" names and information blacked out....
The Lonesome Buzzsaw
We find it amusing that the NFL is beginning to truly, deeply understand what we have known for years: There are no Arizona Cardinals fans. As the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals prepares to "host" the first regular season NFL game in Mexico, it appears that, when you walk around Mexico Cit...
If Tom Cruise Were A Lineman
As obsessive as Madden 2006 players tend to be, we're surprised it took this long to be discovered, but it appears a glitch in the game has Jets offensive lineman Michael King listed as seven inches high. (That's him in the picture, doing a pretty excellent job at blocking a Buccaneer, considering...
Suge Knight Gets His Bear Bryant On
A recent study from Merrill Lynch Investment Management took a look at how Americans are taking a new look at retirement. Essentially, they don't think retirement for today's baby boomers means empty decades of shuffleboard, cruise ships and tapioca; they see it as an opportunity, a way to reinven...
In The Wake Of Chad
We've always liked Jets fans, if just because they have that unique New York blend of bitter cynicism and unabashed homerism toward their team. They're like the woman who has nothing nice to say about her spoiled younger sister ... but she'll have your throat if you do....