Was it a bad idea to agree to write a scene report for a city like Philadelphia? Home of the sports fans who, due to a poorly coached season, pelted a Santa Claus with hundreds of snowballs at an Eagles halftime show in 1968, laughing like stoned teenagers while the poor bastard crouched in fear behind his sleigh. I’m also thinking about the time Jacy Webster, owner of Philadelphia Record Exchange, told me that at a Dead Boys show in Kensington, a drunken Cheetah Chrome flashed some punks his junk and tried soliciting sexual favors from them, and they ended up kicking him repeatedly in his unsheathed member while he laid there screaming in agony. Or when Peter Murphy and company had to be snuck out through a back alley because folks from the neighborhood smashed all the windows of the rowhouse Bauhaus was supposed to play in when they saw all the goths standing outside smoking cigs.
But it’s also the city that has given me the best times of my life: smiling ear to ear while watching Philadelphians bask in the drunken afterglow of the Mummers Parade as blue-collar workers dressed in drag and golden shoes engage in intricate group choreography; or when the Eagles won the Super Bowl and I watched a group of senior citizens take seven shots of Irish whiskey off a hockey stick in unison, a sight to behold—go Birds! The city where I’ve fallen in love and had my heart broken—go Phillies.
Philadelphia is a tough city brimming with resilient, salt of the Earth people who have no time for bullshit. These are the same folks who make up the incredible bands here: great bands with talent and grit like no other. The ones who come together to play music festivals like Something To Talk About, Couple Ghouls Fest, and Julia’s War Fest. The ones who pull together to help their friends get life-saving care and gather to raise mutual aid for folks suffering across the world. Philly has a rich history of bands and musicians that generate so much pride for us—Pure Hell, The Stick Men, The Heathens, Lily’s, and Jack Rose—but I believe the scene still produces many equally great bands, so if the spiky punks crowdsurf me into the bathroom at Cousin Danny’s and give me a swirlie, it will have been well worth it.
If I had the gall to criticize one aspect of the Philly music scene, it would only be that a lot of the sub-scenes and the folks in them are criminally unaware of each other. They are often separated by neighborhoods: North, South, and West Philly mainly. There is so much great music happening under William Penn’s accidentally phallic shadow casting down on the clusters of punks puffing on e-cigs outside the shows around the city. The beautiful West Philly punks are stomping away blissfully unaware of the wall-rattling noise show at Jerry’s. The art rockers of North Philly are blind to the packed, sweaty D-beat gig in the Haus basement in West. It’s sometimes painful to see this divide. Being not too connected to any one scene, I feel like I can love them all equally and maybe never truly be accepted into any of them. This is a love letter to the bands I’ve had the pleasure of seeing and hearing. Rather than segregate them, I’ll let them fall side by side, as they are in my puny, music-loving brain. And maybe they’ll read this and see each other too. You probably already know bigger acts like Spirit of The Beehive, Mannequin Pussy, Sheer Mag, Poison Ruïn, and TAGABOW…but these are the ones to look out for.
Punk/Hardcore/No Wave
Phantom
7 Song Demo
Cassette
Phantom restored my faith in live hardcore. This completely unique and absolutely feral band blew my mind in the packed upstairs room at Foto Club in North Philadelphia. Accessing every riff under the sun and pissing into the wind, these guys are a peerless anomaly; fast, raw, and calculating.
Negative World Status
Negative World Status Demo
Negative World Status issue a boot to the head on their debut demo. Their sound is rude and punchy, borrowing some egg-y/synth-y tricks, but the music is much more guttural and much less goofy. Angular, stomp-y punk that will have you karate-kicking your supervisor into the water cooler.
Kinetic Orbital Strike
The True Disaster
7" Vinyl
Kinetic Orbital Strike’s sound washes over you like a nuclear blast. This is heavy, pummeling raw punk that would be a welcome find for fans of ’80s Japanese D-beat and Swedish hardcore. The noisy guitars, fast clunky beats, and neolithic vocals make the head go bop.
Sweepers
Demonstration
Cassette
Here to clean up the streets, no wave rockers Sweepers access panicked, jolting riffs and shifty, speedy rhythms to create a completely singular sound. The singer is armed with a microphone attached to a push broom, and they push their way through busy shows while spectators gawk in delight. For lovers of James Chance, other NYC skronkers, and a bottle of windex and paper towels.
Z-Pak
15 Minutes with Z-Pak
Cassette
If huffing glue and touching your eyeball for fun were a band, well it would be Z-Pak. Complete weirdo jams that are fast and spastic, but also pretty heady—lyrically dense with twisted humor and social critique.
Indie/Art Rock/Shoegaze
fib
fib
Fib are transplants from Portland, but hey, man, it’s been over a year—and what a year. Think “if Gang of Four and Television were a four-track indie rock band and did amphetamines and basically every other drug at the same time.” Just a really exciting mix of jerky jangle and well-sung, memorable hooks.
Golden Apples
Bananasugarfire
Sweater/Hoodie, Vinyl LP
If you’re down for some rich jangle and big, well-developed songs, you’ll dig Golden Apples. Lots of great U.S. and New Zealand ’90s pop vibes à la K Records and Flying Nun. The recording is so dense and rich—layer after layer of percussion, acoustic guitars, and harmonious sound swirl.
ME N U
Pushpin
Cassette
DIY wizards ME N U are an excellent grab bag of aberrant pop, angular jangle, and ’90s rock. In a packed basement you can expect to see the ME N U members dressed subtly as South Park characters delivering heaps of speedy, weirdo riffs while the world around them moves in slow motion.
A Country Western
Life on the Lawn
Vinyl LP, Compact Disc (CD), Cassette
No, this isn’t an Alan Jackson cover band. It’s even better, if you can believe it. A Country Western craft memorable songs that pull from bands like Codeine, Pavement, and Pinback, but execute them using their own warbly, wonky vision. This could be the next Philly band to really blow up.
Rock ‘n’ Roll/ Power Pop
Writhing Squares
Mythology
Vinyl LP
This seasoned duo have been making waves in the Philly scene for years as members of bands like Purling Hiss and Spacin’. Writhing Squares, however, are on their own unique, strange, fruitful odyssey of modulated and powerful, riff-y krautrock madness.
Mopar Stars
Burning Question
Members of heavy bands Zorn and Poison Ruïn show their softer side with Mopar Stars, an exercise in Big Star-esque power pop and jangly ’90s rock. These rippers exercise restraint, focusing on the songs—until they don’t, and let out the most insane guitar solo you can imagine, but mostly, it’s just great songs.
Blues Ambush
S/T
Cassette
All hail the demented doctors of psychedelic boogie. Blues Ambush are purveyors of fuzzy, tangled, guitar-forward instrumental fever. The trio conjure eight-minute-plus, no frills, deconstructed, loud blues assaults designed to kill hippies and members of the establishment.
Labels
World Gone Mad Records
Cassette
World Gone Mad, run by Aaron Muchanic, has been releasing great Philly punk records alongside buried treasures from around the world for years. WGM’s discography includes some of the craziest Philly bands, such as Dridge, S-21, and Blank Spell.
Strange Mono
Cassette, T-Shirt/Shirt
Strange Mono has been releasing punk, hardcore, noise, and off-kilter pop for the last few years, donating all proceeds to the mutual aid fund of the band’s choice. Not only is this an admirable mission, but they have released some truly great Philly bands including Truculent, Webb Chapel, and Concrete Caveman.
Abandon Everything Records
Abandon Everything Records has come out swinging with release after release of hard-hitting Philly music. Some of their amazing records include Drill and Positronix.
Though I’ve only scratched the surface, maybe this will lead you into the deep rabbit hole that is the Philly DIY scene. If you like the music, check out the festival that I book yearly. This year it’s called U3 Fest and will be held on October 5th at Underground Arts. Some of these bands will hopefully be playing there alongside many touring acts from around the world. At the very least, come to Philly, eat a cheesesteak, see a killer show, and hopefully avoid getting kicked in the groin. Pack your leather studded cup for style and protection, just in case. And who knows! Maybe I’ll be there with you, chanting along to the songs with my fist in the air and my head I’m the toilet. See you in the pit.
