……suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of “fae don’t like iron bc it is the most stable element*”
*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all
Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.
“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”
“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”
“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”
“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”
“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?” *indistinct vocals* “Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”
“I can’t get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?”
*passes a scroll* *a few moments of silence*
“I think you missed a bookend rune right here-”
“GODS DAMN IT! IT’S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!” *angrily scribbles on parchment*
(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)
I don’t play wizards anymore because they’re too much like my day job.
Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.
You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!
Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It’s just explaining to Firewing what you’re trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you’ve been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!
Programming is magic (derogatory) so why shouldn’t magic also be programming (derogatory)?
please watch this scene from the Garfield movie that establishes how evil the villain is
The fact that I can make out what he’s saying with the video muted is a great example of “show don’t tell”, further establishing the credibility of this film as a cinematic masterpiece
forget Resting Bitch Face, I have Resting Competent Face. People see me and think ah yes she can point me to the nearest train station. Fellow grocery shoppers ask if I know what kind of butter they should buy. If a strange man speaks to me on the street it is literally always an inquiry and never a catcall. Once someone randomly asked me what an equinox was and after I told her she nodded and said “you seemed like you’d know.” why am I assigned oracle at random interaction
The freak autistic girl who rambles about her interests and has 30 billion weird kinks does exist btw, it’s just that she’s usually also a little fat so nobody wants to hear it.
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