It makes the protagonist sound like a man and the antagonist sound like a woman but the man doesn't seem... Manly enough. If I were to write this I wouldn't be making him cry of fear for himself and all the pain he is going to go through but instead have the antagonist torture a loved one in front of them and that is why they are crying
Want to avoid the action movie effect and make your character's injuries have realistic lasting impacts? Have a sick character you're using as hurt/comfort fodder? Everyone has tips for how to write…