What would you do with a time or energy boost of 50%? Even a 10% boost would be pretty amazing. If you had 10-50% more time and energy to take care of yourself and the people and projects you care about, that would be life changing.
I read about a working mom who organize her time so ruthlessly that she always keyed in 1:11 or 2:22 or 3:33 on the microwave rather than 1:00, 2:00 or 3:00, because she realized hitting the same number three times took less time. There is no doubt in my mind that she had a full plate. Too full. But how much time was she gaining? Instead of squeezing seconds out of a microwaved lunch, removing a nonessential item for her to-do list or asking for help on a project would have provided more relief and more of a time and energy boost. Juggling everything makes it impossible to enjoy anything.
Pre-simplicity me would have tried to implement this strategy of 1:11 because I too was determined to fit it all in. Instead of saying, “no” more often and doing less, I’d turn to a productivity hack that I thought would allow me to do more. It became a bad habit. I kept saying yes, kept piling it on, and kept falling behind. I measured who I was by what I got done. If you’ve ever used your to-do list or calendar as a report card to assess your self-worth, you know what I mean. I shared this story in my first book, Soulful Simplicity because simplifying your life doesn’t just mean decluttering your home. It means decluttering your to-do list, your calendar and your yeses too!
Over committing myself and my time led to a complete energy depletion. I was in a constant cycle of doing too much, exhausting myself, getting sick and barely recovering before starting all over again. Every day, inch by inch we throw our time and energy away by saying yes before carefully considering how much time and energy we have to devote. We think that just because we can do one more thing, we should do one more thing. But should we?
The not so secret, secret for a time and energy boost is simply saying no more often.
Saying no isn’t always easy, especially for kind, generous souls, for people pleasers, and for people who are used to saying yes to everything (so most of us). We are usually willing to overextend ourselves in terms of time, energy and even health so we don’t risk disappointing others.
- Yes, I’ll meet that deadline.
- Yes, I’ll meet you for coffee
- Yes, I’ll make a wonderful family dinner.
- Yes, you can pick my brain.
- Yes, I’ll drive you to the airport.
- Yes, I’ll take that call.
- Yes, I’ll make that thing.
- Yes, I’ll answer every email and text.
- Yes, I’ll respond to every thing that annoys me on social media.
The list goes on (and on and on). For tips on how to say no when you want to say no — read this.
7 Things to Cut Out for a 50% Boost in Your Time and Energy
In the spirit of saying no more often for a major time and energy boost, here are seven things to cut out (or say no to) of your life. You don’t have to remove all of them or remove them all at once. Start small and notice how letting go of each one begins to free up time and give you more energy for what matters most to you.
1. Say no to staying up late.
Author, Laura Vanderkam says that going to bed early is the way adults sleep in. I wake up early no matter what time I go to sleep so I prioritize going to bed early. Without 7-8 hours of sleep a night, I don’t feel my best. If you want to see an energy boost, look at your sleep schedule. If going to bed earlier will get you closer to that 7-8 hour range, say no to staying up late. Sometimes this means letting go of “getting it all done” or declining an invite for a dinner or event that starts late. In my experience it’s almost always worth it.
2. Stop proving who you are by what you do.
Doing more things does not make you a better person. It makes you a tired person. The exhausting part isn’t just doing the things but then all the measuring for yourself and demonstrating to others. It’s draining us of so much time and energy.
3. Let go of being tethered to your phone.
Sometimes when I hold my phone in my hands, I can feel my energy being sucked out of me. I know that scrolling, checking and all of the other things my phone allows me to do doesn’t give me a time or energy boost. In fact, it’s usually the opposite — totally draining. The best way to cut the tie you have to your phone is to set time and space boundaries, aka phone-free spaces. These spaces might be an area, like your car or kitchen table. Or, they might be blocks of time. For instance, set aside some phone-free time first thing in the morning and put it into sleep mode from 7:00 am – 7:00 pm.
4. Choose to be unbothered.
How do you respond when things don’t go the way you want them to go? Being upset and frustrated takes a lot of energy. Before you fall into a frustration spiral that turns into stress and anxiety, check in. Ask yourself what’s really bothering you. Then make a list of potential solutions, people who can help and what you might be able to do in order to let the air out of the frustration balloon.
When you feel frustrated or disappointed, could you find some relief in accepting the reality of the situation and moving on? This “check-in” will require a pause and a look at what you are contributing to any situation. As Byron Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” When you can’t be unbothered, here’s how to quit the chaos.
5. Get out of the comparison trap.
We all know the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy” but we forget that comparison is also the thief of time and energy. Your life holds too much beauty and promise to compare it away. With practice, you can replace comparison with gratitude. Appreciate what you have and who you are, and encourage the best for everyone around you. One of my favorite quotes is from Erica Cook, “I’m not interested in competing with anyone. I hope we all make it.”
Comparing is really just silent competing. There will always be a better circumstance (or a worse one) to compare to yet rarely do either change your situation. Comparing only changes how you feel about your situation.
6. Cut your need for speed.
Logically we think that if we can move faster, we can get more done and maybe even have time and energy for how we actually want to spend our time and energy. We prove to ourselves that this is a lie over and over again because the faster we go, the more mistakes we make and the more stressed and tired we become. Not to mention, we miss the little moments in our lives that we long to have more time and attention for. Instead, slow down and enjoy your life.
7. Care less about what other people think.
Caring less about what other people think is the ultimate form of self care. It doesn’t mean you care less about other people, only that you will begin to trust yourself more. Your decisions about your life won’t please everyone and that’s ok. Attempting to be pleasing all the time will continue to drain your time and energy.
I’m not suggesting that any of these cuts will be easy and some may be out of reach today. Let them be a work in progress. Be gentle with yourself as you consider these shifts and experiment to see where you find your greatest time and energy boosts. I’ll be over here cheering you on as I work on them too!